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Husbands day off and he's buggered off

(123 Posts)
riojaandcorrie Tue 14-Feb-17 10:24:28

We're off for half term and it's DHs day off. We'd talked yesterday, about him taking kids swimming in the morning so I could get shopping, pick up prescriptions, walk dogs. This morning I said to him about swimming and he said why can't you go, I said about shopping etc and he said, "you should take them shopping if you want them to be better people" (whatever the f&£@ that means). He then said bye to the kids and buggered off.

I'm with the kids 24/7, I work when the kids are at school (I do school run). I do all the runs to clubs etc after school sand evenings. He is always telling me off about parenting. You're too soft on her, that sort of thing and he goes on the piss for days at a time leaving me with everything. AIBU

timeforheroes Tue 14-Feb-17 10:27:07

You know you're not BU. What do you mean by goes on the piss for days? Are these planned or he just goes to the pub and doesn't come back for days? He sounds like a selfish bastard.

elQuintoConyo Tue 14-Feb-17 10:30:44

Oh dear, what a joy-sucking responsibilty-dodging arse.

Nothing constructive to add, sorry. Is he always this selfish?

user892 Tue 14-Feb-17 10:31:24

Ditch him.

Rugbyplayersarehot Tue 14-Feb-17 10:34:37

Where has he gone?

HarmlessChap Tue 14-Feb-17 10:38:09

Nope even as a bloke I can not defend his actions there......

Actually with it being his day off I'd be more inclined to say why are you not all doing something as a family, even if its simply taking the dogs out together.

Trifleorbust Tue 14-Feb-17 10:38:12

Huh? So you're a lone parent then? Do the same to him when he gets back. I don't want to rush into LTB based on so little information. You may not even be looking for people to comment. But if you are, how is your relationship otherwise?

Alaia5 Tue 14-Feb-17 10:39:04

Eh? What do you mean when you say he goes on the piss for days? Where does he sleep?
What is he talking about, do you think, with that comment, "if you want them to be better people." Very odd.
Also it's Valentines Day so he should be treating you to something at least.
If my DH disappeared drunk for days I would just see that he has made a choice to go his own way and not let him back in the house.

Trifleorbust Tue 14-Feb-17 10:39:07

Sorry I missed he goes off on the piss and basically leaves you to do everything. What is the point of him again?

Fairenuff Tue 14-Feb-17 10:40:13

Ok. So, where has he gone? confused

Chloe84 Tue 14-Feb-17 10:43:14

Tell him to get lost for good.

Rugbyplayersarehot Tue 14-Feb-17 10:43:34

Yep if dh went off in the piss for days I would take that as a separation and change the locks.

MouseLove Tue 14-Feb-17 10:45:30

Keeping my fingers crossed that he's off out planning you a lovely Valentine's Day?? If you come home and the house is covered in rose petals, then win!! If not, maybe tell him he needs to shape up or ship out.

LotsOfAxolotlsAndOcelots Tue 14-Feb-17 10:46:07

What Rugby said. Exactly what Rugby said. Exactly.

MerryMarigold Tue 14-Feb-17 10:48:22

You need to fight back my dear

Willow2016 Tue 14-Feb-17 10:49:34

Why exactly is he still there if he has no respect for you, couldnt care less about spending time with his kids and go on the piss for days on end?

What does he contribute to the family?

Sounds like you would all be better off without him. JMHO.

BeIIatrixLeStrange Tue 14-Feb-17 10:55:05

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BeIIatrixLeStrange Tue 14-Feb-17 10:55:31

Coming on MN to bleat to a bunch of strangers isn't going to change your life. Fucking him off, will

Lottie4 Tue 14-Feb-17 11:04:47

I'd understand if it's his day off and he wanted a couple of hours 'me' time or time to catch up on things with others, but that doesn't seem to be the case as he'd have said.

If he really thinks you're too soft on your DC, then he should be stepping in a bit more to give them the right balance.

Half of me would be tempted to take DC swimming and leave the food shop, but I guess you wouldn't do that as that'll mean no food in the house. In reality, I'd take the dogs for a short(ish) walk with DC. If you have a car take DC swimming,drive out somewhere nice after and treat you both to a nice lunch and get shopping later on. If he's on the piss he won't notice you've had a nice treat, if he comes back then he's going to wonder why you're out so late and might feel put out he's missed out on a treat. By the way, if money permits after the lunch, treat yourself to something nice and simple to eat tonight and some flowers or choccies if he hasn't noticed the date.

Cakingbad Tue 14-Feb-17 11:08:09

Do you love him? If not, get a divorce.

MPerspective Tue 14-Feb-17 11:08:23

These actions are not that of a man who loves you and cares about you.

So know that.

Talk to him. Tell him how you feel - take it from there....

Trifleorbust Tue 14-Feb-17 11:10:32

In reality, I'd take the dogs for a short(ish) walk with DC. If you have a car take DC swimming,drive out somewhere nice after and treat you both to a nice lunch and get shopping later on.

Is it just me, or does that rather sound like OP doing everything herself??

I get why you think this all sounds 'nice' but to me it sounds like fucking hard work!

Trifleorbust Tue 14-Feb-17 11:11:44


Because it is cathartic.

You sound like a dick too.

Lespritdelsietanner Tue 14-Feb-17 11:16:22

What a well thought out and amazingly helpful response Bellatrix. Women with arsehole DH's should just deal with the problem quietly at home and stop bothering the rest of us with their pointless blether. Genius. I don't know why we need Mumsnet at all.

Viviennemary Tue 14-Feb-17 11:16:25

I think he is entitled to his day off if you don't work. Honestly, who'd be a man.

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