NC for this as I have posted about dss dad and don't want to be spotted.
So my wife and I have been married for many years and i am heavily involved in my two teenage stepchildren lives dss and dsd. I believe personally I am a good dad and stepdad and have always tried to treat them like my own. I have a good relationship with both of them as do my children (despite occasions issues).
My wife left her ex my stepchildren dad when they were still young. He was emotionally abusive and it as far as I'm a aware was abusive relationship. He has been in and out of my children's lives but mostly has stayed away but every so often makes contact.
My stepchildren both decided last year for Father's Day to begin the adoption process (came as a suprise to us and was entirely their decision). They wanted to show their appreciation as they said it.
However this did not go down well with their bio dad. He has more of a relationship with dss then with dsd.
Bio dad has sent messages to his son containing racist abuse about me and my family calling us p**kis and other slurs. He has said stuff along the lines of that he doesn't want an Indian raising his children and that I'm taking away their English identity. It's obviously racist crap, because my family have been in this country for 3 generations and 2 generations we are not that Indian. I don't even speak Punjabi.
But how would you address such statements when he says things like this to my stepchildren or wife and we have given up on adoption. Also is it a police matter or just a bigots view ?
AIBU?
Dss dad my wife's ex husband and racism.
Eddie19 · 12/02/2017 17:02
You know what Eddie19 you sound like a thoroughly decent guy, who has raised 2 non biological children as his own. All siblings argue so don't beat yourself up about that.
I would honestly not give their 'Dad' the time of day, I know the comments hurt but I wouldn't rise to his bait. He's obviously a very angry bitter man, with issues that will never change. I would imagine at best you could get an injection, but that would mean the SC miss out on him.
The best thing, I know that this may not even occur to you, is keep raising those children, show them how a real Dad behaves. I promise you that have his children regard you, a better Dad than their biological one will hurt far more.
If he texts you anything racist, block his number. If he texts or says anything racist to your wife, discuss the option of not replying to texts or walking off. Show the man it won't be tolerated.
People like this, ignoring them goes way further than biting back. Think to the future when you SD asks you to walk her down the aisle.
Wishing you all the best 
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