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To leave her to cry??

(11 Posts)
judybloomno5 Wed 08-Feb-17 12:53:13

DD1 and DD2 have been 'challenging' for the past 24 hours. Up all night, every hour both for no apparent reason. Managed to get them both up and dressed this morning and to ballet. DD1 thankfully only tantrum once, DD2 cried all the way through it. Then I went to pick up something from the post office and DD1 had a massive tantrum, lying on the floor kicking and screaming. Then refused to walk to the car so i had to push DD2 in the pram and attempt to carry DD1. I couldn't get DD1 in her car seat because somebody had parked so close to me that i couldn't open the door so I had to get them both through the front of the car and over the back seats.
Got home and there is hardly any food in the house (DH did the food shop last night and forgot lots of stuff) so I;ve had to give DD1 cheese dippers and oat biscuits and an apple for lunch who then wouldn't sit still at the table. I managed to get her to nap but DD2 is refusing, screaming in her cot. She is exhausted but won't sleep. and to top it off I've lost my phone in the midst of trying to prevent DD1 from running under a car when we left the post office.

AIBU to just leave DD2 to cry whilst I calm down in another room (she's safe).

Iwasjustabouttosaythat Wed 08-Feb-17 13:03:47

Sounds awful. Poor you. You don't say how old they are. Do you think just plonking her in front of the tv, while not ideal, is better than leaving her to cry? Set her up with a pillow and a blanket and you get a nice cup of tea? Or is she too little for that?

randomsabreuse Wed 08-Feb-17 13:08:11

Leave music on in her room and go and have a shower or something and she will hopefully give up and go to sleep.

Overtired and sleep fighting is an utter pain!

pinkie1982 Wed 08-Feb-17 13:13:15

I left DS on the floor in the living room the other afternoon. He has his canines coming through and was a terror all day but they must have been agony. I couldn't console him, he had gel, ambesol and calpol/nurofen throughout the day but there was nothing I could do about this tantrum, no soothing/cuddles/milk. he was kicking and crying and throwing his toys around, sobbing. I went into the kitchen and did the washing up, has a little tear myself then went back in where he was sat watching tv by then. I needed that break (and HATE washing up)

Imnotaslimjim Wed 08-Feb-17 13:58:27

YANBU if she is safe then give yourself the few minutes you need to gather yourself. Hopefully she'll settle down soon.

If you think you lost your phone in the supermarket car park, give them a call, you might be lucky and someone has handed it in.

thethoughtfox Wed 08-Feb-17 14:10:45

I read in a baby book that crying in the arms of someone you love is so different to be left alone crying out and no-one coming. It depends how old they are. Always take time away for yourself to calm down if you need it.

sillygoof Wed 08-Feb-17 14:18:17

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. It's not unreasonable to leave her for a short time and have a break. Or, depending on her age, a shower together? It's a life saver sometimes for me, I have a shower and let my oldest (nearly 3) sit in the other end and play with the bath toys. A shower always makes me feel a bit calmer.

Sisinisawa Wed 08-Feb-17 14:44:55

If you're sure she's tired then do what you can to get her to sleep. Can you go out in the car or buggy or use a sling?

If you're at the end of your tether then taking two minutes to calm down is ok but don't leave her to cry herself to sleep. It's not good for them.

DesignedForLife Wed 08-Feb-17 15:09:46

Sometimes you need to do it for your sanity. She'll be ok.

randomsabreuse Wed 08-Feb-17 15:46:34

My 18mo gets more cross if I'm there than if I'm not. The number of times I've been soothing her in overtired grouch mode, got to the point that going to the loo is now essential, left her in her cot and come back post quick wee to a peaceful sleeping child - she needs space to go to sleep. She doesn't nap often - but she gets the opportunity - in cot with toys and either takes it or doesn't.

2 makes life more complicated but if it's all going to pot I try to go out for a walk with sling/pushchair and either she passes out while I'm getting organised to go (again wants space) or we go out for an aimless walk and she usually gives up on the sleep fighting somewhere around the walk

judybloomno5 Wed 08-Feb-17 18:25:20

Hi. They are 27 months and 5 months. I couldn't go for a walk as my eldest had gone to sleep in her bed and it was just my little one who couldn't. In the end she cried for 8 minutes and then fell asleep whilst I caught my breath in the spare room trying not to cry.

DD1 has been throwing herself on the floor at any opportunity today. We went to the supermarket to buy some bread (and some mini eggs for me) and when a supermarket employee spoke to me she pushed their legs. So embarrassing!.

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