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AIBU?

Am I being precious?

46 replies

TheObserverOne · 09/02/2017 19:51

I'm torn so posting here for traffic.
We have a lot of family due to visit this weekend, to go to a sporting event which has been looked forward to for a very long time.
Sister in law has just text me to say that her daughter has come home from school with chicken pox today. With all the family visiting, the only person who will not be immune is DS who is 3 years old.
Now I know chicken pox isn't a particularly big deal... Everyone gets it and it's part of childhood. But the trouble is my DS has been so poorly recently with cold after cold and a lingering chesty cough for almost a month which is only now starting to clear. I'm anxious for him to catch it firstly as he's been down in the dumps recently, but also he is due to travel back with my mother to her home town 150miles away and stay there for the week. I would hate the thought of him suffering with chicken pox when I'm not there to comfort him.
So the predicament is that sister in law and family cannot get childcare for niece, and will miss the sporting event if they cannot all stay with us.
Do I let them come, as chicken pox is an inevitable part of childhood which DS will catch sooner or later... or do I tell them to stay away because I don't want him to be infected?
Obviously I would rather not have him infected, but I feel so awful at saying niece can't stay and sister in law has just text to say she's in tears and so upset

OP posts:

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AuntNancy · 09/02/2017 19:54

Can your DS travel home with your mum a day or two early? It will be a shame to miss everyone, but more of a shame if he goes down with chicken pox when he's not 100%.

Sirzy · 09/02/2017 19:56

One of them would have to miss the event anyway to look after her surely? Can they not stay at home with her and the rest stay?

JumpingJellybeanz · 09/02/2017 19:59

The incubation period for chickenpox is 14-16 days so he won't be suffering from it while he's a away if you do decide to risk it. But personally I wouldn't. Chickenpox may be relatively minor but it's still bloody awful to endure.

PastysPrincess · 09/02/2017 20:01

I don't think they should come...

The child who has chicken pox is poorly; therefore should be at home resting.
You shouldn't risk infecting your child. Chicken pox isn't usually serious but it can be.
They absolutely should not be taking a sick child to a public event so they can pass it round everyone else.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/02/2017 20:01

If your ds has been poorly recently, he could get a much worse dose of chicken pox. Yes, it is a minor, normal childhood illness for the vast majority of children, but there are a few for whom it has serious consequences, and I wouldn't risk it.

As pps have said, the child won't be able to go to the sporting event - they could pass chicken pox on to someone who is immune-suppressed, and could be seriously ill, or to someone who is pregnant but not immune to cp, so someone will have to stay home with her anyway.

Also, if she is feeling ill, it seems mean to drag the poor child away from her home, on a car journey, so she can be ill in someone else's house.

TheObserverOne · 09/02/2017 20:03

The children wouldn't be attending the event, mother in law would be at my home babysitting them whilst all other adults attend said event.
I don't want my child to be infected but just feel awful saying that she can't come up because everyone's been looking forward to it for such a long time.

OP posts:

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 09/02/2017 20:05

She should stay home.

And no, not everyone gets chicken pox!

InTheRedTent · 09/02/2017 20:40

Having seen a friends child in hospital with chicken pox as they went onto their lungs, I'd certainly not intentionally expose my child, if they caught it at some point hopefully it would be fine, but no reason to do it at a vulnerable time.

butterfly990 · 09/02/2017 21:01

Can you get him vaccinated?

www.citydoc.org.uk/travel-vaccinations/varicella-chickenpox/

RoboticSealpup · 09/02/2017 21:20

sister in law has just text to say she's in tears and so upset

Who is? Niece or SIL?

Whathastheworldcometo · 09/02/2017 21:57

Why are they taking them to a public event. They could pass it on to hundreds of people. And shingles is more common in men and the elderly......so that in itself is a big no no

Whathastheworldcometo · 09/02/2017 21:58

Sorry just saw they won't go to the event. But they will be in public if they are leaving the house at all. Wouldn't grandparents be at risk of shingles...?

sum1killthepawpatrollers · 09/02/2017 22:01

yanbu, they deffo should not be going to a public event whilst contagious and also shouldnt be coming to yours either since dc hasnt had them and is not too well anyway so his immune system may be suppressed

you cant get shingles from chicken pox but you can get chicken pox from shingles

MidniteScribbler · 09/02/2017 22:02

No way would they be allowed in my house. Sick children should stay at home, and one parent forgoes the sporting event and stays with them. It sucks, but that's the realities of parenting.

TheEdgeofSeventeen · 09/02/2017 22:04

21 here and never had chicken pox - so not everyone gets it - I'm not sure why they're fobbing off their sick daughter to your MIL to look after ...

Peppapogstillonaloop · 09/02/2017 22:04

Yanbu esp If he isn't still a bit poorly you are defo not being precious..CP can be super nasty and if already a bit ill could be really horrid. It is one of those crap things as a parent the inevitability that when you look forward to something your kid will almost certainly get sick! Totally understand why she is upset but not your fault..

Peppapogstillonaloop · 09/02/2017 22:05

Also as pp said they should be looking after their dd. If she was only sent home today the worst will be at the weekend when all the spots are out and itchy not fair for mil to have to deal with rhat

Whathastheworldcometo · 09/02/2017 22:07

Ah sorry I was always told you could get Shingles from chicken pox. But still someone who hasn't had chicken pox in the local shop for example could catch it and get it worse then their daughter. What if she had a d and v bug would they still come? If sil is in tears I think that is a bit extreme. Part of being a parent is taking care of your child when their sick and missing events sometimes. That's life

WeddingsAreStressful · 09/02/2017 22:07

I can't believe SIL is putting you in this position. Any reasonable, responsible person would say "my child has CP so I'm afraid we're gonna have to stay home" and certainly NOT resort to emotional blackmail about how she's in tears for missing the event. SIL's a dick. And you need to protect your DS. 3 is still very young, he won't even understand what's happening to him.

Funnyface1 · 09/02/2017 22:07

I wouldn't let them come, your child's health should come first. Especially risky to expose him if he's been ill.

StripeyDeckchair · 09/02/2017 22:14

Your child has been poorly recently, it would be irresponsible of you to knowingly expose them to chicken pox which they'd be highly likely to catch.

It is unfair of SIL to rai the possibility of bringing your chicken pox niece to visit, one parent should stay at home with her whilst the rest of the family do the trip & event.

GinIsIn · 09/02/2017 22:22

Please read this thread before dismissing it as 'not a big deal' - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2850167-To-keep-my-kids-away-from-chicken-pox-party

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brooklyn66 · 09/02/2017 22:30

they should not be taking her to a public event if she has chicken pox! It's not nice, avoid it

blowmybarnacles · 09/02/2017 22:45

YANBU.

When sick, kids stay at home and don't infect other people. Its shot they'll miss the event but that is life. They certainly should not be putting the guilt on you.
Who will look after niece whilst they are all at the event?

raviolidreaming · 09/02/2017 22:54

TheEdgeofSeventeen
21 here and never had chicken pox - so not everyone gets it

I finally got chicken pox at 24, so don't get complacent!

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