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Sensitive subject - Inheritance. Advice needed how to deal or not deal with this

(9 Posts)
Wheelycote Fri 17-Feb-17 09:55:46

My lovely nan passed away end of October last year. I grew up without a mum and raised by my Dad. She was closest thing I had to a mum. My Dad passed away in 2013 sadly.

My nanna had 5 children including my Dad. When my Nanna was passing away, my uncle said that nanna had told him that she wanted me to have my Dads share of whatever was left. Which my uncle said it was 3000. I never expected anything to be honest because they are a shady bunch of characters. He repeated this after she passed and at the funeral.
Since the funeral, Im not kidding they have all been incognito. I tried reaching out because I wanted to keep us all together rather than them all drifting apart but I got a frost reception to say the least off two of them and my uncle who had originally said about inheritance has not been answering my calls. They all live about 100 miles from me so not so easy as to go and check on them. I was worried as he is normally the best one at communicating and contacted his girlfriend to make sure he was ok. She said 'Oh yes, he's fine'.
They weren't a chatty bunch before but I feel frozen out. I suspect its due to the money, I could be completely wrong.
Am I being Unreasonable to expect some communication? As time is rolling on I feel more hurt, angry and disappointed

Shoxfordian Fri 17-Feb-17 10:27:41


Sadly unless she made a will; I think it will be difficult for you to access any money she may have left you. It would be a good idea to talk to a solicitor

terrylene Fri 17-Feb-17 10:44:11

Under rules of intestacy, you would inherit your deceased father's share.

If your Nana made a Will, then it would depend on whether she left you anything or not.

I expect £3000 would cost more to fight for than you would get but it may be worth trying CAB to see what you can do about it. A solicitors letter may prompt some action. Did she own property or was it just savings?

Hellmouth Fri 17-Feb-17 10:46:37

Are you bothered about the money or is it more about being close to your family? It does sound like they think you want the money, and maybe there isn't a will.

SistersOfPercy Fri 17-Feb-17 11:42:18

Funny dh and I were discussing something similar last night.
About ten years ago my aunt (dad's sister) died aged 54. We were very close and she was extremely close to my children. We'd also been close to my uncle. They had been a part of my life for 40 years.
She knew she was dying and told me that when she'd gone she wanted me to have a signet ring that belonged to my nan. Uncle knew this.
After the funeral, like your relatives, radio silence. Calls were unanswered and I had to explain to my children why their much loved uncle had seemingly cut them off.
Ten years on and ive seen or heard nothing of him.

I feel sad for my children that they lost that relationship, especially if it was over a ring worth less than £100. But on the other hand I feel somewhat grateful that the price of finding out the true colours of this person was so cheap.

If you ask for your share you alienate them, if you don't they avoid you anyway. If they are like this for £3k then I'd question my relationship with them anyway.


Lovelybangers Fri 17-Feb-17 11:46:02

Was there a will? I hope so as then this can be settled easily.

Your uncles/aunts sound callous ti want too cut you out for the sake of a few hundred pounds each?

Sorry for the loss of your nan flowers

artiface Fri 17-Feb-17 12:10:10

I'm so sorry this has happened.
Its not clear if there was a Will, but if there was you can order a copy of it once it has gone to probate, if you look online you can order it by post

Wheelycote Fri 17-Feb-17 12:41:38

Thanks for your messages

There was no will. It wasn't about the money initially and if they had said xyz had happened etc etc I may have called them jammy sods but I would have chosen a relationship over money. There the last of my family left and they've known me since I was little and last connection to my Dad and Nanna, I can talk about them and we share memories - if that makes sense. That's priceless stuff to me.
With the no communication - the more hurt I am, as time is passing, which makes me think NO this isn't ok. They all have houses, Im saving for a deposit - that 3000 would help massively.

The only thing I can think of is going up there and knocking on the door, I just don't fancy having my heart handed back to me on a plate.

terrylene Fri 17-Feb-17 12:54:31

It can take a while to sort out the admin. All the money needs to be accounted for, bills paid etc before anything can be paid out. Banks may require Letters of Administration before paying out, which is a bit like a grant of probate, where an Administrator is appointed, like an Executor. So I don't think 3 1/2 months is too long with Christmas in the way. You would have thought they would like to keep you informed though.

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