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To think most friendships are one sided ?

(8 Posts)
fragglerocked Fri 17-Feb-17 07:53:42

As the title says, I'm starting to realise that most friendships are clearly one sided, I'm often on the worst side you know the one where your taken advantage of, the one where you drop everything to support your friends through the most dreadful of times to be dropped right when you need just a little support and comfort back! Now it would be terribly easy to cut them out completely but in all honesty wouldn't that make me just as cuntish as them ?

omnishamblesssssssssssssss Fri 17-Feb-17 07:56:50

Most good relationships sway between give and take. Yes and sometimes it can be a bit imbalanced but that's mostly ok. If you're being completely used with little return then that's not friendship

Bananacabana Fri 17-Feb-17 07:57:29

I have very few friends left after having the same realisation. I don't think it's cuntish to stop tolerating being ill treated.

Somehowsomewhere Fri 17-Feb-17 07:59:49

I don't agree that 'most' are one sided. I have had maybe one or two in the past that have been, but I would say that all my friendships now are fairly equal. Not 100% equal all the time, as there are times when some people require more support than others, but certainly on balance.

fragglerocked Fri 17-Feb-17 08:10:49

I have one friendship that sways and we've both been through some horrendous times currently her life is in turmoil yet she's still there offering support to me if needed and due to her current situation I don't wish to burden her. Thought I could find a listening ear in another friend who's basically decided to ignore my calls so I'd say that's now dead in the water yet I can guarantee she calls with her next crisis / drama.

INeedAnAlibi Fri 17-Feb-17 08:11:50

I think you need to stop giving so much of yourself to these people Fraggle flowers

Friendship should be give & take as a PP has said... personally I can count on one hand the amount of friendships I have which are & only 2 of these are RL friendships!

fragglerocked Fri 17-Feb-17 08:21:25

INeedAnAlibi your right I have several online friends who are absolutely brilliant it's a damn shame that we don't live closer as they've seen me through some rough times I guess it would just be nice to have an actual hug from time to time sad

cherrytree63 Fri 17-Feb-17 08:29:44

I once read a saying "In every relationship, one kisses while the other offers their cheek".
I've had friends that I've been "useful" to, listening ear, lifts to events (I don't drink", invites when someone else can't make it.
But to be fair, due to massive lack of confidence, I'm at times the flakey friend.
As in, I don't think people want to spend time with me so I rarely make the effort to instigate things, or I cancel stuff.

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