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To not want my dc to go to this family wedding?

(11 Posts)
rednotpurple Wed 15-Feb-17 19:24:32

Name changed and I just hope the daily fail don't use the for fodder but I really need some advice input on i law troubles I have posted about before but this is the latest.
As brief as I can
- dh fell out with his dsis after the birth of our dd - we been together for over 5 years before dd arrived his sister didn't make any effort with her- arguments ensued dh cut his dsis out after she became more nasty - shouting, social media threats etc
- his Dm then took dsis really and was giving dh a hard time resulting in her screaming at me when I was heavily pregnant with ds as I had agreed with him that he didn't need to invite his dsis to our wedding if he didn't want to.
- further shit behaviour from his mum towards me and the kids meant I decided to cut her out- e.g. She ignored me on my wedding day, ignored our ds when he was seriously ill in hospital, refused to see dd on xmas day as it would upset dh sis

Anyway dh still sees his mum every few weeks for a visit with our dcs. She doesn't really have any deep relationship with them but she see them nonetheless. We have stayed away from any wider family social gatherings since dh decided to fall out with dais as she said she wouldn't be able to control herself if we were there. Her dd is getting married next year dh wants to go he said to me last night as I'm nc with his mum I shouldn't go but he'll go and take the kids this is bullshit right?! I don't feel comfortable going and there's no way my dc will be going.
Wish dh would have sorted this big mess up before now but I'm seemingly the bad guy to his family sad

sonyaya Wed 15-Feb-17 19:30:38

Your DC still see your MIL so what is the problem? They sound like pretty crappy people but what is it you think will happen to your DC if they go?

ThroughThickAndThin01 Wed 15-Feb-17 19:33:06

If he wants to take his children to his neice(?) wedding, then I think he should.

BarbarianMum Wed 15-Feb-17 19:33:36

I think YABU. Being nc was your choice, not a family one.

PotteringAlong Wed 15-Feb-17 19:37:28

I don't understand why they shouldn't go? They still see them; they're not non-contact. What's the issue?

boolifooli Wed 15-Feb-17 19:38:47

Your dc are not your possessions. They should be able to access family celebrations.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Wed 15-Feb-17 19:42:06

If they see mil that regularly then I can't see why they can't go to the wedding.

rednotpurple Wed 15-Feb-17 20:01:07

Mainly because his dsis never seen our youngest and she is known for 'blowing up' hence why dh finished with her then refused to see her at family events since. So mainly I'm worried something will be said in front of our young dc and I won't be there.
If everything went smoothly and nothing was said I think me not attending plays nicely into his dsis and mil's narrative to rest of family that I'm the bad one who has caused all this aggro (despite the fact that I was encouraging dh to sort it out with his dsis for months prior to mil shouting at me)

rednotpurple Wed 15-Feb-17 20:21:58

It's been a really stressful situation all round

Kirstyallsopptwin Wed 15-Feb-17 20:48:36

Sounds like a complete mess

CinnamonSweet Wed 15-Feb-17 20:56:42

Sounds like a nightmare, tbh if your husband wants to go and see his niece get married he should, and there's no reason why the children shouldn't either, they still see their grandmother there's no reason for them to not go.

I'd personally go together as a family and use this celebration as a way to reconnect as a family and sort this whole sorry mess out? Surely his sister has the self control not to cause an argument on her daughters wedding day.

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