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To not be able to wait for Menopause?

(128 Posts)
StewPots Wed 08-Feb-17 14:30:14

Ok, so I know that title sounds a bit silly, but at the grand old age of 33, I just want to be done with the whole monthly thing. I know (from my mum and MIL) that menopause is absolutely not a bed of roses, far from it, but PMS ruins my life for at least three weeks a month and I'm truly fed up.

I've been to the GP and there's nothing to recommend (can't take Pill due to family history of DVT , strokes etc). I'm currently on an implant which is the most reliable contraception I've ever had (GP did recommend Coil but risk of getting pregnant a lot higher apparently - I have 2 DCs, 15 & 3 and certainly don't want anymore). I've had AD for issues unrelated but have been free of them for a year and don't feel a need for them anymore (much happier settled life with DH following years in an abusive relationship).

I am just fed up, sick and tired, of the constant acne round my face for at least 3 weeks a month, despite clear skin until my late 20s, trying loads of methods/products/supplements etc, even ABX from GP which didn't work. I'm fed up of this awful blackness that swallows me whole for at least 4 days at a time once a month - proper sobbing fits followed by an absolute feeling of rage. It's exhausting as I need to keep it all in for the family, although poor DH bears the brunt of it.
The stages of undereating/overeating g at different points in my cycle. The absolute exhaustion I feel (like today) for no real reason at all (currently working PT but have night shift tonight- great) which leave me wiped out and drained. The bloating despite a good balanced diet.
I know this sounds very small fry and there are a lot worse things I could behave, but honestly it rules me for at least 3 weeks a month. I have one week where I feel really happy, energised, slim, clear skin etc etc and that's it.
Am I totally BU in thinking although the menopause is a nightmare, it can't be any worse than this for the next 20 years? The hot flushes I can put up with as also once a month at least I get a temperature surge and I spend my days and nights having real sweats (sorry, TMI).
Sorry for the long post and rant, and sorry if I've offended anyone, I'm just really fed up and frankly down about it. I never used to be like this. Thanks for all of you who made it to the end 😌

MrsJayy Wed 08-Feb-17 14:37:44

I am on my second period of the month i have constant joint pain and pms symptoms I am flooding and need to change my protection every hour or so it is shit and being a woman sucks sometimes but becareful what you wish for. I was also looking forward to menopause meh

Greta84 Wed 08-Feb-17 14:39:04

What about the progesterone only pill? That's ok isn't re DVt?

MrsJayy Wed 08-Feb-17 14:41:10

Your PmS sounds horrific though I wasn't trying to minimise it.. i was speaking to my practise nurse last week about it I was under the impression periods would just tail off and stop im sure the nurse snorted before she went into it all <sigh>

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Wed 08-Feb-17 14:41:15

Ime it's usually people who have no idea what menopause is like who say things like they can't wait wink

If you mean you can't wait until it's all over completely,then I hear you!

username1317 Wed 08-Feb-17 14:42:49

I had a hysterectomy last year. Downside, no more kids. Upside, bliss!

terrylene Wed 08-Feb-17 14:43:51

The years (and there can be many) leading up to menopause are just PMS city Arizona, I'm afraid.

I took the pill and wiped it out (with some minor issues to deal with).

The gold standard is to go for Mirena, with oestrogel or a patch to provide the oestrogen part of hrt.

If you are ok with the implant, then you should get mirena, this will eventually cut your periods out altogether, then you go onto the gel when you start getting meno symptoms (sometimes you may need it to stop bleeding and spotting later). Then in your mid-fifties, go over to a low dose no-bleed option.

You may need something later - the promised land of 'no periods' includes the hidden Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause (previously known as Vaginal Atrophy/atrophic vaginitis). There is also Osteoporosis - a bigger threat for those whose menopause is early.

(And menopause does nothing for your skin - I had beautiful skin before I came off the pill [wistful look into the distant past] )

StewPots Wed 08-Feb-17 14:45:22

MrsJ that sounds absolutely awful for you..yes it really does suck to be a woman sometimes. I hope it settles for you soon and you feel better.
Greta - I'm not sure, my GP didn't say (I'm assuming she would have?) maybe I should go back and ask? I'm just terrified of getting pregnant again (had a nasty MC a year after DS was born, didn't know I was pregnant until it happened but still shocking and not something I would want to go through again).

