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Old friends

7 replies

Queenofthesilverdollar · 12/02/2017 21:56

Ok I just need a sense check. I trained as a nurse many years ago and made some lifelong friends, particularly two others. Over the years the others have been v distant to each other and I have been the connection, not due to any friction just due to different lives and expectations.

Over the last couple of years the others have become more friendly, their husbands (of more than 20 years each) have become v friendly recently - shared interest which my husband doesn't.

I have been away this weekend with DS and Dh and had a lovely time. I am sure that the others have all been together at one couples house but haven't mentioned it to me. In a way I think why should they and we were away anyway but it all feels deliberately cloak and dagger .... no usual messaging on FB. No reply to my text sent before I twigged. They often have weekends together but can never make weekends at mine.

My brain is saying your to,old for all this, they can see who they like when they like. But if I'm honest I feel very hurt

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Magzmarsh · 12/02/2017 22:20

Sorry you feel hurt but you can't script or direct friendship. Make new and different friends and rely less on old ones. It happens op, you can't control your friends relationships.

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Queenofthesilverdollar · 12/02/2017 22:27

I know just need to put the hurt out there! Been there for both of them at v difficult times, need support at mo and not there from them. As you say Onwards and upwards.

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Magzmarsh · 12/02/2017 22:29

It sucks op but you need to move on. They're not bad people, they're just not right for you anymore.

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SalmonFajitas · 12/02/2017 22:53

What you're feeling is totally natural. Allow yourself a little time to feel hurt then move on. There really is no point dwelling - you have a wonderful family and I'm sure other friends. Friendships do wane and change over time so I'm sure it's not personal.

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Queenofthesilverdollar · 13/02/2017 07:26

Thanks all xx

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wundringnow · 13/02/2017 23:35

I find these things very hard. It's amazing how you can suddenly feel 14 again when friends seem to be excluding you.

It can get me down for days!

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Queenofthesilverdollar · 14/02/2017 20:27

So now I have had a whole text thread about how much they missed me, do I want to go for a drink tomorrow blah, blah blah. Only consolation is it's so juvenile I'm thinking FFS