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To feel as though DH doesn't trust me

(7 Posts)
MrsPepperpot79 Thu 16-Feb-17 23:20:02

For her christening our lg was given some cash and a premium bond. DH got the bond, I opened a saving account (linked to my bank account). Money been added to the savings from couple of eBay sales and her first birthday. DH now can't find the bond certificate. Lots of comments about how he's never lost paperwork before (I only moved in 16 months ago with my kids when prey with our lg), really pissed off, have I seen it etc. For last two weeks been asking where is savings passbook, what total is in it etc. Tonight more of the same, along with him wanting passbook as he wants to put some in tomorrow, will they show updated amounts when he puts it in (because I have electronically transferred,not used passbook), did I def put in the twenty quid from her birthday... Its starting to feel like he doesn't believe me. He's always asking about if I have money, do I need some, "just don't get into debt for gods sake". Think this is because I told him, when I moved in, that I had some debts, so would not get a joint account with him, to protect him. I did explain though that debt had scared me so have no overdraft facility, no credit card, no store cards etc so cannot get into debt again. Almost wish I hadn't been honest about prior stuff now and just kept quiet. Am I over reacting to resent the questioning over lg savings and insinuations that I'm responsible for missing bond? Perhaps I'm over thinking but its really bugging me...

Chloe84 Thu 16-Feb-17 23:28:21

I'd be telling him he's a fine one to talk about remembering things, considering he's the one who misplaced a bond certificate. Get annoyed about it!

And tell him that just because you trusted him with your financial history does not mean he gets to bring it up constantly, however obliquely. If he doesn't change, then I would say he is a bit controlling.

OutToGetYou Thu 16-Feb-17 23:29:06

I'd there a reason you can't just give him the passbook, then he'd know, wouldn't he?

WorraLiberty Thu 16-Feb-17 23:32:57

How well did you know each other before you actually got married?

It does sound as though something isn't quite right in the trust department.

WorraLiberty Thu 16-Feb-17 23:34:46

Actually, why does he need the passbook anyway?

Surely he has the online login details, so he can put money in the same way you do?

Topseyt Fri 17-Feb-17 02:11:48

He sounds rather controlling and I would be telling him to back off.

Why is he going on about a passbook? Doesn't he realise that not all savings accounts have passbooks. Many are esavers. No passbook required.

ElvishArchdruid Fri 17-Feb-17 02:19:15

For some people they like to see the figure if those old fashioned books, maybe as a momento for DC.

I would ask him outright is there a problem I'm not aware of? All the questions about money etc.

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