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WIBU to tell my Mum her house smells?

(31 Posts)
NoCapes Tue 14-Feb-17 20:08:50

My Mum is amazing - brilliant Grandmother, does absolutely loads for us, I see her almost daily and she genuinely is my best friend
So this isn't anything to do with a bad relationship at all
We go to her house every week for dinner and my children stay over quite often
Only problem is when they/we get home we absolutely stink of grease/cooking/chip fat kind of smell
A few times when she's been to mine or we've been out I can smell it on her/her clothes too
She's a very proud woman and I know she would be utterly horrified to know that she smelled

She has one of those acti-fryer things so I used to think it was that, but a few times recently she hasn't used it and we still smell
She doesn't use her over the cooker fan thingy (the name has completely escaped me) because it's a small kitchen and it's really loud so this could possibly be the problem?

Now my house isn't exactly spotless and we have a dog so I don't know if it's a bit rich coming from me, but I'm certain people leaving my house don't have a lingering smell and I hate to think that anyone thinks my Mum isn't very clean because she really really is
But I don't want to upset her atall and I don't want to seem ungrateful that she provides us a meal every single week because I really am very grateful, hence why I haven't said anything so far
But after another night of having to shower all 3 kids and put all of our clothes including coats and the babies bag through the wash when we got home I'm wondering whether I should I tell her? And how???

Allthebestnamesareused Tue 14-Feb-17 20:15:14

I would bite the bulket and tell her. You do become nose blind to smells in your house. Suggest she uses the cooker extractor fan. It is possible that the filter needs changing (if a charcoal one) or a ehizz through the dishwasher if not. If she does that it may not be so noisy.

Do it along the lines of I would wznt you to tell me if ....

Be prepared for a retaliatory yours smells of dog/cats etc!

foxyloxy78 Tue 14-Feb-17 20:15:16

I would tell her. It's not that big a deal. There's always lots of food sleeps t my mums. Because she cooks lots of yummy food but yes, it does cling to clothes and not great when you get back home. Perhaps if she used the extractor fan and opened a window whilst cooking that would help.

Allthebestnamesareused Tue 14-Feb-17 20:15:35

I would bite the bulket and tell her. You do become nose blind to smells in your house. Suggest she uses the cooker extractor fan. It is possible that the filter needs changing (if a charcoal one) or a ehizz through the dishwasher if not. If she does that it may not be so noisy.

Do it along the lines of I would wznt you to tell me if ....

Be prepared for a retaliatory yours smells of dog/cats etc!

Allthebestnamesareused Tue 14-Feb-17 20:16:00

Agh typos fat fingers on iPhone

Allthebestnamesareused Tue 14-Feb-17 20:16:32

Agh typos fat fingers on iPhone

GrannyGoggles Tue 14-Feb-17 20:18:47

No, my dear, you do not tell her she's smelly. Not if you want to have an ongoing happy relationship. You suck it up. The most you could do is have a general chat about the difficulties of cooking smells lingering and what her strategies are.

Treewall Tue 14-Feb-17 20:21:58

My Mum's house occasionally smells of dog, and I always mention it if it does. I see it as a kindness - I'm sure she'd rather I told her than have one of her friends mention it.
However I used to have a sort of friend whose house stunk - just general stale air and mildew from no windows open and laundry drying inside. I didn't feel I knew her well enough to say anything although I would have had she asked.

BrowsOnFleek Tue 14-Feb-17 20:23:35

Yanbu. I'd tell her.
My MILs house always stinks of cooking, I have to wash my coat etc when I've been round and it's a massive pain in the arse. I think it's an old cooker. Just say you had to wash the coats etc when you got back as you could notice a smell of grease. Personally I'd want to know. I can't stand the smell of stale cooking on people!

NoCapes Tue 14-Feb-17 20:25:58

Extractor fan! That's the word grin
Didn't know that cleaning/changing the filter might make it quieter, thanks for that info

She does tell me if she comes to my house and can smell the dog to be fair, and I just have a Hoover/open a window, don't take offense at all so I could use that as an example of and when I tell her

Granny I wouldn't tell her she's smelly hmm it's not that she smells, and she genuinely cleans her house more than anyone I know so she's not unclean, it's just cooking smells

Trollspoopglitter Tue 14-Feb-17 20:26:14

so you think grease just lingers in the air and attaches itself to clothes during brief visits? As a teenager, I worked at a fast food chain. I didn't smell of chip fat.

