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to say something to childminder?

(69 Posts)
kel1234 Fri 10-Feb-17 18:58:16

My lo goes to a childminder. Today he had on a vest, long sleeved t shirt, jeans and a body warmer, and obviously socks and shoes. He also had his coat, hat, scarf and mittens.
The childminder lives literally 5 minutes away from us, and I know that on Fridays she takes them out in the car, so I wasn't too concerned about him not having a long sleeved jumper or jacket on under his coat today (he was perfectly warm enough in the pram with his blanket over him, but I made sure he wasn't too hot with both on). However she sent me a few pictures after i got home of him today. Fine. This afternoon she had them out in her double pram, and my lo only had his t shirt and body warmer on, with his hat. No coat, no scarf, no mittens. I was quite surprised by this as he had his coat there, and the boy next to him had his coat on, so it wasn't she simply didn't feel the need for coats or anything.
WIBU to say something to her next week? She's lovely and I've never had any problems before. My lo looks happy in the picture, but I can't help but think he would have been cold without a coat it was about 3 degrees here today. And they were defiantly outside as there is trees in the background.

kel1234 Fri 10-Feb-17 18:58:53

* with him

Uiscebeatha85 Fri 10-Feb-17 19:02:13

'would you mind making sure DS is well/appropriately wrapped up if you're bringing him out please? Trying to have some damage limitation re colds/viruses/yada yada. Thanks a lot'

Jobs a goodun

Uiscebeatha85 Fri 10-Feb-17 19:02:54

Yanbu to say that btw

Anotherdayanotherscreenname Fri 10-Feb-17 19:05:41

Not quite the point of the thread but does she have permission to send photographs of minded children to peoples personal phones?

kel1234 Fri 10-Feb-17 19:15:44

Thanks for the response. I'll say that to her next week.
And yes she does. We signed consent forms for her taking photos (and a whole load of other things). The other child's parents obviously did as well, and she will have sent his parents the same picture of the 2 of them I assume. As long as we don't put any pictures that have any other children in on social media, it's fine.

kel1234 Fri 10-Feb-17 19:16:17

She wouldn't do it without permission..

VocalDuck Fri 10-Feb-17 19:21:23

So your son had three layers on (vest, tshirt and bodywarmer)? Maybe the other child only had a tshirt under the coat. What about a footmuff to the pram? The footmuff for my pram is ridiculously warm for this country, so your son would have been fine if that was the case. However, I do think that anytime you are concerned it is best to say something and to do so as soon as possible. It could be he had asked for his coat to be taken off or had felt hot shortly before the picture was taken and then had the coat on again soon afterwards.

bumsexatthebingo Fri 10-Feb-17 19:29:55

I would leave it tbh. Maybe your child felt hot or resisted putting the coat on. So long as she had it with her should he need it I wouldn't see the problem. I've let my kids decide if they want their coat on from when they were old enough to show a preference. Saves a lot of hassle trying to coax a stubborn child into putting on their coat when if it's cold they will want it soon anyway. Even on a cold day here kids won't come to any actual harm from no wearing a coat (they get colds if they come into contact with the cold virus - not due to weather).
Maybe they had been snuggled up on the cm's knee or toddling (if they are old enough) before the pic was taken and they were warm? I think you would seem very picky to complain tbh.

Ciderandskatesdontmix Fri 10-Feb-17 19:31:56

How old is your ds? Could he have refused/taken his own coat off? I often look like a terrible mother when taking my 4 and 5yo out as I'm all wrapped up and they're running around in just a tshirt as they don't want want their coats/hats/gloves on that i paid a fortune for

FourKidsNotCrazyYet Fri 10-Feb-17 19:39:35

Maybe he'd taken his own coat off and was refusing to wear it momentarily as he was hot running about? It's easy to jump to conclusions and worry. Ask her why he wasn't wearing his coat? 'Aww, cute photo CM. didn't he want to wear his coat? Then you know.

Doglikeafox Fri 10-Feb-17 20:15:49

Presumably you trust her judgment, since you are leaving your DS with her. There are hundreds of reasons that your child wasn't wearing a coat for that particular photo- today I took a mindee out with just a jumper for the school run because she had spilled her drink all over here coat arm and front, which would keep her even more cold. I assessed how cold it was, decided to keep an eye on the child and returned to the car quicker than normal when she started to look cold.

