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To ponder what age you leave your children at the table

(27 Posts)
fuckwitery Tue 14-Feb-17 12:47:04

When you go to the loo in a restaurant?

Just that really.

formerbabe Tue 14-Feb-17 12:52:17

Mine are 8 and 6 and I still don't if I'm out alone with them.

yikesanotherbooboo Tue 14-Feb-17 13:04:18

I think this depends hugely on where you are and the personalities of your children. E.g. Sensible DD1 in familiar and quiet cafe... happy getting in with her drawing and brace enough to speak to strangers might be 6 or 7 but anxious DS2 was sticking to me like glue and would have hated being left anywhere until he was about 11. Busy pret / Wagamama type place I think probably 10 or so but as above personality would be main issue. You can't really expect under 7 or 8 year olds to decision make .

No1blueengine Tue 14-Feb-17 13:04:27

My DC are 3, 5 & 7. The 5 & 7 y/o stay at the table. The 3Y/O comes with me.

They are sensible girls though and stick together. Some of their friends though i wouldn't trust to stay put at all.

yikesanotherbooboo Tue 14-Feb-17 13:05:02

Brave not brace among other typos

DaisyQueen Tue 14-Feb-17 13:07:45

I would leave my nearly 6 year old but I would probably announce slightly louder than normal that she isn't to move and where I am going just to make more people aware of her.

BarbarianMum Tue 14-Feb-17 13:08:12

When they were 6 and 4 in a normal restaurant - this was the age they started going to the loo together without me , 8 if it was something like the food area of a Mall.

fuckwitery Tue 14-Feb-17 22:02:20

I left DS 7 and his friend today. First time. Felt right but wasn't sure if I was being a bit U. Thanks all. Seems I'm not too far off track.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic Tue 14-Feb-17 22:19:49

DS1 was 4 when I started toilet training DS2. The cafe we used most was a supermarket cafe where we were known to staff, and DS1 is a very sensible, rule abiding child who is very highly motivated about eating his food. I'd let a staff member know that we were going and to keep an eye on him. The toilets were close by.

Otherwise it meant still having to inform staff that we were still using the table, then craming all of us plus bags etc into the toilets.

DS1 was much happier at being left to eat!

DS2 on the other hand... Maybe he'll be sensible enough by 16 grin

HarryPottersMagicWand Tue 14-Feb-17 22:22:11

I'd leave my 9 year old but not my 6 year old, she wouldn't want me to anyway.

Winterbelle Tue 14-Feb-17 22:25:34

8 apparently in my mind. Left my 7&9 yr olds together today. If I'd only had the 7 yr old I'd have taken her with me. If I'd have just had the 9 yr old I still would have left him!

Crunchymum Tue 14-Feb-17 22:32:14

God I sometimes sit my 4yo at a table and queue up to get our food / hot choccies (out of eye shot!!) in Pret / Costa. Although he is very sensible and 'risk averse'. I doubt I'll ever be able to leave the other child like this - at any age grin

foxessocks Tue 14-Feb-17 22:36:45

This made me smile just because today I had to leave my table at a cafe twice because my 3 yo wanted a wee and then she wanted a poo!! My coffee got cold, I had to take the baby with me obviously but left the buggy so people knew I was coming back. I'm looking forward to when she can go to the loo by herself let alone me going by myself!! That's a long way off though. Joys of having little children smile

Ameliablue Tue 14-Feb-17 22:42:37

Probably from about age 5 but somewhere we are comfortable

allowlsthinkalot Tue 14-Feb-17 22:46:33

I leave my 9, 7 and 4 year olds but wouldn't leave the 4 year old if my older two weren't there. I take the two year old with me.

I think they were 7 and 5 when I first left them at the table while I popped to the loo.

Iggi999 Tue 14-Feb-17 22:48:57

This just never happens. It is always them wanting the loo not me, usually in a relay.

megletthesecond Tue 14-Feb-17 22:51:14

I've been doing it for a couple of years, so they were probably 8 & 6. Locally we go to the same three restaurants and usually in quiet periods so I was ok taking the risk and dashing off for a couple of minutes while they coloured. I'm a lp so didn't have much choice.

ANameToHide Tue 14-Feb-17 23:26:11

I think it depends on the child rather than the age.

Dd was about five or six iirc but I wouldn't have left my six year old neice as she'd be up and wandering everywhere.

DDs is in y7 now and im friends with a mum if a boy in her class, she was telling me she can't trust her same aged son to behave and it limits what she can do, she needed to go shopping for a specific item of clothing and had to take a day off work to do so. She'd have preferred to leave him at home for an hour or two but didn't trust him, he rifles through her things and has stolen card details in the past and used them to access porn.

She would need to try clothes on and knows he wouldn't behave and wait outside changing room, and she couldn't take him in as he's way too old and she knows he'd try to peep round curtains to look at the women anyway so booked a day off so she could do it while he was at school.

MLGs Tue 14-Feb-17 23:58:56

I would leave DD (8). I probably would have left her when 7 too but can't remember exactly what time a starting thinking this was OK.

Bahh Wed 15-Feb-17 00:10:31

SD is 6 and will go to loo on her own. I've never been in a position where I have needed to leave her to go to the loo but my gut feel is no. Too long out of eyeshot just in case.

I would queue up or something and leave her at the table though.

ShelaghTurner Wed 15-Feb-17 00:14:35

I've never left mine. Although my mother says I'm a camel so the likelihood of me needing the loo when they don't is slim to none!

Camelsinthegobi Wed 15-Feb-17 03:17:03

Anametohide that is very worrying behaviour indeed from an 11 year old. Is she seeking professional help for it?

SomethingBorrowed Wed 15-Feb-17 15:08:17

Just left my 3yo this morning blush
I was in a café with 3yo DTs, both needed the loo. Small café, loo was accessed directly from the main room (not a toilet area with several stalls), not big enough to fit me and the 2 DC together. There were only 2 other customers there, very quiet place.
I just went with one DC while the other waited in a highchair, then repeat with the other one.

fuckwitery Fri 17-Feb-17 08:33:43

Iggi999 so do you leave one child alone whilst you take the other?

Iggi999 Fri 17-Feb-17 10:58:45

One is 9 so he can stay easily enough but the younger one will accompany me on any trip whether he needs to go or not. I think he thinks I get up to all sorts mumsnetting if left alone for a few minutes.

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