OldBooks Wed 08-Feb-17 14:46:59

I don't have any practical advice but I know exactly what you mean. After Dd2 I was discussing contraception with the GP and asked if there was anything to just make periods go away now I am done having babies. flowers

exexpat Wed 08-Feb-17 14:47:17

Was your GP talking about the copper coil or Mirena? I thought the effectiveness of the Mirena was at least as good as the implant both are 99% according to the NHS website, it releases the same hormone as the implant but in even lower doses, and many people (including me) stop having periods when they have one. It may or may not help with the PMS but surely worth a try?

MrsJayy Wed 08-Feb-17 14:47:43

Not 1 older woman in my life told me about any of it not a jot did I know here was me thinking im going to be a bit hot.

insan1tyscartching Wed 08-Feb-17 14:48:16

You could be lucky though in the menopuase like me. I had horrendous period pains and pms and was looking forward to it too. I had normal periods then two months of hot flushes and that was it no more periods no symptoms since just like I was before without any periods absolute bliss

Chilver Wed 08-Feb-17 14:48:23

Be careful what you wish for.... I too am in my 30's and have gone through menopause and hysterectomy now. Would happily go back to my horrific periods of my past instead of my current situation.....

HeadDreamer Wed 08-Feb-17 14:49:03

YABU. I haven't had a period for years since I was on the pill and now have a coil. There is also the implant. You really don't have to put up with it.

StewPots Wed 08-Feb-17 14:49:16

Dame - my mum and sis had early menopause and it was awful for them for about 2 years then nothing at all, stable, no moods, nothing and they said they felt so much better when it had all ended. I know it sounds silly, I just want to get to that point because PMS really rules my life right now. It's been like this for 2 years, and I'm desperately trying to see some sort of light iyswim.

FireInTheHead Wed 08-Feb-17 14:49:18

Be careful what you wish for - you might just get it. Menopause isn't a one size fits all experience and you might find yourself at the shittiest end of a shitty stick for a very long time.
That said what you describe sounds horrendous. You say you have some kind of implant? Could that be the cause of some of your worse symptoms? I know you say it's the most reliable contraception but surely not worth all this misery if there are other options. Can your DH not have a vasectomy if you're adamant you're done having babies? You could also get your own tubes tied if he's a yellowbelly dickwad against that idea.

HeadDreamer Wed 08-Feb-17 14:50:36

I'm not worried about unwanted pregnancy from coil. I'm sure the failure rate isn't bad!

StewPots Wed 08-Feb-17 14:51:26

Terry - I think I will go back to GP and ask about Mirena and see if it would ease all this crap,
Expat - yes I think she meant copper coil, but as PP say Mirena may indeed be the way forward.

StewPots Wed 08-Feb-17 14:52:31

Fire 😂 We did discuss it and it's certainly an option, although he is younger than me and not sure how many Drs would do the procedure?

StewPots Wed 08-Feb-17 14:54:09

Head - I currently have the Nexaplan (?) implant and I don't have periods at all, just the stuff that goes with them which my Dr said is normal (although doesn't feel like it) 😌

Topseyt Wed 08-Feb-17 14:55:35

DameDiazepam puts it well. I want it all to be over with. I just don't want the shit that happens in the run-up to the menopause (known as peri-menopause, and seems to go on for years). I guess that is what you mean, OP.

I am 50, and definitely in the peri-menopause. Periods closer together, usually very heavy and flooding regularly as MrsJayy describes. It isn't a walk in the park, but I just view each period as one step closer to finally being done with them altogether. It is my coping mechanism.

MrsJayy Wed 08-Feb-17 14:56:16

Have you considered getting sterillised? I was best decision i ever made

StewPots Wed 08-Feb-17 14:56:50

Chilver - that sounds awful to go through in your 30s...I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm minimising what is obviously a huge thing that women have to go through, I'm just so frustrated and fed up of this crap every month. And because I'm a HCP I have to be calm and together at all times because my work could get to me particularly when I'm in the part of my cycle that makes me really depressed.

StewPots Wed 08-Feb-17 14:58:00

Tops - yes Dame did put it well, as do you. I just feel I'm so far away from that stage and I can't envisage another 20 years of this. It really gets me down.

MrsJayy Wed 08-Feb-17 14:58:04

Oh jeez im nearly 46 i hoped it would be over by 50

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