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AIBU should i not feel hurt by this?

(12 Posts)
lgalla2910 Wed 08-Feb-17 17:22:01

So I went into hospital to have a wee op and ended up having anaphylaxis during surgery nearly died and ended up in ICU.

When I woke up in the ICU my dad and his girlfriend were sitting by my bed and had been there since 10 minutes after my partner let him know what had happened.

Between himself and my partner they had decided that it was best that a parent stayed with our children this i accept as our children are very (i want to say clingy but thats not the right word) and agree with his decision to do this 100%.

My dad and his partner visited every visiting time the whole time I was in hospital and made all arrangements for picking me up from hospital with my OH kept him up to date. My partners 70 yo mother has even made the effort to come and make sure I am doing ok (we actually have quite a good relationship for mil/dil) she helps with the kids as did my middle sister and dad.

I got a phone call from my mum asking me never to do that to her again not to sound petty and brat like but 1. I am her oldest daughter. 2. I do alot for my mum which I shouldn't have to. 3. I have not even had a phone call/message from my youngest sister even an acknowledgement of the fact that I was in hospital let alone nearly died. 4 If any of my two children were in ICU no matter there age I would be there.

Seriously wtf I actually feel taken advantage of I go out of my way to help both my youngest sister and mum. I know at the age I am I probably should be focused on me and my OH and kids but fuck sake its not as if I live on the moon and I live right next to a bloody bus stop.

TurnipCake Wed 08-Feb-17 17:25:37

FFS, you nearly died and it's all about her shock

Floggingmolly Wed 08-Feb-17 17:28:48

What did you do to her? confused. Was she looking after your kids?

nobodysnogslikejoebloggs Wed 08-Feb-17 17:31:13

What do you mean? What did you do to her??

MissJSays Wed 08-Feb-17 17:33:00

It's not clear what you did OP, did you mean she said 'don't do that to me again' because you nearly dying gave her a fright? Or am I mistaken

BorrowedHeart Wed 08-Feb-17 17:37:52

Can you be a bit more clearer with what the actual issue is? I see a lot of rambling then I'm lost.

KurriKurri Wed 08-Feb-17 17:43:51

Not quite understanding - I assume 'never do that to me again' means because I was really frightened, - I have said similar to close family after health emergencies, its not meant selfishly it just means ' I was really frightened because I love you so much'

Your Mum and Sister could have visited though if they don;t live too far away - so that is a shame. How long were you in hospital ? I hope you are feeling better now.

Would your Mum maybe not have wanted to bump into your Dad and partner if they were there all the time (sorry - no idea of the situation between them, and just trying to think of any possible reason she may have had for not visiting - clutching at straws a bit though. )

fc301 Wed 08-Feb-17 17:44:11

YANBU. You now know who in your family really cares about you. DO NOT rely on your mum & sister in future. They do not have your back. Get well soon.

F1ipFlopFrus Wed 08-Feb-17 17:45:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blink1982 Wed 08-Feb-17 17:50:52

I think her comment was out of being scared of losing you too. It's somethingng I've heard a few people sat. I don't think you should be upset by the comment. Perhaps upset she didn't visit... but could she?

Italiangreyhound Wed 08-Feb-17 17:51:21

lgalla very sorry this happened to you. Cannot believe your mum and sister did not visit.

lgalla2910 Wed 08-Feb-17 17:57:12

tbh I am more upset and hurt at the fact that she didn't visit and hasnt even attempted to since I got out of the hospital.

Yes my mum was informed of what happened by my partner before he told my dad.

I know that the comment was made out of relief and fear incase she lost me.

I think I just really need my mum that's why it hurts so much.

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