AIBU to think that some people love posting rude replies to wind people up?(47 Posts)
I only usually read/post on AIBU and I know some people can be a bit 'full on', but this is AIBU after all. I posted on another board earlier, which is fairly lighthearted, and someone replied in a really rude way, basically trying to make me look stupid and assuming I know nothing (when I'm actually very experienced in the matter being discussed). I know I am probably being a bit of a wimp and a bit U, as I guess you have to expect this; people can say what they like behind a pseudonym, with no thought for the person on the other end. It just upset me a bit (I know, I know- man up). I've even name changed - how pathetic is that?! It just annoyed me and I didn't expect to be so annoyed/upset by it. (NB won't mention the thread as the poster will know what I'm talking about if they read this).
YABU. For all you know that person gave what they thought was a reasonable and rational response to the post, you can't assume the motivations or thought processes of other people.
Its not something to take seriously though.
I know what you mean. I'm taken aback by responses sometimes too. But then sometimes I reread things I've written and they sound much more arsey than I meant them to, so I've probably done the same thing to other people somewhat unwittingly.
There are a few posters on here though - one in particular - who seem to post nasty things just for the fun of it. Personal insults etc. It's a bit much.
Some people seem mainly focussed on the negatives, I usually ignore them. I just think don't feed the troll. If I read something and have a contraversial view I just exit out of the post and scroll on.
Some times people ask AIBU & they are but don't want to accept they're in the wrong, that's annoying too.
YANBU. I think sometimes people post for effect - an attempt to make themselves look witty/clever/cool - first, with any thought for whether their response will help the OP a very poor second, if it even crosses their mind at all. But I think that's message boards for you.
I know I'm just being sensitive and shouldn't take comments to heart- I was just offended as they just assumed didn't know what I was talking about without knowing that I've studied widely and know quite a bit! More backbone needed, I think! Maybe it wasn't meant to be rude but just came over that way- I guess that happens a lot and maybe I write things that people may misconstrue as being rude too (I hope not, though!).
...... sorry I couldn't help it!
I think some people do think in black and white and have problems with empathy!
I shan't flounce off, name change and take it to heart, Meffy! (What I am a knob about, mind, is not knowing how to make someone's name show in bold. Clueless.)
AIBU to think that some people love posting rude replies to wind people up?
Welcome to TrollyMcTrollyville
Guidelines for membership
Develop a skin like a rhino
Fine tune your troll-dar
Have a sense of humour
Don't take anything you read personally, they really don't know you.
Yes, you see a lot of this. Posts that probably warrant a 'You've been a bit stupid there' response get a 'You're an unfit/neglectful/entitled person who will scar their kids/partner for life and you deserve public shaming' one instead. I think people imagine they're playing to the crowd on Jeremy Kyle.
YANBU there are some nasty people on mumsnet. Some people just like to shit stir for the sake of it and they will do it on the most innocuous threads. I don't know why they do but I guess they find it fun. I'll disagree with OPs but I won't be a bitch about it.
You get to recognize the names. I wish we could chose to hide posters we don't like.
Fortunately there are lots of lovely people too.
I have seen the same person post wildly different replies to similar problems just to be (it seems) a bitch.
"AIBU to think that my kids should be able to remember their lunches?"
"YABU. FFS why did you bother having kids if you cant be arsed to look after them properly and make sure that they are fed?! Is it really such a hardship to you to remind them? Some people shouldnt be allowed to have kids"
"AIBU to think that DH should remind the kids to take their lunches?"
"YABU, they are old enough to remember their own stuff. Do you wipe their arses for them too? Nice way to make sure that they grow up to be helpless useless mummys boys! Some people shouldnt be allowed to have kids"
I have also noticed that if the first reply is anti the OP then there is a pile on of similar responses.
Yes, of course they do.
Take no notice of the stupid buggers. Defuse them.
They are the emotionally ugly ones, not you. Sail on by and be glad you're you : )
A pack of hyenas, as my friend's very Irish mother said to us once about some mean girls.
