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AIBU to get p*ssed off with comments on bump size

(33 Posts)
Babybeesmama Wed 08-Feb-17 23:18:42

Pregnant with DC 3.. was already a bit overweight on getting preggers so being careful what I eat as to not stack on the lbs like I did with previous too. Am now 18 weeks & have popped & suddenly have a bump! Have kept an eye on my weight & have actually stayed the same since xmas day which I'm pleased with.

So today.. someone makes a nice commented that my bump looks lovely & all of a sudden round & properly pregnant.. before I can say thanks supposed best friend says sarcastically..

'Nothing to do with all the cheese & biscuits, cake & flapjack you've eaten!'.. in front of all my work colleagues.

Thanks... AIBU to be peed off? And best friend knows I'm trying to be careful & am conscious I look bigger than 18 weeks.

CoffeeCoffeeAndLotsOfIt Wed 08-Feb-17 23:20:48

I'd be a bit peeved, but would ignore it.

Does she have children? Could it be jealousy?

Babybeesmama Wed 08-Feb-17 23:22:45

She doesn't no.. & would like them but her & DH are having fancy holidays at moment instead.

To be honest I think you're right with jealously thing.. she has a face like a smacked arse when anyone asks me about the pregnancy 🙄

user892 Wed 08-Feb-17 23:23:38

Eek. That's something I would say in the presence of a close friend (who knows I don't mean it), thinking I was being hilario - only to look back on it later with mortification. If she's a friend she'd be gutted to know you were pissed off.

MsVestibule Wed 08-Feb-17 23:24:58

And you say you two are best friends...? Do you actually like each other?

Babybeesmama Wed 08-Feb-17 23:31:17

Yes we do 99% of the time.. she just has a habit of speaking without engaging her brain regarding how it might make someone else feel.

Allthewaves Wed 08-Feb-17 23:39:57

prob just a foot in mouth moment, trying to make a joke and not thinking

JassyRadlett Wed 08-Feb-17 23:43:15

That's really bloody rude, and mean. People are complimenting you and making positive comments, and she has to puncture it? Not nice.

Does she have form?

Spam88 Wed 08-Feb-17 23:45:59

I make those comments about my own bump (it was definitely at least 80% cheese initially) but it's pretty rude of her to say it about you shock

I get really annoyed when people say how 'neat' my bump is. I don't want it to be neat, I want it to be massive 😁

karmacoma1 Wed 08-Feb-17 23:54:10

If she has a face like a smacked arse when people talk to you about the pregnancy, she's definitely jealous, if not of the actual pregnancy then of the attention you are receiving because of it.

I wouldn't let it worry you.

Araminta99 Thu 09-Feb-17 00:07:00

She doesn't sound jealous if she is having fancy holidays. She could have kids if she wanted to but has chosen the holidays instead. I hate the attitude of "they're just jealous" as a reason for everything hmm To me it sounds as if she had a foot in mouth moment. Don't let it bother you.

karmacoma1 Thu 09-Feb-17 00:41:20

If this supposed friend is pulling faces when op receives attention about her pregnancy, and also makes nasty comments to try and drag her down again when she received compliments regarding the pregnancy- that's classic lashing out. Something that is normally driven by a strong emotion - such as jealousy. This friend can have fancy holidays yet also be jealous at the same time.

Another possibility is despite what the friend says, maybe she does want children, could even be ttc but just doesn't talk about it.

Or, she could just be being a shitty friend. I'd let it slide but note it, I guess.

imisschocolate Thu 09-Feb-17 06:30:13

I totally get this. I was about 24 wks and my MIL walked in room and said "you're blooming! Who ate all the pies!". I thought it was very rude and I was not amused as any references to bump size was always about my size rather than directed to bump.

Am now 41+1 and am fecking massive!

Fieldandgrasses Thu 09-Feb-17 07:07:37

My PIL used to compare my bump to the size of one of their staff members: X has such a neat bump! All the time. Now I'm pregnant again it's reminded me of how annoying I found it and plan to keep interaction with them whilst pregnant to a minimum. I know people don't realise how irritating it can be. If in doubt about anything, keep your mouth shut!

ellesbellesxxx Thu 09-Feb-17 07:12:31

People just don't think do they? I am pregnant with twins and prefer the "blooming" comments.. one person told me I looked small for a twin bump which freaked me out.. told my husband and he laughed his socks off pointing out that I have a bump that measures as if it were 30 weeks!

rollonthesummer Thu 09-Feb-17 07:17:45

She doesn't no.. & would like them but her & DH are having fancy holidays at moment instead.

She may be having fancy holidays to cheer her up as she's not pregnant.

Not a nice thing for her to say-I'd probably say, 'bloody charming-thanks!!' Whenever
She says anything like that again. Then she'll know it's not nice.

AllTheBabies Thu 09-Feb-17 07:33:03

That is rude!

Yesterday I had two people ask me how far along I am literally minutes apart. One of them said "wow, your bump is big!" the next one said "oh, your so neat though!".

My work colleagues like to point out how much bigger I am this time round. I say that seeing as it's dc3 and dd2 has only just turned one it's not exactly surprising! But no, apparently it's because I must be having a boy (I'm not, it's another girl).

picklemepopcorn Thu 09-Feb-17 07:50:09

I thought 'no, it's just all the pies' was a traditional comment... blush

icy121 Thu 09-Feb-17 08:57:32

"She doesn't no.. & would like them but her & DH are having fancy holidays at moment instead.

To be honest I think you're right with jealously thing.. she has a face like a smacked arse when anyone asks me about the pregnancy 🙄"

She's probably ttc and struggling tbh. Distance yourself and your pregnancy from her. You're not happy, she's not happy. Why force it?

Kitsandkids Thu 09-Feb-17 09:56:08

Personally I've found that thinner people get bumps earlier. I'm pretty overweight, almost 20 weeks and have no baby bump - just my normal fat! So I doubt you're as overweight as you think!

HolesinTheSoles Thu 09-Feb-17 10:00:06

It makes her look awful in front of everyone not you. If someone said that to anyone, whether overweight or not I'd assume they were jealous.

ZefStar Thu 09-Feb-17 10:00:33

Sounds like she's just making a joke and you're A bit oversensitive because you've been watching your weight. Chill.

SpaceDuck Thu 09-Feb-17 10:05:57

I don't think people really think when it comes to pregnant women and their bumps. I think they must think that they're so happy to be having a baby, comments like that won't bother them. I used to get the usual, 'oooo look how BIG you're getting', 'are you sure there's only one baby in there', 'wow you're huge'. Really used to upset me, but like I said, don't think people really use their brains and think, 'this woman is hormonal, probably feeling a bit frumpy and finding it hard to deal with the changes her body is going through, maybe I shouldn't tell her she is huuuuge'. You wouldn't say that to a fat person so I don't understand why it's ok to say to a pregnant woman hmm

SquedgieBeckenheim Thu 09-Feb-17 10:13:27

when I was still working I was getting daily comments from the assistant manager as to how huge I am. Other comments were mixed, but this one person kept going on about how big I am every time I saw her small office, saw her multiple times a day. Another person was saying how neat my bump was, and the assistant manager contradicted her. I felt like turning round and calling her fat. I didn't, I just went into my office and cried instead.
People lose all tact and consideration around pregnant women.
Your friend does sound jealous. I wouldn't mind betting she is struggling to conceive and the expensive holidays are a distraction.

KatsutheClockworkOctopus Thu 09-Feb-17 11:00:29

SIL used to love telling me (and everyone around) how huge my bump was. It made me feel rubbish so YANBU.

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