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AIBU?

To wonder how many best friends / friends you have?

78 replies

SingingInTheRainstorm · 08/02/2017 08:16

There's often posts on MN about fallings out between friends. Was wondering how many people you have in your inner circle, friends and best friends plus OH if you have one.

Also are they people you've known ages or are fairly new friendships. Is there anyone that makes you want to scream? What kind of stuff do you do?

OP posts:

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CMOTDibbler · 08/02/2017 08:19

None. I have 'people I know', but no one would text me for a chat, offer a meet up for a cup of coffee, let alone a night out.

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PinkSquash · 08/02/2017 08:20

None. I know a lot of people to talk to, but none to socialise with.

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Doublegloucester · 08/02/2017 08:25

Four friends from school who I see once every 6-8 weeks and text.

Some friends from church who I go for coffees with. One of these ladies has become a really close friend despite our 50 year age gap!

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Palegreenstars · 08/02/2017 08:36

Myself and my husband have a close group of friends who we see most weeks of 11 people. It's been that way for 7 years.

Of those I have 3 closest who I've known for 10/12 years.

We go to the pub or dinner in or out and on holiday.

We've just had a baby though and none of the others are even close which is changing things but not as much as I thought - they've mostly embraced the 12th member of the gang.

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ArchNotImpudent · 08/02/2017 08:40

I have three friends, who I go out socially with perhaps four or five times a year. I wouldn't describe anyone as a 'best friend'.

I get on well with most people at work, but don't socialise with them.

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treaclesoda · 08/02/2017 08:42

I have three close friends who I see regularly. And a few other friends who I see maybe every few months.

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Champagneformyrealfriends · 08/02/2017 08:44

I'm very close to my sister and brother. We spend a lot of time together. My husband and I socialise with his colleagues and their partners but I wouldn't call them friends. Other than that I have one close friend from NCT, one I went to school with and one I met through work.

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notanothernamechangebabes · 08/02/2017 08:44

Tricky question. I reckon I have half a dozen close friends I see regularly (some once a week or so)- and some of these are also friends with each other, some just with me.

Then I have probably another couple in the same town who I don't see often because of work commitments that take them away a lot (ballet dancer and a cameraman)

Then one or two from my childhood who live miles away so I see rarely but speak often...

10? And maybe 8 of those I would call in a middle of the night crisis. All of them as dear to me as blood, and vice versa. I consider myself very very lucky with my friends- especially as I'm really rubbish at answering messages/ remembering birthdays etc. They're all saintly for loving me.

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CwtchMeQuick · 08/02/2017 08:45

I have two best friends. One I've known for 20 years that I see about twice a month but speak every day (used to be 1-2 a week when we lived closer), we go on holiday together too. The other I've known about 2 and a half years, we see each other at least twice a week. Sometimes socialise with our partners on weekends or take the kids out for the day together.

Have another close friend I see about once a week, might be once a fortnight if we're both busy. And then another friend who's son is in DSs class, we tend to meet up with the kids but occasionally go for breakfast/lunch/shopping together. We've been on holiday together too.

Have other friends too but meet up and talk more sporadically.

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pishedoff · 08/02/2017 08:47

I have 3 friends who I see on a very regular basis ( we're school mums!), we go out socially a couple of times a month

Then there's another few mums who I go out socially with a few times a year

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JellyWitch · 08/02/2017 08:48

I have a couple of close friends who I can have long chats with about anything. Only one of them is local and pops round for a chat. The other are my children's godparents.

Lots of other friends to socialise with (not many local though).

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IrenetheQuaint · 08/02/2017 08:49

Maybe 8 or 9 good friends who I see at least every 6 weeks and am in contact with more often. I am single with no children though so much more time (and need) for friends!

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SingingInTheRainstorm · 08/02/2017 08:51

I find I get on well with people of all ages, although I think I'd struggle with teenagers as I'm not cool in any way, I'm a dinosaur to them.

I have 2/3 friends, then people I talk to and would try and help. With the 2/3 friends you can have a gap of not talking if life gets busy & pick up from where you left, if that makes sense.

Those with no friends, would you like friends, or do you prefer to be alone? I'm an introvert which is why I think I prefer having a small group of friends.

OP posts:

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Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 08/02/2017 08:53

5 years ago had 4 close friends. Fell out with one, one moved away.

The remaining two have been close friends for 12+ years. That's 2 and DP's so it's a meet up of 6 usually. We all used to form part of a bigger group that has drifted apart over the last 5 years for various reasons.

I have another friend and her DP who I like a lot but our schedules rarely allow us to meet.

So basically 2 super close friends, a few people I'd like to see more, and of course a bunch of mums who are closer to acquaintances but whom o see and talk to way more than my actual friends....

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evensmilingmakesmyfacehurt · 08/02/2017 08:57

I have my 3 closest friends who I have known since Primary School, i see them a couple of times a month (since having DS I've been a bit of a hermit) but we have a whatsapp group and speak every day.

I also have a handful of friends who meet up once every couple of months for a meal & a few drinks.