She said it in a high-pitched voice, expressing total outrage and indignataion at them, and she pronounced 'hyenas' 'hy-enners' ... : ) It was great. Remember, a pack of hy-enners. It's their nature. They hunt in packs and delight in the misery of the attacked.
Not nice - stuff them.
And the funniest thing is - they think they're 'cool'.
Mean girls at school at least probably still had the odd weakness or lack of experience/conviction, but unfortunately this gang on here (the mean gang, not everyone) are SO convinced of their own rightness - overnight experts because they've had a kid or two and lived a (tiny by the looks of it) bit.
Their smugness and bitchiness is horrible. They must be the monsters from the school gate, I think. Ugh.
And quite ludicrous, as their comment only show how limited they are, and how aggressive. Do not listen to one word they say. Their opinions are only an example of how idiots think. : )
They hunt in packs and delight in the misery of the attacked.
Like I said, always a pile on.
Yet attack one back and you have an attitude problem or are labelled a bitch yourself.
Can give it out but cant take it back........
What Pyong said, especially the bit about people piling in with negative replies.
Thank all for making me feel better- I know I was being way sensitive, but it's definitely true that the 'mean girls' type are out to stir and upset on purpose sometimes! I can't imagine most of them would say the same things face to face...
The problem with pure text is that you can read it the wrong way sometimes. Maybe they misunderstood you?
But don't let it get to you - it's just words on a screen, OP
I agree and know what you mean Dixie but I would not bat an eyelid at the unhelpful arsey replies, just scroll past. Thankfully the majority of posters are kind, witty, empathetic and very willing to just give you different perspective and they are the only replies I would give headspace to.
In your shoes, I think I'd be wondering why, whether intentionally or not, my original post cane across as being completely uninformed about the thing I'm a expert on, and gave an impression of ignorance on the issue.
The hard thing on a forum like this is that you have very little contextual information about anyone's level of knowledge on anything. I'm always completely gobsmacked at those 'I'm 35 and just found out x!' threads, or the gullibility of people on 'woo' threads, but my knowledge is deficient in some areas, too. But reading me on here, you wouldn't know which.
I don't know why this thread is still here quite frankly. Even by TAAT standards it very unpleasant.
My experience of MN is that there are a few people who are plain nasty, but very few. There are (as has been stated above) a lot of "sheep" who repeat what's been said in the posts above theirs. (although, to be fair, often the first 1/2 doz or so replies are all cross-posting and all typing at the same time, so although it reads that way, they're not copying each other [you can see that by the times of posting at the top of their posts]. It's all the ones who come after who do)
It's hard to ignore the nasty ones. I've been described as a bitch, and had biscuits thrown at me, and also described as "you seem like a lovely person". It's REALLY NICE that the internet thinks you're lovely. It's really horrid when the internet hates you.
One of the 'thing's I've found on MN is that you can get 2 more-or-less identical threads, with two completely different sets of answers.
Actually, the 'thing' that bothers me most is that an OP will state something, posters then pile in with their stories and then the whole thread will respond to the OP with the weight of the stories (which are generally extreme). So, to make that more specific, there was a thread a few weeks ago which was about an OP with a nursery-aged child, and her kid might have been a bit boisterous, or might have been a bit mean. Another kid had complained about her kid, but the teachers weren't worried, and the OP was wondering how she should play it. People then responded with their stories of how they'd been bullied (with some really extreme and terrible things that had happened to them) and they changed the tone of the thread, and all the responses became based about THEIR experiences, instead of the OPs. It morphs the thread. So if I post "I've noticed my baby wanks a lot - sticks his/her hand down his/her nappy" and then a poster comes on and tells his or her tale of sexual abuse, then all the responses that come after that are all around how to protect children from sexual abuse. Not saying this to minimise the experience of other posters, but just pointing out how sometimes the sharing of those experiences inadvertently derails a thread. I've had it happen to me, and it's very frustrating when you're desperately seeking advice and instead of helpful hints about how to deal with your DH, suddenly it's DV and you need to LTB! And when you try and say "no that's not it, it's actually just this" THEN the internet turns on you and the Vipers are out telling you you're being U and not listening. Actually, you really WANT to listen, but in order to listen, they need to hear!
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