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Feeling guilty to put dd into nursery for more hours as driving me up wall

(12 Posts)
upwardsandonwards33 Thu 09-Feb-17 18:47:10

I feel guilty but my dd1 ( 4 yo) is very chatty, bright and needs a lot of attention and play supervision. I also have dd2 (1 yo) who has some special needs. Dd 1 currently does about 20 hours at the nursery. I try to have something to do each afternoon but if I can't make a group e.g dd2 was unwell today, then dd1 will push me to the edge with her incessant chatting and demands to do something with me. Is it bad to put her in nursery for extra afternoon here and there? I feel I ought to be enjoying my time with her more before she starts school in Sept but I just don't know how to. Do you enjoy your time with your pre-schoolers? What do you do with them!?

Oly5 Thu 09-Feb-17 18:50:45

Aged 4 mine were in nursery pretty full time. YANBU
They will barely remember this stage. Just make sure the time you DO have together is fun. Better to have two hours of a great time than 10 where the mother is tearing her hair out.
Don't feel guilty.

scurryfunge Thu 09-Feb-17 18:51:24

Don't feel guilty. You do what is best for you and your family. If your daughter gets fantastic stimulation at nursery, then who is to say that is a bad thing? I put my son in full time nursery whilst working part time. So far, at the age of 22, he has not killed anyone and is a fully functioning productive adult.

Slightlyperturbedowlagain Thu 09-Feb-17 18:55:25

If she is at nursery mornings only at the moment then having one whole day at nursery once a week will help her with settling into school and give you some extra time with your DD2. Is there anyone who could look after your DD2 now and then so you can also have some quality one to one time with DD1? Alternatively it might be worth checking if your nursery can do occasional extra afternoons if your DD2 is ill again to keep DD1 busy? I think you have to do whatever works to keep you sane tbh, easier said than done but you don't need to feel guilty about having extra help when you need it flowers

mumontherun14 Thu 09-Feb-17 19:01:27

Maybe if she still has a lot of energy in the afternoons she could do a class with others kids like Jo Jingles or gymnastics. I used to take my DD to Jo jingles and enjoyaball in the afternoons before she started school and she was in nursery every morning for a few hours. Or sometimes could you meet up with a pal who had a wee one the same age and they could play and let you get a chat. xxx

ollieplimsoles Thu 09-Feb-17 19:03:57

Bloody hell op yaNbu!

You have your younger dd to consider as well and you don't want to over stretch yourself. I second maybe getting her in a class like gymnastics for these such afternoons and getting her in some full days at nursery to get her ready to start school?

TheProblemOfSusan Thu 09-Feb-17 19:32:08

I think it sounds mine an excellent idea - she'll love it, by the sounds of it, it'll help her get used to having the whole day at school, and you'll be able to better enjoy the time you have with her and be a bit more rested. Looking after two these ages must be exhausting - I don't see a downside here.

The only other thing might be to try and get some care for your younger child for an afternoon or two so you can devote a bit of one on one time to your daughter but that may be completely impractical, and I think you should still have the extra nursery time for the older one any way.

Who knows, you could get time off both of them and lie on the sofa without speaking for three hours wink

livingthegoodlife Thu 09-Feb-17 19:40:16

I had to do the same with my DD aged about 2.5. she is extremely bright and therefore asks a million questions. I find it wearing.... Thank goodness she starts school this year!

StarCrossdSkys Thu 09-Feb-17 19:45:52

Extend her hours. She's 4 so old in the year anyway and sounds very bright. Have you asked her if she wants to stay for lunch and the afternoon? She sounds like she would probably say yes!

FatOldBag Thu 09-Feb-17 19:54:31

Yanbu at all. Kids are very demanding and nursery is a great, safe, educating space for them. A few extra hours won't do any harm, and if it saves your sanity a bit, go for it! Mine were both in nursery full time at 4 as I had to work full time then.

MrsKoala Thu 09-Feb-17 20:00:36

My 4yo goes 4 full days a week. He was bored shitless at home with me. I just couldn't provide him with the fun and stimulation he has at preschool. He still asks if he can go on Saturday and Sunday. We have recently started doing day trips on a Friday, so he comes to them now (i have a 2yo and a 14wk old so home is seriously lacking in attention for him compared to the captive audience he seems to have at preschool).

BackforGood Thu 09-Feb-17 20:04:35

Not sure if you are asking if YABU to allow her to spend more time at Nursery, or if YABU to feel guilty ?

However, if you can afford it, I'd let her go the extra hours.
Mine all did school hours in their Nursery year. Absolutely ready for it.

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