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Wedding AIBU: to not have an evening reception?

(94 Posts)
BriefParanoidNameChange Sun 12-Feb-17 16:05:29

What would you think of this wedding timeline, if you were a guest..:

2.30pm Wedding ceremony

3pm (ish) Photos, milling about out and inside hotel, canapés, drinks, chatting

5pm Dinner, speeches, trala.


This is a location about an hour from the city where most guests will be travelling from. Some will be further (sorry) but driveable.
To make matters delightfully complicated, my family won't be coming to our wedding, for sad, hard to explain reasons relating to their religious beliefs. Obviously I'm feeling rubbish about this because I love them very much, and I just don't really want to drag the day out for hours. I'm obviously excited/delighted to be getting married, and want everyone to have a good time, so I was just hoping that people wouldn't see this layout as a bit of a letdown or boring. My anxiety about this wedding is a real pain, so I thought a MN AIBU thread was the way to go 😜 Thanks for reading.

PurpleDaisies Sun 12-Feb-17 16:06:56

No that sounds lovely. What's a "trala"?

RuggerHug Sun 12-Feb-17 16:08:34

I'd be bloody thrilled tbh. If anyone wants dancing/whatever after they can go off and do that themselves. We're also doing 'now you're fed, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here' for our wedding though. smile I wouldn't worry about it.

DrSeuss Sun 12-Feb-17 16:08:35

Sounds lovely.
However, it's YOUR wedding! Do what YOU want!

DrivingMeBonkers Sun 12-Feb-17 16:09:06

Sounds perfect and civilised! Everyone has a nice day and an early finish before the disco and 'dad-dancing' starts grin

SandunesAndRainclouds Sun 12-Feb-17 16:09:33

It sounds fine to me, although would there be the option if you're having the loveliest time and you're not ready for the day to be over?

Littleballerina Sun 12-Feb-17 16:10:13

Sounds perfect. I think you need to make sure guests are aware though so that they are not expecting a big after party.

BriefParanoidNameChange Sun 12-Feb-17 16:10:28

Haha sorry, 'trala' was just my odd way of trying to say 'and so on'

Foldedtshirt Sun 12-Feb-17 16:11:24

Very civilised- posh even!
Have a lovely day flowers

Juveniledelinquent Sun 12-Feb-17 16:13:01

It sounds bloody perfect to me. Enjoy yourself, it's your day flowers

Ginmakesitallok Sun 12-Feb-17 16:13:17

You need to let your guests know in advance. We're going to a wedding next week - if it finishes at 8 I'll be hmm and angry

isittheholidaysyet Sun 12-Feb-17 16:13:22

It's your wedding. Do what you want. Sounds fine to me.

I think an evening do is for when you want to invite far more people than you can afford to seat. If you don't have that problem then no worries.

PurpleDaisies Sun 12-Feb-17 16:13:54

Haha sorry, 'trala' was just my odd way of trying to say 'and so on'

I've never heard that before. grin

Honestly, it sounds like a lovely day.

BriefParanoidNameChange Sun 12-Feb-17 16:14:56

We'd plan to stay at the hotel after (in the complimentary bridal suite, shudder) so one thing I'm not sure of is how to end things without awkwardness. Not like we can just speed off on honeymoon somewhere and leave people to it.

Flyingprettycretonnecurtains Sun 12-Feb-17 16:15:01

I didn't have an evening do. I think they can be a pain. That timetable looks good. Sorry about your family's attitude. There's nowt so inhumane as some religious folk.

Waterfeature Sun 12-Feb-17 16:16:03

Our day was very similar.

It was lovely.

I understood "trala" as well. grin

What are the religious issues? Might the family change their minds?

Sunnymeg Sun 12-Feb-17 16:17:52

We did something similar, as DH is not a dancer and didn't want to do the first dance, disco party thing. After the formal end of the reception we just mingled with guests, which was really nice as I spoke to far more people than I would have done if we had had dancing. We did have some light classical music play in the background and I'd recommend doing something similar as it adds to the ambiance.

isseywithcats Sun 12-Feb-17 16:17:56

my sister in law and her hubby had one of these types of weddings, got married at 3pm, photos outside location for an hour, went to a local restaurant where we all had a sit down meal and a few people (family) back to their house for post wedding drinks and chat it was lovely not too long and still very much celebrating thier special day , we got to spend breakfast with them too as brides son had booked them into holiday inn for the night and we were staying there too as they live essex and we live yorkshire go for it , its your wedding day

BriefParanoidNameChange Sun 12-Feb-17 16:18:02

"if it finishes at 8 I'll be hmm and angry"

Is that particularly if you'd travelled a distance, or just generally?

Leeds2 Sun 12-Feb-17 16:18:10

I think it is absolutely fine, and wouldn't bother mean the slightest. In fact, I would much prefer a wedding that avoided any kind disco.

But, as others have said, do make sure your guests are aware as otherwise they will probably be expecting some kind of evening event. You could perhaps leave the venue, with your husband, so that it is obvious to all when it has finished. I Imagine a lot of your guests may stay drinking the venue bar if that is an option.

PavlovianLunge Sun 12-Feb-17 16:19:26

Your day, your choice, but definitely a good idea to let guests know the likely finish time.

I hear what you say about not wanting a full evening reception, but rather than just have dinner and end, could you face adding an hour or so afterwards for drinks, milling, chatting and drifting off?

Soozikinzi Sun 12-Feb-17 16:19:57

I have been married 35 years in April and we didn't have an evening do that was perfect accepted then we left for the honeymoon and that was the end of it .Thats where the tying tin cans and painting just married comes from .its a retro wedding! As long as it's clear to everyone that it's the meal speeches chat photos etc and then disperse I think that's fine.Its your wedding !I think people are getting pressured into things that cost a fortune and then don't even want. Whatever you decide hope you have a lovely day that you both enjoy xx

Ginmakesitallok Sun 12-Feb-17 16:21:23

We're having to fly over the night before, 2 hotel stays, so would be v disappointed in an early night! Have never heard of no evening do - so would need to be warned! But it's your day - do what you want.

Allthebestnamesareused Sun 12-Feb-17 16:23:07

That's what we did 16 years ago in April. It was both of us 2nd marriage.

In the end we did ask the hotel where we had the wedding to make up a few trays of sandwiches as a number of family members (and us) carried on chatting in the bar. We had put money behind the bar and in the end we actually had a refund as it wasn't all used and the sandwiches were included in that money.

PinkCrystal Sun 12-Feb-17 16:23:48

Our wedding was very similar. No evening do just a meal and drinks. We only had close family and friends. It was lovely.

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