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AIBU to be frustrated, perhaps even angry?

(21 Posts)
SisyphusHadItEasy Fri 17-Feb-17 01:35:03

Background - not for pity, just to paint a picture.

DH is out of work, but has an interview in his field tomorrow.

I work part time and we have 3 DCs at home. All have varying disabilities, eldest 2 (20 and 18) are reasonably self sufficient, DD (11) requires a lot of care. She had a major stroke (her first of 2) when she was just 3 weeks old, and has a number of medical and developmental challenges, both related to the stroke and as a part of her underlying disease.

She has been chosen to represent a major charity for this year's campaign, which is a good thing, but a very busy time as the campaign ramps up.

We are also dealing with a significant effect of her strokes, uncontrolled epilepsy. After 11 1/2 years of unsuccessful treatment with medication, she has been referred to a complex epilepsy team and is currently under assessment to map out "important" areas of her brain before they remove a portion of it to hopefully reduce or eliminate her seizures. Today, we were up before dawn to travel 250 km each way to London for a specialised MRI to ensure she will not lose her language abilities as a result of the surgery.

So, more than a little stress in the house right now... some good, some bad, but just lots.

Please, MN jury, tell me - was I unreasonable to be really pissed off that the curry I made tonight after a very long day did not turn out the way I was hoping? grin halo grin

PopGoesTheOysteryBullshit Fri 17-Feb-17 01:41:23

Yanbu. 😂 What went wrong?

GreatFuckability Fri 17-Feb-17 01:42:36

Ywnbu to throw a minor tantrum over disappointing curry even without added stress. Add in the stress and you're allowed full on wailing and sobbing.
grin

SisyphusHadItEasy Fri 17-Feb-17 01:46:44

Damn it, I screwed it up... no tantrum. Quietly seethed, instead.

Nothing was outright wrong with the curry, it just tasted a bit flat and bland. Still ate it, though - most of the day on the road without a meal and I would have probably eaten my own shoes with a bit of sauce.

ElvishArchdruid Fri 17-Feb-17 02:14:03

With the stress you're under its totally not unreasonable. Wishing you the best.

tazzle22 Fri 17-Feb-17 02:31:54

Well you have heard the old saying.... it's the straw that breaks the camels back ! You can bear all the other stuff cos you have to and it's nothing you have control over iyswim... but in your mind you mussed up the curry 🤗 Meh that normal ... give yourself a hug !!!

Happyfeet1972 Fri 17-Feb-17 02:54:46

Of course not OP, seethe away. I had full on tantrum last time I made a curry...Made 2 as DP and i have different dietary needs. His turned out great, mine was like dishwater.....Went in the bin. And then had to watch as the bastard ate his and I was forced to eat oven chips (or whatever else I found in the freezer).

cake instead?

e1y1 Fri 17-Feb-17 03:26:30

I'd have been the exact same. You're dealing with a lot.

flowers and cake for you.

MidniteScribbler Fri 17-Feb-17 03:41:52

I think that you should be more upset that while you were travelling and caring for your children that your out of work husband didn't bother cooking instead.

Paninotogo Fri 17-Feb-17 04:02:05

You quietly seethed, tonight I scooped up my whole gone-wrong lasagne in my bare hands and threw it AT the sink. Big big mess, I am an idiot. So no, YANBU. I wish you all the best with everything else, you sound so strong

Devilishpyjamas Fri 17-Feb-17 04:06:12

Epilepsy is a bastard - hope that all goes well for your dd.

Take away next time!

hmcAsWas Fri 17-Feb-17 04:20:59

Goodness OP just how much do you have on your plate 😮?

Your culinary skills may need work but in all other respects you're incredible!

IamtheDevilsAvocado Fri 17-Feb-17 04:37:04

Deffo entitled to a major strop... With possibly the extra of throwing it in OHs direction for not cooking!

You are forgiven.. And encouraged by this jury!

IAmNotAWitch Fri 17-Feb-17 05:59:17

Fucking stupid curry.

gabsdot Fri 17-Feb-17 08:11:19

I feel your pain. It's awful when the dinner you're looking forward to isn't as nice as you'd hoped.

Penfold007 Fri 17-Feb-17 09:04:43

Oh I feel your pain. Slow cooker 'fakeaway' looked good, smelt good, sliced perfectly ---- tasted bleurgh!!

Good luck to DH with his interview.

SisyphusHadItEasy Fri 17-Feb-17 13:20:45

Thanks for all the support.

Funds are really tight right now because of the cost of travel (this was our 5th 200+ mile round trip in the last fortnight) but DH and I have decided that we are going to try to scrape together a few pennies for a takeaway tonight, maybe even a bottle of wine.

I guess when the basket is full, you take your breaks where and how you can find them.

SisyphusHadItEasy Fri 17-Feb-17 13:21:31

Oh, and I love "fakeaway", Penfold grin

SisyphusHadItEasy Fri 17-Feb-17 13:24:16

Midnite - I have to be fair to DH, he travelled with us yesterday. That is my fault, my initial post was misleading.

butterfly990 Fri 17-Feb-17 13:54:16

Would you consider crowd funding for the travel expenses. I would support it.

If she is also the charity campaign child can they not support some of the cost?

PS. I can ruin a curry without any outside stresses. So I think you are amazing!

SisyphusHadItEasy Fri 17-Feb-17 14:14:58

The charity will help us with travel costs related to our work with them, but not "unrelated" travel.

I briefly considered crowd funding, but if we were to take that route, I would rather wait until she has her surgery, as the family will be divided at that time (I will be with DD in London and staying at the Ronald McDonald House, DH back here with the other 2 and hopefully working again to keep things stable at home).

Also, and this is just a personal thing, if I can avoid crowd funding entirely that would be my preference. I would rather not open my life up for inspection and judgement by strangers.

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