To think DH is bad for my health?(3 Posts)
Obviously I know I make my own choices but I'm finding DH makes it so bloody difficult for me to make the right choices and it's getting me down.
I have a problem with binge drinking on a weekend. Every Friday I start with the cans until I feel almost sick or fall asleep. Next day huge hangover all morning and then start again on the cans come Saturday night. Since I recognised how bad this was getting I started asking DH to support me in not drinking on a weekend. He always says he will (although refuses to give up himself so that we don't have it in the house).
Anyway come Friday night (often as early as 5pm) he will open a can and bring me one. I know I should just say no but its so bloody hard when you're trying to fight and addiction and someone keeps bringing you your poison! This Friday I refused the first one and then caved in at 6.30pm and started drinking . Managed to stop at 3 cans which is a bloody miracle for me but come Saturday night DH starts drinking at 1pm. I hold off. Eventually cave in at 6 after numerous offers. He then goes out and brings in a bottle of wine. I hold off that and eventually cave at 7pm after he starts going in a mood because I'm not drinking with him.
I just find it all so impossible. I feel if I lived on my own I'd be so much healthier. I wouldn't drink - I wouldn't have constant hangovers so would be able to dedicate my weekends to positive activities ...
Even during the week I feel I can't go to bed early because he goes in a mood saying that I don't want to spend time with him so we end up going at midnight and I constantly look and feel like shit.
How do you maintain willpower when you have an enabler in the house??
(Been in a very similar situation) - talk to him. Keep telling him you want to change this habit. If he brings you a can, question him - "why are you doing that when I've told you how I feel about this?". Keep telling yourself you need to cut down. Set yourself limits. You're already doing well holding off til later - you can make changes if you keep going with this. If you're unhappy about it then it will have to change - only so long you can live with the situation before it has to change.
Don't let him make you feel bad about not drinking with him. You don't always want to or have to drink. Question him if he goes in a mood with you. What right does he have to make you drink? Keep questioning. Keep going. You can make changes. Just persist.
Also - read Codependent No More by Melody Beattie (ignoring the religious bits if they don't apply). You can get it on Audible for free if you sign up to an account and cancel it before the month's out (you get to keep the audiobook).
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