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AIBU?

To want to shout shut up!! To sleeping husband?!

25 replies

Autumnleaves105 · 10/02/2017 00:18

Hello, I'm a seasoned insomniac. I can never turn my brain off or have a husband/child/sumo wrestling cats that wake me up.
I sleep with a loud fan noise every night to block out annoying sounds so I can 'sleep' I think I'm just over sensitive and sometimes the fan noise pisses me off! However, I would much rather that than the sleeping husband noises. He's not quite a snorer, though they does happen, but he breathes in and out of his mouth very forcefully! It actually sounds at times like he's running?! I've tried to match his breathing to block it out but I'm not as loud and I get out of breath trying! He's says I practically die when I'm asleep (says he's worried I'm not breathing but just rolls over-charming! 😝) anyway..it's a massive pet peeve that constantly keeps me awake. We've tried other rooms-I can often hear him from spare room. I've tried ear plugs, don't work. I don't know why he can't just breathe through his nose like most people? I shove him from time to time and have shouted at him once- he was less than impressed!
I don't know what to do other than gaffa tape his mouth shut...are sleep clinics expensive? I know he can't help it and I'm BU, but help!

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KanyesVest · 10/02/2017 00:22

I'm not insomniac but I do find getting to sleep difficult. Dh is currently snorting, snoring and doing stupid fucking breathing beside me. I'll be your alibi if you'll be mine....

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Autumnleaves105 · 10/02/2017 00:39

Why are men so annoying?! I've got your back 👍🏻

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TooSmittle · 10/02/2017 00:43

I feel your pain, it's bloody awful trying to sleep when all you can focus on is the warthog noises next to you.

Have you tried the squishy earplugs? I don't know what they're made of but they're foamy and you squash them down, shove them in your ears and they expand to fill the space. They're bright colours normally, construction workers use them and so do crew at big concerts. They used to help me a bit. I've since had 2 children within 3 years and now I'm so tired I could fall asleep next to a jackhammer if I just got 2 seconds alone!

Alternatively have you tried listening to music or audio books through headphones? It might help quiet your racing mind, plus would be a distraction from wanting to put a pillow over your DH's head!

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Autumnleaves105 · 10/02/2017 00:47

Hi smittle, I haven't tried audio books, could be a good shout. I move around a lot so near enough strangle myself..I have small ears so ear plugs and earphones constantly fall out, but squishy ones could be worth a go! Sympathies to all that have to suffer as we do!

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Autumnleaves105 · 10/02/2017 00:47

I'm attempting the sofa right now...

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TooSmittle · 10/02/2017 00:51

www.nosleeplessnights.com/headphones-for-sleeping/

There are some fabric type headband headphones on there that might work for your little ears.

Yes, sympathies all round. I got my own back while I was pregnant and snored like a stuck pig, DP hated it but couldn't say a word Grin It was just about the only fun bit of being pregnant!

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bear28 · 10/02/2017 00:52

Oh god. I struggle with my partners snoring so much and it takes me forever to get to sleep. I put an audiobook on my phone and place it under my pillow so it is a little muffled and put an squishy earplug in the other ear. Works a treat!! If all else fails I use an ear plug in each ear. Hope you find something that works for you!!

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MysticTwat · 10/02/2017 00:52

Have you tried not drinking coffee after lunch or late afternoon? I'm awake because I broke my golden rule and had a coffee at tea time.

I think I'm quite lucky because I find the constant rethem of dh breathing or snoring Luls me to sleep. If he turns turns over and stops when i'm drifting off, the loss of sound wakes me up!

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Dothehokeykokey · 10/02/2017 00:55

For a bit of balance I am wide awake next to what appears tonne a constipated warthog right now.

I am a man and she is my wife of 15 years. Walls don't make a difference although I imagine if she lost some weight it would.

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Note3 · 10/02/2017 00:57

My husband would love to join this thread. He says I snore, talk in my sleep and sometimes even sit up and look at him whilst asleep! How he went on to marry me having experienced all this, I'll never know!

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Autumnleaves105 · 10/02/2017 01:05

Thank you for the link, def worth a go!

