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Going on a couples holiday without my DS?

(2 Posts)
doobyden Thu 09-Feb-17 20:49:37

First time posting this side of remembering I had a MN login. I know this will be one of those issues but I'm interested in totally objective thoughts.

A bit of background, sorry if it's long- my XP (DS's dad) has no job, no money, does 'nothing' with DS (as a result of depression and being skint). He's a passive parent, which is generally ok with me as I have a tendency to run a tighter ship. When DS is there, he is mostly on a tablet/console and left to it. Very much cared for though. We neither get on particularly well, or have a bad relationship- probably as neutral as we could be in that department tbh. But as a result of having no life his challenges, XP can be very dogmatic and judgemental. He pays no maintenance, obvs, but does see/has DS when I work, which saves me a fair bit. XP lives 30 miles away, doesn't drive and wouldn't make the journey anyway (as I moved away with DS) so I do all of the legwork in this. However he has tried to make me feel like he's doing me a favour and can be a bit of a cock regarding having DS as he feels I call all the shots as to when that is. As I deliver DS and pick up too, this has to be the case really, but he knows I'll be as flexible as possible if he lets me know he needs it; he just doesn't.

I have worked my arse off for 6 years to change careers towards the job I have, and I have a DP who is lovely and we're all really happy. We took DS abroad last year to a Holiday Village for a week, first holiday for me and DS ever. We likely can't afford the same this year. So onto the issue du jour. If my DP and I were to go away for say, a long weekend, while DS were to stay with XP, would XP have a right to bitch? I know he would, and I almost feel pre-emptively guilty. But we will be doing lots of day trips and probably a weekend or 2 camping with DS so I know I shouldn't.

Do other mums in similar situations to mine go away without their DC while they are with their dad?

HighwayDragon1 Thu 09-Feb-17 20:52:51

Me and DH go away every year for 5 days, we do city breaks abroad sightseeing taking in culture and shopping. Something a 7 year old would hate we go on holiday as a family too but need that time to reconnect and just be ourselves.

Go, your DS is with his dad dgs!

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