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puglife15 · 08/02/2017 09:00

I'm an extrovert but while I have a big network of mates/people I know, I have few close friends.

Maybe 3 or 4 in the city I live in - I see them every 1-2 weeks - then another 5 or so I see once or twice a month who are more like "mum friends". I have a handful of friends I see very rarely because they don't live nearby or our lives are so different - they have no kids for example.

I've always been crap at making an effort with people and quite passive, and I'm no one's "number 1" friend except for my husband.

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MollyHuaCha · 08/02/2017 09:00

These are my lovely friends:

R - my neighbour who I see several times a week and wd stay in touch with if we moved
B - we go to a weekly activity (we actually met there) and go for occasional coffee in between
L - I see her once a month for coffee/shopping/dog walking . We text a lot in between.
A - 3 or 4 times a year
M - twice a year
J - twice a year
M - twice a year
S - once a year
A - once a year
S&S - once a year
L - once a year
S - once every two or three years
F - once every two or three years

I don't do Facebook so don't have a few hundred people as 'friends' on there. All of the above people I really like, through writing this down makes me think I should make more of an effort to see them more regularly.

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puglife15 · 08/02/2017 09:02

Oh and I've never fallen out with a close friend.

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LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 08/02/2017 09:03

Three close friends, lots of 'going out' friends. I find making friends quite easy, I think because I'm quite easy going. I've sometimes put up with shitty friends when I shouldn't have but I'm older and wiser now. Never had a serious fall out with anyone yet. My close friends are from high school.

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arethereanyleftatall · 08/02/2017 09:06

Quite a few.
Friends we've met through the children - 3 families who meet most weekends at each other's houses, go on holiday together.
Friends from uni - a group of 10 of us are still close and meet up monthly plus one annual holiday with families.
Friends from my hockey team - meet for 1x lunch most weeks.

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Postagestamppat · 08/02/2017 09:10

Where we live now: none. Work colleagues but I don't like socialising with work colleagues, so maybe my own fault. Place we used to live: 1 of my own and an extra couple from dh. As I get older and have moved I have less and less friends. Will have lost all of them by the time I am really old.

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Chasingsquirrels · 08/02/2017 09:20

A handful.

My DH
2 friends I met when my dc1 was a baby. 1 at post natal group, and 1 about 18m later. I'd see one or other or both together at least once a week, and probably 2/3 times a week when the children were babies/toddlers/preschool. Both have been very good friends through some trying times over the last decade or so. And very good friends through good times too. I hope I've been the same. We see less of each other now the kids are older, but are all local and keep our friendship in touch.
2 friends I met as mum's of dc1 at school. The mum of his best friend during primary, who I keep in touch with despite their friendship having ebbed away. And the mum of a boy who left mid-primary who I've always liked a lot, but have only really kept up with when my life has fallen apart and she has been there for me, she is being fantastic atm.

I then know quite a few people through the kids primary school, clubs etc, but only really get in touch around things to do with the kids.
I also know quite a few people through work - both colleagues and clients, but have never really maintained friendships through that.

I think I'm a very insular person and partly don't feel the need for a wide friendship group - I'd rather have a few who I feel deeply comfortable with.
And also I have insecurities about friendships and don't see what I add to people's lives and why they would want me in them.

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BillSykesDog · 08/02/2017 09:22

DH is my best friend.

I have one close female friend where I live now, we have children the same age. Socialise with her extended family too. Known her about 12 years.

I have one quite close male friend in common with DH where we live now. Also frienewly with his girlfriend but don't socialise too much as they're more into partying than us and no kids. Known him about 6 years.

Have two female friends where I'm from originally and one male who I see about once or twice a year and message. Known two of them 17 years and the other over 20.

I count one SIL and one BIL as friends. We message and see each other a couple of times a year as different countries.

I gave up drinking 6 years ago and a lot of friendships and my larger social group fell off the radar, but the ones worth having remained. From that experience I prefer to have a few really worthwhile friendships than lots of more shallow ones. Shallow's not the right word, because it sounds judgy and like that sort of friendship is not worthwhile, but I think it often is for other people just not for me. Can't think of a better word though.

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Kahlua4me · 08/02/2017 09:30

I feel very lucky with the friends I have and would really struggle without them.

Dh is one and have been married a long time.
Have some friends I have met through dc and are now close too. We meet up with husbands and kids.
Other friends have met through work, or pub, and have known for over 15 years now.
2 friends I have known since I was about 3 as our parents were, and still are, friends. They are more like sisters as don't remember not knowing them and they know everything about me, warts and all!
Close with brother and his wife- meet up every few weeks and often go on holiday with them. Wished they lived nearer!

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StarUtopia · 08/02/2017 09:36

I thought I had a lot but had a life changing accident this week and after the initial OMG are you ok how can we help, please ask etc etc....

I asked for help - and tumbleweeds :(

Feeling very down. Two people who I didn't even consider close friends have really stepped up to help with my two small children and one other friend from my daughter's dance class is popping over later to help me get some food.

Just shows. You may think you have friends but it's only when the shit hits the fan, you really find out who is genuine!