Haha, I snore if I've had a few to drink but he says it's not very loud and obviously doesn't stop him from sleeping!

Most of the time I'm knackered due to ill health and a boisterous toddler but just can't switch off, or I do then something wakes me up and that's it! You know, once you've noticed a sound you can't block it out, like a dripping tap? That's what it's like with his annoying breathing -how dare he breathe! 😛

I am lucky he doesn't snore like a warthog though!

I'm on the sofa with one of the cats for company, his purring isn't as annoying...

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Autumnleaves105 · 10/02/2017 01:06

My husband talks in his sleep too!

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avamiah · 10/02/2017 01:12

Autumn,
I'm exactly the same as I can't stand any noise whatsoever when I am in bed.I can't even have a clock on the wall or next to me because of the annoying ticking sound.
I'm lucky that my OH doesn't snore but he has very annoying eating habits like slurping his tea and smacking his lips when eating which I cannot stand and i sometimes have to leave the room.
I suggest you move to another bed if you have one or tell him to go to the sofa and buy a sofa bed.

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avamiah · 10/02/2017 01:18

And now you have me thinking, I can't stand noisey air conditioning systems in hotel rooms either and always check that the windows can be opened before I book a room.

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Autumnleaves105 · 10/02/2017 01:22

I'm the same with loud eaters etc. Why so noisy?! We have a spare room with a sofa bed that was used for ages as he was banned from the bedroom but then it got strange not being together so tried to tolerate him lol. The spare room is quite a mess ATM and sofa bed is noisy when turning- I'm such a fidget so trying sofa ATM. Who knew sleeping could be so difficult? For us lot anyway! 😝

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avamiah · 10/02/2017 01:28

I also find people who constantly cough very annoying as I would never be in somebody's company if I was coughing all the time.
I would be in bed at home if I couldn't have a conversation without coughing.

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Autumnleaves105 · 10/02/2017 01:42

Now the cat's snoring 😮 looks like it will be bucket loads of coffee in the morning!

Hope you all manage to get some sleep :)

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Autumnleaves105 · 10/02/2017 01:44

Now the cat's snoring! Looks like it will be bucket loads of coffee for me in the morning!

Hope you all manage to get some sleep :)

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DJBaggySmalls · 10/02/2017 01:45

I've been clocked snoring at 90 decibels

I sleep alone Sad

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avamiah · 10/02/2017 01:47

Yes.
Goodnight All .
💤

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nooka · 10/02/2017 02:06

I recently bought sound cancelling earbud type headphones. They were very expensive (from BOSE) but have made a huge difference. They come with different sized squishy rubber cover thingies and so I have various levels of anti snore protection. I can just put in one earbud, turn on the sound cancellation, add white noise from my ipod (currently waves plus a waterfall), turn the white noise up higher and if it gets so bad I can hear the bed vibrate add the other earbud (takes a bit of pillow manipulation as I sleep on one side).

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Autumnleaves105 · 10/02/2017 11:54

I'll have to have a proper look around for some decent headphone bands I can sleep in :)

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user1477282676 · 10/02/2017 11:56

Separate rooms? My Dh has sleep disorder and when he's bad, he moves into the spare room. I'd rather he did that than suffered lack of sleep...plus he's bloody scary when he sleepwalks.

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BaggypantsCrimplesnitch · 10/02/2017 12:21

I feel your pain, OP! If I manage to fall asleep before DH then I'm fine, but if he goes to sleep first then I've had it. He doesn't snore as such, he takes deep breaths through his nose and then blows his lips out out with a kind of "Pfffff..." sound. Angry I think if he DID just snore properly it would actually be less annoying!

I swear, one of these days I'm going to buy him one of those anti-snoring pillows. And smother him with it.

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lurkingfromhome · 10/02/2017 12:21

Mine shuffles his feet and twitches his legs in his sleep and the sound of his foot rhythmically scraping across the sheet in a kchhhhhh, kchhhhh, kchhhhh noise is enough to make me want to go downstairs and get a bread knife to saw his feet off.

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