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About Birthday Gifts?

(10 Posts)
zukiecat Sat 11-Feb-17 15:27:07

I should start by saying I absolutely do not care about birthday gifts, By that I mean I make sure everyone else has decent gifts, to the best that I can afford

It was my nephew's 21st at the end of the year, and as I am on a very low income (part time job) I sent him a nice card with a note explaining things were very tough for me at the moment (I've been a single parent for 14 years and have had some serious health issues to deal with) Some are mental health problems and some physical, none of which will ever fully resolved. So I told DN I would get him something nice when funds allowed

I have my own DC to think about too, anyway I fully intended to get him his gift at the end of January, but just into the New Year my nephew was absolutely vile to my younger DD (23) and called her some awful things, said DD was, in his own words " a fucking lying little cunt and you couldn't trust a fucking word that came out of her fucking mouth"

The thing that he said DD lied about was said in a room full of people, including my DB and SIL, and my parents, so it couldn't be denied that he actually said it. It was just something about being lonely at night since splitting with his girlfriend and he wanted SIL's cuddly dog to cuddle, DD later mentioned this to him on fb, which I get maybe she shouldn't have, but there was no malicious intent on her part

Now it was my 50th at the end of January, and as I said, no gifts were required or asked for, my DDs gave me two books which cost less than £15 for the two, I in no way asked for or expected anything from anyone. My brother sent me nothing so my very toxic mother who I have very little contact with asked my brother why he didn't send anything, I only told her because she asked and I told her to leave it well alone, but she interferes all the time, most of my mental health issues are down to her treatment of me throughout the years, and I've posted at length about her on here in the past

My nephew also referred to us as a bunch of "minks" which is a Scottish way of saying poor, and it was pathetic how we can't afford luxuries or even the basics sometimes

Sorry for the long saga, but AIBU in not sending my nephew anything before now or is my brother because he told my mother the reason I didn't get a present was because I haven't sent my nephew one? I did send him, my SIL and my niece on their milestone birthdays

Thanks if you've read all this!

Magzmarsh Sat 11-Feb-17 15:33:44

It all sounds very Jeremy Kyle, i wouldn't be having anything to do with them.

EatTheChocolateTeapot Sat 11-Feb-17 15:34:28

YANBU and stop giving him presents (the lot of them) and accepting their abuse.

EatTheChocolateTeapot Sat 11-Feb-17 15:34:47

Them not him

zukiecat Sat 11-Feb-17 15:38:36

Totally agree about Jeremy Kyle Magzmarsh!

I have very little to do with them as it is, I suppose what I really wanted to ask was AIBU to want a bit of compassion, because I do struggle with things

Starlight2345 Sat 11-Feb-17 15:45:35

These people will not give you the compassion you deserve...

Do not trust your mum with any information you are not prepared to repeat. Protect yourself here.

Magzmarsh Sat 11-Feb-17 16:51:01

They're not nice people op, you clearly deserve better. Cut them out of your life. Anyone who called my dd a "lying cunt" would be dead to me.

booellesmum Sat 11-Feb-17 16:55:24

I don't think it was unreasonable to delay sending something- and certainly not unreasonable now to never send anything ever again.
Tbh I would never contact them again.

zukiecat Sat 11-Feb-17 16:57:54

Those were my thoughts exactly Magzmarsh

It was an awful thing to say, and my brother saw no problem with it

My nephew has also made comments in the past about my financial situation, none of which were complimentary!

zukiecat Sat 11-Feb-17 17:04:49

I think you're right booellesmum

I won't be contacting them, or sending even a card in future

This isn't the first time something like this has happened, and I got lots of help and support on here at that time too


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