Not been paid - AIBU to write a letter or go round there?

[Ouisophie]

A couple of weeks ago I had a response to an advert I had put on Facebook marketplace selling a pair of vintage rollerskates. The man asked if I could post them as he lives an hour away and I said I would look into a courier as they are extremely heavy and so sending them by Royal mail would be very expensive. Hermes was a lot cheaper than Royal mail however I don't have a printer so couldn't print out the label - I asked him if he could hang on a couple of days to give me chance to go to my mum's and use the printer there. He said that was fine as long as he got them early February because they were a present for his wife. For one reason after another I didn't have chance to go to my mum's so I ended up going to the post office and sending them by Parcelforce for over £11 (but didn't charge him any extra as I had said that I would send it by courier) so I actually ended up sending them before he'd paid me to save another trip into town... stupid in hindsight but we'd communicated a fair bit and he'd seemed very nice and had offered to pay before but I told him to hang on until I had the final price from Hermes. I then messaged him to tell him that I had sent the skates, and he responded and said that he had done a bank transfer. It was still not showing in my account over the next few days so I messaged him a few times to let him know. He came back and said it was a business account therefore it would take three working days from that point. That was nearly 2 weeks ago, the payment is still not in my account and he's stopped opening my Facebook messages. I have messaged him to say that I'm happy to provide evidence that it's not gone into my account, and could he re-check the sort code and account number because he may have put the wrong number in. Anyway as I said he's not even answering or reading my messages now so what should I do? I've got his address obviously because I sent him the skates so would it be reasonable to send a letter? I don't actually think he's deliberately not paid me, I think there's just been some kind of mixup (maybe the payment was returned or something?) and if he looked into it then he would see that. But he's not even reading my messages. It might sound a bit pathetic but i'm a single parent and £25 is a lot of money to me and I already paid out over £11 sending the bloody things!

[Ouisophie]

Sorry for the lack of paragraphs

[harderandharder2breathe]

You were stupid to send them before payment. You know that now and won't make that mistake again.

Yanbu to think people should pay for something but yabu to trust them to when they're complete strangers.

Not sure there's anything you can do really, sorry

[Ouisophie]

I know, I know, I just thought because he knew I had his full name and address then he wouldn't try not to pay me. And I still don't think it is deliberate, I just think he thinks because it's left his account then I must have been paid and to not bother reading my messages any more. As I said I'm sure he must've paid the wrong person or the payment's been returned

[Ouisophie]

So I shouldn't write a letter?

[GinIsIn]

Why on earth would you send something before you got payment?!

[kissmethere]

Learn from it. I don't know where you stand legally but it could be classed as theft. 2 weeks is a long time for it not to show up. It's too long.

[BadKnee]

I would write the letter. Ask for the money you are owed. Enclose copies / screenshots of the agreement to pay and the delivery note. If you don't hear say that you will take it further.

[tatty1010]

I'm sorry but I think you are being very naïve to believe he 'thinks' he has paid you.
I really don't understand why anyone would send something to a stranger before payment has been made. You could send a letter but I think he will just ignore you like he has been doing. Unfortunately this situation may just have to be a lesson learnt for you in future. Its shit for you OP

[Ouisophie]

Fenella he said he needed them asap and I'd promised to send them by courier once I'd been to my mum's on a certain date then wasn't able to, so went to the post office near me, then just sent them to avoid having to go back again. I know now that I should have waited but I was trying to do the right thing by him!

[Ouisophie]

Ok well yes obviously I'm a trusting idiot but I've got his name and address! I wouldn't risk not paying someone who had my details!

[TalkingofMichaelAngel0]

why do you think writing a letter will help?!

[NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom]

No he doesn't think he's paid you, he knows he hasn't which is why he's ignoring you & not opening your messages.
Pretty daft to send them before payment but you know that so lesson learned.

[Bahh]

I think for such a small amount (not to a lot of people but in the grand scheme of things), cut your losses and learn a lesson. Sadly people are not always genuine.

[Trainspotting1984]

I wouldn't write a letter- how does that differ from the messages and emails you've been sending?

I would go round there and sort it out

[LagunaBubbles]

I don't actually think he's deliberately not paid me, I think there's just been some kind of mixup (maybe the payment was returned or something?)

Of course hes deliberately not paying you, you cant be that naive surely?

[Ouisophie]

I thought writing a letter might help because he's not opened my messages saying that the payment still hasn't gone in - he says the payment has left his account so if that IS the case then he has no reason to think he's not paid me. So if I can get him to check, then he'll see the mistake if there is one.

[Ouisophie]

I don't think you're listening to my reasons for thinking it might be a genuine mix up, you just want to call me stupid. Fine.

[LagunaBubbles]

Hes not openign your messages because he knows what they will say, and now he has the goods he has no intention of paying you.

[Ouisophie]

I didn't ask 'have I been stupid?' I asked if IWBU to send a letter or go round

[TalkingofMichaelAngel0]

Go round. Take someone with you. If he won't open your messages a letter will go straight in the bin. Your reasons for assuming it is a grnuine mistake dont make
Sense.

[Happinessisthis]

Telling the OP she shouldn't have sent them before payment is not useful. It's been done. She's asking for advice on how to rectify it.

Op I would gather all correspondence you have and explain that you won't be letting this go. It is theft and perhaps ask for them back if he isn't willing to pay.

I hope you get it sorted

[Magzmarsh]

You're going to have to chalk this one up to experience op, I very much doubt you'll ever see the money and sending a letter will not change anything, no idea why you would think it would.

[Schwifty]

Go round with someone and try PayPal in future, it's not perfect but you have more protection. Good luck OP!

[Ouisophie]

I'm not going to bother posting on here again, people here just seem to want to belittle others rather than helping - thanks for nothing

[Ouisophie]

Thank you to those who weren't horrible!