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Or is this normal for a 5year old?

(2 Posts)
Frazzledmum123 Wed 15-Feb-17 07:54:37

Sorry this is a bit long but just to explain properly;

My ds is 5 and was a lot slower to develop his social skills than those around him, at nursery I'd see other kids skipping out hand in hand but he never really had a friend. When he started school I was concerned for him but he definitely got better and started showing interest in others at least although he would still play by himself a lot. He took a shine to a girl in his class and although it was a mutual friendship, she had a best girlfriend and the two of them were inseparable and my ds a bit of a third wheel
Anyway, he started y1 in September and changed completely. Suddenly found his boisterous side and started talking about the same group of boys a lot. I'll be honest I was so relieved, he finally seemed to fit in and was much happier and more confident. In particular he developed a close friendship with one boy and we started having him back to ours after school and Vice Versa. I also got close to the mum and it felt like I finally could stop worrying about him

However, just recently, he's started saying he doesn't want to go back to friends house after school when invited which was embarrassing but we assumed he was tired. Now though, he's saying he doesn't want him at his party despite insisting they haven't fallen out and the other boy isn't mean to him or anything. I don't get it! He seems to work hard at developing a friendship and as soon as it is reciprocated, he drops them! He was the same with the girl last year, as soon as she started searching him out at school, he lost interest. From a selfish point too, it makes it really difficult for me to then have to keep coming up with excuses as to why he doesn't want to meet up when the other kid is clueless as to the fact they are apparently no longer friends!

I know it seems like a small and petty problem but I'm genuinely concerned as to his future happiness at school, people aren't going to want to be friends with him if he just drops them when they do. Or am I just majorly overthinking things for a 5 year old?

user1477282676 Wed 15-Feb-17 11:36:27

It's very normal for them to move through friends and friendship groups when they're this small.

Because of your early concerns, it's natural for you to be a bit anxious. I had similar...however, all you need to do is look at him now...not back then.

He's happy, he's socialising and developing...they have quite a few best friends before they hit 12...and then it all goes upside down again anyway!

Just remain philosophical. If he says he doesn't want to play with someone, then that's fine and up to him as long as you've not made a solid arrangement already and he just wants to duck out last minute...it's important he gets to say if he wants to play with someone or not.

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