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To just need a moan about babies/toddlers and lack of sleep or life!

(20 Posts)
Chattycat78 Sat 11-Feb-17 09:38:07

Just that really. Have an 8 month old and a 2 year old. Baby likely teething. Last week or so getting woken every 2 hours to screaming. This also wakes the toddler too. Baby also wants feeding during the night. The daytime is also relentless. Toddler is totally full on- running around. Every little thing is a negotiation - takes me half and hour or longer to even leave the house. Baby is at a funny age where he can't crawl or anything yet so there's only so much you can do with him without carrying him around all the time. I'm grumpy and snappy. Husband is also working today so it's another day on my own with them both- weekend is no different to during the week. I'm taking them to a party thing later which I should be looking forward to, but I'm not because everyone else will only have 1 child to 2 parents but I'll be alone with the 2 of them so it will just be a hard slog for me.

Lack of having a life is also feeling like a problem. I haven't had any time to myself for ages or done anything- but it's a vicious circle as I'm too tired anyway!

I love them to bits but I'm starting to struggle with this now. sad . I know I'm moaning- sorry- I just needed to get it out.

Derlei Sat 11-Feb-17 10:12:04

Sorry to hear this, I know the feeling, my baby is also 8 months old but I don't have a toddler so I can't imagine how hard that is.

Do you have any family or grandparents or anybody at all nearby who would love to take one or both of them off your hands for half a day? Just a few hours to yourself can do you the world of good.

With regards to the baby, if he is teething, do you administer any calpol or calprofen before bedtime ; this should help him remain comfortable during the night if it's causing him pain.
With regards to his feeding, is he on solids yet? I know a lot of babies still wake up for a feed in the night for a while however it's probably worth trying to work out whether this is down to sleep association or if it's down to genuine hunger. Is he eating/drinking enough during the day?

My 8 month old also isn't crawling yet either and can at times still be unsteady on his bum; I have a bouncer chair that's quite low down so that I can strap him in to it and scatter his toys around on top of a couple of pillows. I can then leave him without worrying about his safety, it lets me do the sanity-saving things such as a getting a cup of tea!
I would also recommend a jumperoo, this should keep him entertained for a while to take the strain off you carrying him

lornathewizzard Sat 11-Feb-17 10:16:06

It is hard work, I have a 6mo and 2.5 year old. I know it's difficult to get out or get some time to yourself when you're tired but you will feel better for it. If anyone can take one or both of them then definitely take advantage

FurryGiraffe Sat 11-Feb-17 10:21:06

Oh god not unreasonable at all. Mine are 3.9 and 9 months. DS2 has been one long virus after another since six months. Also very windy at night. Result- crap sleep. DS1 also prone to night waking which DH deals with, and that limits how much he can do with DS2 (plus he often screeches till he gets me). Also means we're in separate rooms which is necessary but I hate it :-(

I am shattered and grumpy. DS1 gets a raw deal because I'm grumpy and lack energy to be an enthusiastic parent. Also, DS2 is crawling everywhere so it's tricky to for example play with DS1 and Brio while keeping DS2 from pulling up the track! DS2 is such an easy self contained baby too- he's amazing. And that makes me feel guilty too because I'm far too prone to just leave him to it when I can. I am a seriously crap parent at the moment.

Dreading going back to work in six weeks because no idea how I'll cope with this little sleep. But also really looking forward to getting a bit of me back.

Chattycat78 Sat 11-Feb-17 10:23:48

Yes- Calpol etc before bed. I Do have a jumperoo and also a bumboo type seat and yes on solids also- 3 meals a day. He's also drinking a lot during the day. He's very small unfortunately so there's only so much you can fill him with during the day. His stomach is just very small (he was prem).

Yes I need a break. Will try to arrange one.....

Chattycat78 Sat 11-Feb-17 10:28:01

Giraffe- I get what u say about work. I have no clue how I'm going to find the headspace for it, never mind the energy! I was hoping baby would be sleeping through by then but right now I'm not so bloody sure!

I also hear what u say about ds1- I'm crap too. He watches too much tv..... it's also hard when it's so cold and dark to find things to amuse toddlers anyway. Like I said above, I haven't got the energy for the fight involved in leaving the house (won't put shoes on/coat on/get in buggy)- and he's massively heavy too so I can barely lift him.

FurryGiraffe Sat 11-Feb-17 10:31:53

DS1 was a much better sleeper at this age so I hadn't really considered how to balance sleep before now confused

I agree cold and dark makes it so much worse- it's hard to go out (and my 3 year old is fairly good about leaving the house now). Where DS2 has had endless coughs/wheezing/bronchiolitis, I don't really feel we can be outside for very long because he just looks so miserable. Plus he wants to be crawling about so finds the park v dull as he's stuck in buggy/sling - and gets whingy.

