To call in sick?

[DreamCloud99]

Background:
I have ME.
I work part time in retail (travel agent)

I've recently had an informal meeting about my sickness (odd days here and there related to ME as well as a three month absence related to my ME).

I have 5 year old twins.

I've been poorly constantly since November with chest infections , viral illnesses , water infections etc all related to ME and how run down I am.

I've dragged myself in to work throughout (I had one day where I just couldn't ).

Today I'm very weak , I have a very sore throat and chest , I haven't eaten since yesterday lunch time as I'm so so exhausted . I've also got cystitis and an aching back due to all the coughing . I feel nauseous.

I have to drop the twins off at school - a 40 minute drive through traffic , then drive to work which is another 30 minutes away.

I just can't face it

I've zero energy and I'm aching from head to toe .

I'll be in trouble if I call in sick.
We are short on staff today due to a training day.

But I'm in tears as I feel so bad.

I don't know what to do ?

[Fighterofthenightman]

Call in sick if you feel that unwell. But you have had a lot of time off so yes you'll probably go to the next stage of the sickness policy. Not much you can do if you're ill though.

[Idratherbeaunicorn]

Hi OP
Sorry you're feeling so ill :(
I would call in sick. I know that is tricky with work being short staffed, and also with your history of illness and your recent meeting but your health is more important. One day off today to recouporate is surely better than needing to take a week off further down the line when you make yourself even more ill?

I hope you feel better soon.

[Lilaclily]

Yes I would call in sick

Where I work you'd be referred to occupational health which won't be a problem as hopefully they'll be supportive

Could twins dad take them to school so you can rest if he's around?

[TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross]

If you're sick, you're sick and need to call in. But if you have just had an informal meeting about your absence, this could well bump it up to a more formal one. Not much you can do though.

[peukpokicuzo]

Your first priority is obviously your children.
After that, before your job, you have to prioritise your health.

You are ill. Dragging yourself in will make you more ill. Stay at home.

As pp said you may trigger the next stage of the work sickness absence policy. That isn't something you can prevent by dragging yourself in today, you would just make the eventual crash even harder.

Would your work accept a flexible working plan with reduced hours where you could get your work done on your good days and rest on bad days without scheduling in advance or is it not that sort of job? If not, could you consider changing jobs to something that is closer to home and more compatible with that sort of arrangement?

[Crumbs1]

I'd be tempted to,take some Paracetamol and go in. You might feel better when you get up and get going. Lying around in bed isn't actually going to make you feel better.

[omnishamblesssssssssssssss]

Have something to eat and see how you are in 10 mins

If you don't go today, go see your GP

[omnishamblesssssssssssssss]

It might be better to go in and be sent back.

[omnishamblesssssssssssssss]

It's too far actually

[user1484226561]

Today I'm very weak , I have a very sore throat and chest , I haven't eaten since yesterday lunch time as I'm so so exhausted . I've also got cystitis and an aching back due to all the coughing . I feel nauseous.

none of this would actually be a normal reason to miss work. I would suggest not going to work as you clearly find it hard to cope with. It is likely that you would be disciplined, and you are risking losing your job. You might feel that it is the best option for you, rather than carrying on working in a job which by your description is making you miserable.

[VintagePerfumista]

You sound sick enough to me. (and I am very sniffy about 99% of the "shall I call in sick" threads on here)

BUT, you know you're already pushing it with your sick leave and you said you know this will push them onto the next step I guess, it's not your fault, and there's nothing anyone can do, but in the same way it's not right for you to work when you're ill, the company has the right to have their work done.

[DreamCloud99]

I am very worried about getting to the next stage of sickness.

I've taken paracetamol.

crumbs1 Lying around in bed is sometimes a necessity with ME - I have no energy and no amount of painkillers or getting going will replace that energy .

(That's not an arsey response honest - I'm just trying to explain how bad ME is )

[Happinessisthis]

Fwiw, I am dragging myself in today with a chest infection (holiday club, lots of interaction and constantly on my feet.)
I feel your pain OP. Can you take some painkillers and see how you feel.
Have you got a partner who can help with the kids? I assumed it was half term for most of the uk but I guess not!

