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Working hours dilema

(36 Posts)
Princesstwilightsparkle Wed 15-Feb-17 22:52:02

I'm a working mum if two dc, ages 5 & 3. I currently work 3 days, but have been asked if I can increase to 4. I am totally torn up with what to do. I hate saying no, and can see that the extra money would be good, however the guilt in leaving them an extra day to nursery/wrap round care is playing on my mind. WWYD?

Bettyspants Wed 15-Feb-17 23:00:45

I'm a working mum with my two youngest a couple years older than yours. I went from two years as a stahm to full time (plus!!) with uni for a PhD on top. It's bloody hard. I have awful guilt towards my children, I'm doing it so I'll be on much more money and therefore able to drop my hours in five years, plus there's job satisfaction. However, if we had of been financially comfortable (at the time I went ft DH was between jobs and I lept at the position)with no extra future prospects I wouldn't have agreed to more hours (assuming I was pt!!) whilst children were so small.

Bettyspants Wed 15-Feb-17 23:01:13

Sorry that's as clear as mud isn't it!

Bettyspants Wed 15-Feb-17 23:02:05

Basically if your comfortable as you are if I was in your position I would wait.

Princesstwilightsparkle Wed 15-Feb-17 23:06:09

Reasonably, as in we can't afford anything flashy, but then again we are clothed, housed & fed. Wish they hadn't asked as I wouldn't have this silly conflict argument going on in my head

Astro55 Wed 15-Feb-17 23:06:38

Can you offer to go the extra day during busy times?

Or defer until both are in school?

What's your gut reaction?

MooMooTheFirst Wed 15-Feb-17 23:08:04

Ahhh don't do it if you're torn. My maternity leave is about to end tomorrow and I have one 9 month old DS. im desperately trying to think of ways/find a new job with fewer hours.

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe Wed 15-Feb-17 23:11:28

Surely the extra day in nursery would eat into any extra earnings anyway? I know that's sometimes worth doing if affordable and in order to keep your earning/promotion potential but would the 4 day option still be available to you a bit further down the line if you said no now?

To be honest if I had the option I'd stick with 3 days for a year or two. Having the extra flexibility that 2 non work days gives you as they start primary could be very useful.

Whathaveilost Wed 15-Feb-17 23:13:19

I would do it ( and did)
I seriously didn't feel guilty once I did the initial step and went back to work. The weekend before I did have a wobble.
However the kids loved being with their friends, I loved doing the pick up and hearing about their day and in all honesty money does help.
I was able to start having decent savings so I wasn't living on the edge all the time.
After a few weeks you will have your own routine.

Maybe ask for a temporary period to see how it shapes for you before committing permanently?

cloudjumper Wed 15-Feb-17 23:15:14

Could your OH go part-time? If you both do 4 days/week?

Princesstwilightsparkle Wed 15-Feb-17 23:15:53

My gut says no tbh, but my dh thinks I should. A little bit of my (possibly unreasonably) thinks he doesn't get that me being at home on the extra day is actually good for the family as a whole in terms of childcare, actual cleaning and cooking and general errand running. Think as hes full time my part time must seem like a doddle

greenworm Wed 15-Feb-17 23:18:05

Do you enjoy your job? Guilt issues aside, do you prefer the SAHM days or the work days?

Princesstwilightsparkle Wed 15-Feb-17 23:18:32

Money is good, shame its not a lottery win! The offer is only there short term and will be taken off the table soon, so have to make a decision confused

Princesstwilightsparkle Wed 15-Feb-17 23:20:07

Tbf my job is quite creative, so I am lucky in that sense. Just wish the shitty guilt fairy would do one!

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe Wed 15-Feb-17 23:20:53

Well then I think you need to discuss the practicalities with DH. Is he prepared to take more responsibility in the house, do more pick ups/drop offs? With you working closer to full time, if children are sick and can't go to nursery or school does he realise this may impact on him more than it does currently?

Princesstwilightsparkle Wed 15-Feb-17 23:23:38

He did say he would raise whether he could potentially do an extra pick up in the week with his boss. That would be good as doing both the drop offs and pick ups in time is a mare with work wedged inbetween

ChocolateSherberts2017 Wed 15-Feb-17 23:36:37

The thing to consider is whether the extra days pay will offset the extra day childcare needed and leave you with extra. For me, four days a week left me out of pocket so wasn't worth it in the end. Your youngest will be in school in a year so it might be worth revisiting then.

MrsBobDylan Wed 15-Feb-17 23:48:15

You don't sound like you want to do an extra day. Please don't end up agreeing to this because you feel guilty. It is perfectly valid to want to work 3 days not four. The only reason to do an extra day is if your family is struggling to meet core bills or if you want to.

tabithakitty Wed 15-Feb-17 23:52:57

I was talking to somebody about this yesterday! I wouldn't tbh. Unless the money makes a huge difference. I work 3.5 days a week, she works ft, one did age 3, plus lots of animals. My employer would love me to go ft, and the job isn't that well suited to or, but I don't want to. She will go to school in no time and I want to make the most of my time with her. Chances are, they will still want me ft in two years!

tabithakitty Wed 15-Feb-17 23:53:42

DH works ft!

BabychamSocialist Thu 16-Feb-17 00:51:27

If you don't want to do it, don't do it. To me, it doesn't sound like you want to really. Don't feel guilted into doing anything!

Want2bSupermum Thu 16-Feb-17 00:58:57

Have you considered doing 4 days condensed into 3 days? That way you get the full benefit of working the extra hours without increasing your childcare costs.

If your regular workweek is 40 hours it would be two 11 hour days and one 10 hour day. If you can get in early (DH doing the morning work and dropping off the kids) it could work well for you as you would be finishing at about your regular time. I love it when I can get in for 6.30am. I get so much more done between 6:30am and 9:30am which is when meetings tend to start.

WellyMummy Thu 16-Feb-17 01:07:20

Could you negotiate on the fourth day? Shorter hours so no wrap around school care needed, sometime working from home or term time only?

Want2bSupermum Thu 16-Feb-17 01:10:22

Also, if you are on a PT schedule ALWAYS have Monday and Friday as work days so if its a holiday you get the day off. When PT I always worked M/W/F with the premise that if I needed to work an extra day it was easier for me to find childcare on a Tuesday or Thursday than Monday or Friday.

Bettyspants Sat 18-Feb-17 09:27:45

Hi op just wondering if you've come to any decision?

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