FurryGiraffe Sat 11-Feb-17 10:32:18

Sorry- first sentence should be 'how to balance sleep and work'

Oly5 Sat 11-Feb-17 10:35:08

It will get better! Mine are now five and three and sleeping quite well but I remember those hellish days. Just try to be as nice to yourself as possible, use CBeebies if you need to for the eldest to get yourself a sit down with a cup of tea... But lost of all hang in there. It gets easier. It's still hard but more enjoyable now

Chattycat78 Sat 11-Feb-17 10:40:46

Giraffe- same here. Ds1 slept 7-7 from 6 months onwards and I thought that was average! Looks like I was wrong...! Health v kindly pointed out to me the other week that supposedly 2/3 of babies aren't sleeping through by 1 year - not sure if it's true or not as that seems like a lot.

FurryGiraffe Sat 11-Feb-17 10:44:41

Thing is, I'm really not looking for sleeping through. That's cloud cuckoo land for us at the moment. But at the moment I average about 4 1/2 hours broken into 3/4 chunks because he wakes 4-5 times. 2 wake ups and some longer sleeps for me would be heaven!

HearTheThunderRoar Sat 11-Feb-17 10:49:42

This brings me back OP, moan away! not to scare you but my DD didn't sleep through until the age 3 and because my Dh worked nights I was left to cope with a screaming baby/toddler on my own and then do a full day's work the following day.

Looking back, I have got no idea how I coped (I went back to work when she was 3 months) but I somehow got through it. The lack of sleep is a killer, everything seems twice as bad when your over tired. No wonder I didn't have a second childgrin

It does get easier as they get older, dd is now a teenager and I have the opposite problem, she won't get out of bed!

Chattycat78 Sat 11-Feb-17 10:53:50

Giraffe- yes I'm the same. We're averaging 4 plus wake ups each night and a feed. I'm getting possibly 2 hours of unbroken sleep at a time. It sucks. Every night feels like a military exercise and then it's not like you can rest during the day either. I look like shit I reckon. All my clothes are covered in baby sick and I haven't bought anything new for years.

FurryGiraffe Sat 11-Feb-17 11:40:36

YY re nights and military exercise. It feels like a relentless endurance test. What I wouldn't give for six hours sleep a night...

It doesn't help that DS2 wakes up once or twice in the evening before we go to bed too, and although DH does those, it really feels like there's never any baby free down time. It's hard to do something as simple as sit down and watch an hour of tv because it inevitably gets interrupted.

I relate to the feeling like you look rubbish, though my best friend and my DM keep telling me how good I look at the moment confused. I presume they're trying to make me feel better.

FlipFlopFlappy Sat 11-Feb-17 11:48:13

Is the 8m waking to breast feed?
Is your husband there most evenings/nights?
When the dts were young (dtd didn't sleep through until 2.5) I always knew when worst came to worst I could sleep 6pm-12am and dh could have 12am-6am

Frazzled2207 Sat 11-Feb-17 11:48:49

I feel for you I really do I had two rubbish sleepers 20 months apart. I've barely had a decent night's sleep in 4 years sadhowever I can report that now at 3.5 and nearly 2 it is manageable and has been for a few months.
Co-sleeping with the baby saved me. And he has recently started sometimes sleeping through the night in his cot so you're not necessarily making a rod for your own back.
flowersand gin

Chattycat78 Sat 11-Feb-17 11:53:42

8 month old wakes to breastfeed once. Other times- crying/unsettled - teething I think. Yes husband is around so I guess I could get to bed 8pm ish if needed But that also means sacrificing any child free evening time which tbh I think is important too.

Chattycat78 Sat 11-Feb-17 11:54:47

I should also say that 8 month old is really a 6plus month old as he was 5 weeks prem.

FlipFlopFlappy Sat 11-Feb-17 11:56:10

I always choose sleep over free time. That's just me though. I often went to bed with the twins grin

FurryGiraffe Sat 11-Feb-17 12:00:55

I always choose sleep over free time if it's just me, but I really need a bit of time with DH here and there. Especially because we're not sharing a bed.

Getting DH to do a shift isn't working very well for us at the moment. Sometimes fine but sometimes DS2 just won't settle for DH and gets absolutely hysterical and wakes DS1. Fair enough I guess as he's ill and feeling rotten but a bit irritating. I get a long lie in on DH's days off though.

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