Crunchymum Fri 10-Feb-17 20:18:24

So his arms were uncovered?

Anotherdayanotherscreenname Fri 10-Feb-17 21:05:24

If she is generally diligent (and it sounds like she is with her consent froms etc) I'd leave it alone. If he gets sick then I'd think about it again, but I'd trust her judgement until then.

She was there, she knew the temperature and as pp said you don't know how layered the other boy was.

arethereanyleftatall Fri 10-Feb-17 21:08:38

Be careful that the end result of whatever you do, isn't just that she sends no more photos.

Crumbs1 Fri 10-Feb-17 21:58:31

How many layers does the poor child need?

bumsexatthebingo Fri 10-Feb-17 22:01:32

It does say long sleeved t-shirt in the op...I would imagine how you would feel in the cm's position to be under this much scrutiny op.

ApproachingATunnel Fri 10-Feb-17 22:07:16

I would have to say something. It was 2 degrees here, that's cold. You need a coat in this temperature!

LucklessMonster Fri 10-Feb-17 22:09:26

So his arms were uncovered?

No, long-sleeved T-shirt.

bumsexatthebingo Fri 10-Feb-17 22:13:08

A long sleeved top and body warmer isn't unreasonable if the child has been running around or on the cm's knee. The op said he looked happy in the picture so he clearly wasn't too cold.
Or maybe he had just got out of his car seat and into the pram?
I really think if you want to micromanage every aspect of your childs day to this degree having someone else mind them isn't an option.

MouldyPeach Fri 10-Feb-17 22:13:47

Sounds fine to me and I'm sure she knows what she is doing. If it was a case of not being bothered to put his coat on she wouldn't have sent a picture. If this is a one off I'd leave it but maybe it's the latest in a long line of little things?

Jenniferb21 Fri 10-Feb-17 22:14:33

I would personally say quite casually 'did DS not want to put his coat on last week? I saw he was quite wrapped up in that photo but I'd prefer him to wear his coat.' Just see what she says/ what the reason is etc and then you can decide if it was reasonable.

If anything plays on your mind with childcare I think you're better to ask because you're paying them to care for your child if you're not 100% happy with elements of the care I imagine a CM would expect you to query it. You're not being unreasonable as long as she's given an opportunity to tell you why he didn't have his coat on and hopefully if you say you would rather he wears it in winter I'm sure it won't happen again anyway.

HelenaGWells Fri 10-Feb-17 22:17:29

Maybe be refused the coat? Maybe he had it on and got too hot? Maybe he had just been pelting round the park and was warm?

He has got on a vest, long sleeved top and bodywarmer. That is 3 layers. I don't see the issue? I would do coat or body warmer tbh if in a pram with blankets otherwise they overheat.

kel1234 Sat 11-Feb-17 00:22:21

Vocal duck- There was no footmuff on the pram, she told me she covers them with blankets when they go out. Also my son is only 17 months so it's all but impossible he asked for his coat to be taken off for the picture.
Bumsexatthebingo- he isn't walking yet. And it's not me being picky, it's me wanting my son wearing a coat in February. It's not scrutiny, what would she think if I took him without a coat on? Also he wasn't running round as I said. And I don't wish to micromanage every aspect of the day at all. I find you a bit rude tbh.
Cider- He is 17 months so he couldn't really refuse to wear it.
Fourkids- not possible. At his age he wouldn't have take it off. Also he isn't walking yet, so impossible for him to be running around.
Crumbs- please don't call my child a poor child. Vest, t shirt and body warmer instead of a hooded jacket or jumper. Perfectly standard for this weather. I find you quite rude tbh.
Helena- thanks for the advice but I would never let my son overheat. But harsh and judgemental I think.

wettunwindee Sat 11-Feb-17 03:22:47

kel1234 - You asked for opinions and got them.

It sounds fine to me. Your child was happy. The other child may have just had a vest and coat on. At 17 months, most children can let you know if they're hot or cold.

It does sound fairly unreasonable. You could say something if you want but it wouldn't worry me with a 17 month old.

I Hope you don't find me quite / a bit rude tbh.

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