Sounds like your mum's place is dirty, and the grease is attaching itself to something else. Are you sending your kids in clean clothes?

Notrevealingmyidentity Tue 14-Feb-17 20:26:24

Ofcourse tell her !

God I'd want someone to tell me however embarrassed I would be ! I'd die thinking someone could have just said something instead of having loads of people think I was smelly and didn't care sad.

bunnylove99 Tue 14-Feb-17 20:26:34

OP. You could speak to her but it might not dlove the issue. We've had the exact same problem for years. My parents fry everything and hardly ever open a window. I didn’t mind us all having to change/wash etc after visiting but taking DM out places with her coat stinking of chip fat was too much. I politely told her and things are a little bit better... but everything is still be honest I think my mum thinks I exaggerated the problem and they don't smell it themselves.

IsitJustFantasy Tue 14-Feb-17 20:27:04

Rather than telling her it's always smelled bad, maybe you could just say "Oh it smells a bit in here today. Have you been using your fryer today?" Well I think if it was my mum she'd be upset if I said it always stank but if I made out I'd just noticed it she could deal with it and feel less embarrassed. (I hope this makes sense.)

NoCapes Tue 14-Feb-17 20:31:34

Trolls no obviously the doesn't linger in the air and attaches itself to us magically - it attaches itself to us when she's cooking! Obviously hmm

NoCapes Tue 14-Feb-17 20:32:35

Fantasy I have tried that one once or twice but I just get "I know I need to clean the fryer/just cooked bacon isn't it annoying etc etc" and we smell again the next week

Ladybirdbookworm Tue 14-Feb-17 20:33:02

The smell of food cooking definitely does attach itself to clothes.
I used to work in a chip shop as a teenager and my Mam used to make me undress in the kitchen as soon as I got in from work .
I still stunk though as it stuck to my hair

TheMysteriousJackelope Tue 14-Feb-17 20:47:11

You know she would be mortified to go around smelling of chip fat so it would be kind to tell her.

As you posted, you are not saying 'she's, you're pointing out that her kitchen ventilation isn't sufficient. When you are talking to her ask her why she doesn't use it. If it is the noise and that can't be fixed, look into getting her a new one.

Allthebestnamesareused Tue 14-Feb-17 20:48:18

Trolls I hate to break it to you but you probably did but you too had become noise blind to it.

Disclaimer: I worked in KFC as a teen too!

Degustibusnonestdisputandem Tue 14-Feb-17 20:48:26

Ooh yes, I used to reek after returning from a McDonald's shift while at uni!

maddiemookins16mum Tue 14-Feb-17 20:56:13

Every other week at work we'd go "to the caff" for lunch (egg and chips etc). We always smelled on return as there was no ventilation at all.

IsitJustFantasy Tue 14-Feb-17 21:01:35

I can imagine the smell. When I used to see my dad my clothes would always come out reeking of cooking oil and cigerette smoke.

Trollspoopglitter Tue 14-Feb-17 21:09:00

You really don't need to break it to me at all. :-). It didn't attach to my uniform. Maybe just hygiene, eh?

NotAMammy Tue 14-Feb-17 21:17:16

trolls if you spent any time in the kitchen, you smelt of chip grease, you just might not have smelt it.

OP, tell your mum. I'd want to know, especially if I was smelling out and about. If she has a dishwasher, say about how easy it is to clean the filter in the dishwasher (I only found this out recently myself) If she doesn't have a dishwasher and you do, offer to put the filters through yours. Cleaning our filter is my absolute least favourite thing in the world. Maybe mention that you noticed the smell lingering these last few visits even when she wasn't cooking?

FireInTheHead Tue 14-Feb-17 21:24:24

Trolls You must be the only person ever to work in a food!environment and not have your clothes and hair absorb the cooking food smells. I'm in awe of your hygienic and unsmelly Superpowers.
I showered every night after work, wore clean uniform every day - what was I missing?

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