Could they have been stolen?(71 Posts)
This is so weird and there are a couple scenarios, as far fetched and unreasonable as each other. A huge chunk of my OH clothes have gone missing. Nowhere to be found. All have been worn in the last few weeks. Gone missing are 5 pairs of jeans, 3 designer sweaters a couple of t shirts and some new shoes.
When clothes are dirty they go in the washing basket, this is taken downstairs to utility room twice a week, washed, dried and folded (I don't iron, just as it's needed). The folded clothes are then put into baskets or bags (big ikea blue bags, great for washing!) and taken to each persons room for putting away. We have been through every inch of the house and they are nowhere to be found. I was expecting to find a bag with everything in it and mystery solved. But literally they are nowhere in the house. So the logical conclusion is they are not in the house. But how? The possibilities are
A) someone has hidden them for a joke. But who and not really funny
B) they have been stolen. We are having work done in the house and have had 3 people in the house. My brother does the electrics. It's not him definitely. A plumber came around we have known for many years. It's not him. The builder has been here for 2 weeks now. I don't know him, he is a friend of a guy OH works with. Could be him but I dont understand why? The jumpers are new at Christmas but the jeans are old and frankly tatty. And OH is a big guy and none of the clothes would fit any of the people. I'm wondering if the builder could be doing it as a joke. (OH and his friend are on a weight loss programme together, maybe it's a lad banter thing?) None of my stuff has gone and there is cash in the house that hasn't been touched. Just XXL second hand clothes. . Do I approach this with the builder and if so how? It is driving me insane as all of the clothes have been worn up to about 2 weeks ago.
Would the shoes have been in the same bag as the washing?
Who else lives in the house? i.e. if you have a teenager, maybe it has ended up in their room as they thought it was theirs and got lost under some other stuff?
The shoes will have been in or around the under stairs cupboard which is opposite the washing room. They could have been put in a bag to go upstairs at a push (I sometimes put the kids shoes in their washing bags if they are getting to all being downstairs instead of in their rooms). It's a possibility but I couldn't say for sure either way. We haven't been to charity shop with anything and definitely not binned. I know this as we have applied for a second bin from the council. The process involves them checking how much waste we produce so the last few weeks I have been ensuring that the rubbish is separated correctly into recycling etc.
I've searched all the rooms, wardrobes, divan bed drawers. Every single inch of the house in fact. They are not here.
Maybe the builders took them thinking that the IKEA bag was full of tools?
No undies or toiletries. Weirdly
The builder when he started was just helping himself to tea. I was a bit but then thought I don't want to be making him brews all day so let it slip. But I have a set of very expensive mugs and they are not really for builders. He was using them so I thought rather than be rude I will just put them out of the way in another cupboard for the next day. I went to put them away and could only
Find 3 of the 4, so the next day I said to him "have you accidentally taken one of my
Grey mugs in your van yesterday?" He said no, but the next day it turned up. I didn't think much of it at the time but now I'm hmmm?!
Could they have been shoved into a "safe place"? Back of a cupboard, shed, even the attic?
Could your oh be trying to move out without you noticing?
Recheck everything and make no assumptions. Speak to everyone who has been in the house. Somebody knows something.
And put your nice cups well away from them - Second Rule of having workmen. First Rule is they wont respect anything in your house. That includes you. <sigh>
I can see why your suspicions would lie with the builder, but that's a really difficult conversation to have. I think I would make sure that the builder was in ear shot and "discuss" the clothes disappearance with OH or someone on the phone. If it is him this will make him realise that you are on to it. He certainly wouldn't then take anything else. If they don't return, I think you need to accept that they're gone. I don't think you could ask him outright.
Similar happened to my mum. Two tops went missing. She lived alone in a tiny flat. Never been found. Only possible explanation is she was sorting things for charity and accidently bundled them up with charity things.
When you take away the impossible you are left with what happened. In this case someone has taken them out of the house for reasons unknown.
Greenfolder that is where I am at. It seems ridiculous but that is the only possibility now. Builder is due anytime now and I don't know what to say, if anything.
Maybe your husband didn't like them and secretly binned them?
And put your nice cups well away from them - Second Rule of having workmen. First Rule is they wont respect anything in your house. That includes you
What complete bollocks
I've lost a pair of trainers, jeans, gym bottoms, numerous vest tops.. Never reappeared. No one could have taken them. I think the washing machine must eat them.
I wasn't going to mention it, but MichaelAngel0 has already said it.
When some of SBXHs clothes went missing, they were at the OWs house, he was pretending to her that he was moving in with her.
I would say. " I know this sounds a bit mad but have you seen/ moved an ikea bag last week? Can't find it for love nor money!"
I think I'd have to ask really.
Many years ago I was a claims inspector for an insurance company and went to visit someone who had had 12 bottles of expensive champagne stolen from a kitchen cupboard. They lived in a cul de sac in a village. Doors were locked always and there was always someone in. Nobody knew it existed (bought for a surprise party) and if you were looking for booze you would not have gone into the back of a kitchen cupboard. 12 bottles of champagne is not sneak thief territory. I had no doubts it was a genuine claim but even I ponder it every now and again years later!
Could someone have come into the house and taken them? If any of the people working on your house have been in and out to vans leaving doors open it's just possible some random person has wandered in and stolen the clothes.
When the builder come just ask him if he moved a bag of your DH’s clothes as you can’t find them? Keep it nonchalant like they are mislaid rather than stolen and see how he reacts?
Once my XH (before we split obviously) accused me of losing his best smart-casual stuff - jumper, shirt, chinos etc. He was quite snotty about it and said that as I did the washing who else could have done it.
I searched everywhere - as you have - and eventually listed the places I had looked and asked him where else he though they could be or did he think the washing machine ate them?
He was still on his high horse - until he found them in the boot of his car. He had forgotten he had gone bowling after work and had taken them to change into (don't know why they were in the boot and not his work clothes though).
Of course when it transpired it was HIS fault, the whole thing was an amusing but understandable oversight <chortle> rather than the hanging offence it was when I couldn't find them - arse.
Sorry - all that was in order to ask - have you checked your car(s)?
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