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To feel uncomfortable with my new neighbour

(139 Posts)
Sikkinis Sat 11-Feb-17 15:56:31

I'm aware that mumsnet is awash with neighbourly disputes so apologies in advance

I work from home mostly, and due to space constraints I have to work in my bedroom. The house opposite is raised slightly so their windows on the front look directly into my bedroom. This wouldn't be so bad, because the last 8 years the man who lived across the road was never visible at his windows, apart from getting on with his life (washing up)

However an older couple have now bought the house, and every day without fail I'm catching the husband looking into my bedroom window. At first I ignored it, just a downside of being overlooked, but I've started noticing him doing it with all the lights off, and sometimes he jumps when he sees me noticing him. He also only does it when his wife is out.

I've moved my desk so I now face the wall but I don't want to have to keep the curtains shut all day. AIBU to feel uncomfortable with this? Is there anything I can do?

Pineappletastic Sat 11-Feb-17 15:59:01

This is why we have net curtains at the front, even though my mum says they 'went out with Noah'.

TheCakes Sat 11-Feb-17 16:00:20

Venetian blinds.

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 11-Feb-17 16:00:21

I wouldn't like that either. He sounds like a weirdo.

user1484394242 Sat 11-Feb-17 16:00:42

Vertical blinds, you can close them slightly either way so the light still comes in and you can see out but he can't see you

lightcola Sat 11-Feb-17 16:04:57

Put a sign up in your window in big, bold lettering saying "your husband keeps perving on me"

Juveniledelinquent Sat 11-Feb-17 16:07:16

Put a sign up in your window in big, bold lettering saying "your husband keeps perving on me"

Ohhh yesssss!

TrionicLettuce Sat 11-Feb-17 16:09:26

Frosted window film? You'd still get the light but he wouldn't be able to peer in at you.

user892 Sat 11-Feb-17 16:11:10

Give him a wave, or an emphatic flick on the B's, or stick a sign in your window as above

Sikkinis Sat 11-Feb-17 16:12:25

*looks for sharpie and big piece of card*

user892 Sat 11-Feb-17 16:13:06

Ha! Typo 'flick of the Vs' (would not want to go anywhere near his balls!)

OldGuard Sat 11-Feb-17 16:13:18

Cover your window in the plastic film that lets you see out but which is a mirror from the outside - problem solved - you are not effected and he can't see in at all

Derlei Sat 11-Feb-17 16:13:46

OP shouldn't have to conceal her window though. Even if you put a blind up, would you really be comfortable still knowing there is a potential peeping tom living across the way?

I think you need to confront him. Knock on their door and say politely ( in front of his wife) "I've noticed you've been glancing into my room on a daily basis. Are you concerned about something such as an intruder? As there is no need to be"

barinatxe Sat 11-Feb-17 16:15:15

It's creepy but I don't think there is much you can do. He is entitled to look out of his window, even if it overlooks your property. I don't think this behaviour alone could be seen as enough evidence to prove he is harassing you.

How bright is your room? It is usually quite hard to see much detail through a window into a relatively dark room when it is daylight. Are you certain he is watching you? Perhaps he just aimlessly stares out the window and "jumps" because he sees you looking at him. This might explain why he only does it when his wife is out, when she is in she ensures he has better things to do with his time!

Generally people are allowed to do what they like in their home, and his right to look out of his own window is not automatically lower down the pecking order than your right to not be overlooked while you are working. The woman opposite me (first floor flat) is always sat at her table by the window, working on her computer. Sometimes she looks out of the window, certainly she can see me in my kitchen if she happens to look that way. If it bothers me, I turn the blinds down a bit more.

If you see any other behaviour that concerns you then keep a note and speak to the police, but this behaviour alone is not likely to be considered serious enough for them to get involved.

Sikkinis Sat 11-Feb-17 16:18:50

Definitely don't want to get the police involved, I'm not suggesting it's that serious.

I'm just finding it a bit unsettling, but I suppose it might just be the fact that I've had 8 years without being overlooked much, to this

peggyundercrackers Sat 11-Feb-17 16:18:50

How do you know his wife is out? Sounds like you watch them as much as they watch you.

CatsBatsEars Sat 11-Feb-17 16:20:09

Yanbu, I would feel uncomfortable too. Short of giving him the middle finger, I'd consider getting a voile or net curtain up.

BertrandRussell Sat 11-Feb-17 16:21:51

Why did you mention that the were an "older couple"?

Sikkinis Sat 11-Feb-17 16:24:01

I know his wife is out because she has a disability and takes the car everywhere. If the car is not there, she is out.

I feel it's relevant that he is much older (50s) because I am in my early twenties.

ShowMePotatoSalad Sat 11-Feb-17 16:26:35

Haha I was imagining a really old man, like 90s or something.

Vertical blinds or some net curtains - you can get quite chic ones now.

BertrandRussell Sat 11-Feb-17 16:27:58

"I feel it's relevant that he is much older (50s) because I am in my early twenties."

Why?

NeepNeepNeep Sat 11-Feb-17 16:29:37

Sit at your desk wearing an increasingly bizarre selection of hats. A colander should be an easy start.

PuraVida Sat 11-Feb-17 16:30:21

Are you sure he's looking at you?

I like looking out my window. We have a distant view of trees and hills. I hope my neighbours don't think I'm perving

PidgeyfinderGeneral Sat 11-Feb-17 16:30:24

I would get reflective film on the window. We have it on one of ours which is overlooked and it works well.

Think I'd be a bit irritated by someone constantly looking in my window too.

Sikkinis Sat 11-Feb-17 16:31:30

Puravida I can't see what else could be looking at, my house is exactly in line with his, and there's no view. Unless he's looking in someone else's window, which is just as hmm

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