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To be so flipping fed up of this friend?

(10 Posts)
CatchTheRainbow Wed 08-Feb-17 17:54:38

Been with her boyfriend 5 years. He's cheated on her constantly through out, lied about many things, rude (tells her to fuck off).

They have broken up countless times. I have been there every single time and she always says I'm done and never going back and within days they are back together.

He has now left her for someone else. So they are over for good. She is obviously upset ... but no matter what I say all I get back is - yeah but he'll be happy with her.

My advice, kind words and opinions is always met with that same response.

I've spent 5 bloody years talking about this relationship and I want to scream at this point. I love her but I'm finding this situation so draining now.

Shoxfordian Wed 08-Feb-17 18:01:20

Maybe take a break from her and focus on other friendships for a while

raffleswinch Wed 08-Feb-17 18:04:00

Don't make her problems your problems. Give yourself a break and socialise with some lower-maintenance friends for a while

CatchTheRainbow Wed 08-Feb-17 18:08:08

She's been texting me today saying how upset she is

Ilovecaindingle Wed 08-Feb-17 18:12:10

Why are you upset Friend? Now you have the chance to meet a respectful bf who won't treat you like shit! .

TisMeTheLadFromTheBar Wed 08-Feb-17 18:13:53

Copy and paste your response each time. She'll eventually get the message

BrownEyedLady Wed 08-Feb-17 19:38:19

Agree with Tisme. Find a stock response, use it each time and change the subject each time. "Yeah but he'll be happy with her", "Yeah well good for him. What are you having for dinner? I'm having blah blah blah". If she keeps bringing it back round, have a break from her.

citybushisland Wed 08-Feb-17 19:46:17

You understandably have sympathy fatigue, there's only so long you can carry on being sympathetic to someone who keeps on with the same thing when they don't have to. It depends on how good a friend she is, what else does she bring to your friendship (fun, support, loyalty etc) if it's just you are her shoulder to cry on then maybe a break is in order.

livefornaps Wed 08-Feb-17 20:07:32

I think you can make it clear that you think she is fantastic, she deserves so much better & that it's not like you've not been here before. If she brings him up, just keep repeating "you are fantastic, you deserve better & you've been here before". Don't get drawn into a conversation. Then suggest fun things to do.

Or just hit the gin really hard.

Glitterspy Wed 08-Feb-17 20:12:40

At some point you have to stop indulging her and see what happens. If the relationship (ie hers and yours) gets back on a more even keel rather than this current, frustrating therapist/client dynamic, then great. If not then it's time to distance yourself. I had this happen recently and I realised it wasn't that particular friend was having a particularly rough time and particularly needed me - I realised she would always have something, need something and it would never, ever be about me, it'd always be about her. It took my dad being seriously ill/operated on in hospital and her continuing to text me constantly for advice about her life/relationship/ career questions that I felt enough was enough.

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