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Aibu - the person that "makes" tea does not have to clear up

(57 Posts)
Raisensaretoddlercrack Wed 08-Feb-17 21:59:59

Please help me settle a long standing disagreement with my DH....

In our house we have the fairly standard rule that he or she who does not make tea has to clear the plates etc away after. The process of ordering of a takeaway for both of us counts as "making tea" and therefore the person that does the ordering does not have to clear up afterwards. AIBU?

ProudBadMum Wed 08-Feb-17 22:01:02

I don't know as I never had a rule for takeaways but as I order it all the time I'm using this one grin

MongerTruffle Wed 08-Feb-17 22:01:04

Why don't you just take it in turns to clear up?

BrownEyedLady Wed 08-Feb-17 22:01:09

Erm? Maybe split it or eat out of the packages so no one clears up?

Sleeplessinmybedroom Wed 08-Feb-17 22:02:45

Whoever doesn't cook in our house washes up.

Theimpossiblegirl Wed 08-Feb-17 22:03:19

I'd rather clear up after cooking myself as I don't use very pot, pan, dish or utensil we own when I cook (unlike DH). I also clear as I go so by the time we eat there's not much left to do.

If we get a take-away, we both clear up. It's a night off for both of us.

WhatHaveIFound Wed 08-Feb-17 22:03:31

How much mess do you make with a takeaway? Does it cause arguments? Maybe that's we never get them and happily share both the cooking and tidying up after meals grin

Impatientwino Wed 08-Feb-17 22:09:34

I place the order, DH answers the door, I dish up and he clears up afterwards.

Sounds like a regimented system when you see it written down! smile

LivininaBox Wed 08-Feb-17 22:10:39

I have always believed in the one who cooks doesn't clear up rule. DH on the other hand thinks the one who cooks should clear up their own mess. After about 18 months of living together I realised one day that I NEVER cleared up. It was great while it lasted! Now we share it.

molemonkey Wed 08-Feb-17 22:11:20

I cook in our house and DH washes up and when we get a takeaway one of us will wash up while the other takes out the containers and wipe down the units where there is usually rice and sauce split in the hurry to get said takeaway blush

FearTheLiving Wed 08-Feb-17 22:13:12

I do the dishes as I go along when I cook.
My Boyf uses every single fucking pot pan and plate in the house so he does the washing up when he cooks.

ChuckSnowballs Wed 08-Feb-17 22:14:31

I call the order in, he collects, I take the plates out to the kitchen, warm them, take them back when done and he takes the packaging out to the bins.

Teamwork. He also pays in this system. Win-win.

Not that we have take out often.

PUGaLUGS Wed 08-Feb-17 22:15:51

Same as Chuck

MrsBernardBlack Wed 08-Feb-17 22:17:04

Agree it is far less work if whoever cooks washes up.

Take aways? How much mess do you make confused? Can't you just share?

DJKKSlider Wed 08-Feb-17 22:19:53

I cook and clean up.
Or I should say I clean up and then cook as I only do the washing up once a day and I do it at 5pm right before I cook.

FunnysInLaJardin Wed 08-Feb-17 22:21:54

I cook, I tidy up. OTOH DH gets up every weekend with the kids as he is an early riser. One way or the other we both win.

We never have takeaways as we live in the sticks

PurpleDaisies Wed 08-Feb-17 22:24:08

Ordering a takeaway does not count as cooking. We clear up together.

Normally whoever cooks doesn't clear up.

Fueledwithfairydustandgin Wed 08-Feb-17 22:27:02

DH never clears up. We have a magic fairy who does it hmm

skerrywind Wed 08-Feb-17 22:29:53

I do 90% of the cooking and 80% of the clearing up ( dishwasher). OH works much longer hours than I do so I feel it's only fair.

DramaAlpaca Wed 08-Feb-17 22:30:36

In our house whoever cooks clears up.

We started off doing the 'you cook, I'll clean up' thing, until I realised DH is a much messier cook than me so I changed the rules.

If we have a takeaway we usually share the cleaning up.

skerrywind Wed 08-Feb-17 22:35:36


In our house whoever cooks clears up.

That may or may not be fair though. If both are working long hours and one ends up doing all the cooking and clearing. Fine if both cook, or one works a lot less hours.

honeylulu Wed 08-Feb-17 22:38:59

We take turns to cook and clear up. Prefer it that way as the non-cooker gets a complete night off. Also like PP I tend to clear/wash up as I go and I am lazy tend to do one pot meals whilst H thinks he is Gordon Ramsey.

Solina Wed 08-Feb-17 22:39:53

I cook and DP does the washing up. Works for us.

Raisensaretoddlercrack Wed 08-Feb-17 23:17:28

Maybe I should have put lighthearted in the title - we are not actually arguing over this, more just teasing eachother. It looks like on balance IABU. If DH remembers that I put this up on AIBU, when he wakes tomorrow he will be absolutely thrilled that orsering take away does not count as making tea! Thank you all. smile

Seren85 Wed 08-Feb-17 23:31:24

Whoever cooks doesn't have to clean up but with takeaways I do it because I hate ordering/answering the door and DH tends to see takeaway night as a night off so will leave the dishes/sides until the next day. That is fine but I'd rather not so I choose to do it on those occasions. I swear I thought adult life would be far more exciting....

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