At least you can sit down at your desk most of the day? Take some lemsip

[Whatthefreakinwhatnow]

If you are dismissed for medical inefficiency, do you have savings etc to tide you over? If you've had a lot of time off I'm not sure your compensation will be much- I'm a civil servant and it's usually a months pay for every years service, but a percentage is deducted based on amount of absence etc.

I'm not being goady, just wondering if you'll be ok if you are let go.

I have a chronic illness and it can be hard with work and the kids etc but I can't afford to be off unless I'm hospitalised as the Equalities Act can only help you so far, I would certainly be dismissed even though I have a registered disability, and rightly so. A business is a business at the end of the day, so if I'm not up to it I should be let go.

[DreamCloud99]

user1484 my job doesn't make me miserable - I quite like it .

The constant illness is making me miserable - it's very difficult living with ME .

If I just had the cystitis and aching back etc I would go in , but I am very very weak due to the illnesses and having ME .

My ME is one of the reasons I constantly have these infections .

[Toxicity]

OP sorry about a couple of the responses you have received here, some people just don't have any knowledge of ME.

A day in bed today might save you from a longer absence as you don't sound good today. Sorry you are going through this.

[Sah1987]

I think you'll find ME is covered by disability act, and employers need to be more lenient.
So if a member of staff without a disability gets 4 absences before they're disciplined you will have more than that - if you can't face going in then don't. Your employer won't be able to fire you if it's ME related, if in a years period you've had less than 10 individual absences. But obviously I don't know your absence policy, however I'm a manager for a large (strict on absence) hardware retailer with over 50,000 employees and we certainly wouldn't fire someone with ME without first going through Occupational health etc x,

[aliceinwanderland]

I would call in sick. Only you know whether or not you're well enough to go in.

Are there any opportunities for remote working, even different tasks? I have a similar intermittent health problem and I now have a spare laptop at home so I can be flexible about where I work. I think this sounds like a disability under the legislation and if it is work have to make reasonable adjustments.

[JanuaryMoods]

If you think your job may be in peril if you don't go in then drag yourself there and hope they send you home.

[takemetomars]

ME is classed as a disability under the Equality Act which means that your employer has to make reasonable adjustments for you to be able to work. You may have already been through this with them but if you haven't you need to start discussing this with them seriously.
My experience with CFS/ME is that most people cannot work with this as it is so difficult to predict relapses/plan rest, especially if you also have children to deal with. If your employer is prepared to be flexible, you may be able to make this work but expect resentment from colleagues.

[Fighterofthenightman]

Under the equality act they should make reasonable adjustments and that may include being a little more flexible around sickness. But OP has had a few days here and there and a three month period of sick. The equality act only goes so far and I've known people with disabilities be fired for having too much sickness after all the appropriate sickness/occupational health stuff has been followed.

[Minimincepies]

My sympathies, ME is a shocker of an illness and very often misunderstood or minimised, when the symptoms can be extremely debilitating. You're a hero for coping with that at the same time as raising twins - no wonder you're on your knees. How much support do you have? If you do progress to the next stage of the sickness process then is there anything work could do to support you better? Could you request flexible working eg. finish at lunchtime two days a week so you can go to bed for the afternoon (if you can afford it)? That might help with managing the ME long term and mean your immune system has a better chance of fighting off viruses and infections so less sickness overall? Hope you feel better soon.

[Minimincepies]

Sorry, just realised you're already part time so that's no help!

[ILikeBeansWithKetchup]

I know I am missing the point of the thread a bit but why are your twins at a school 40 mins drive away? Doesn't this just add to the whole stress of your day, especially if work is a further 30 mins? I can understand if you are feeling rough that the whole getting to school and work bit makes you feel worse!
Theses company sickness policies are certainly brutal but no point guilt tripping yourself if you feel ill.

[peukpokicuzo]

Reasonable adjustments would cover agreeing to a flexible work schedule that is compatible with unpredictable work capability but no employer is obliged to keep employing indefinitely someone who actually can't do the job for which they are being paid.