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To think ive made a mistake!!

(10 Posts)
Chickennuggetfeeder Tue 07-Feb-17 21:09:40

I recently changed jobs from one working nights (3 12hr shifts a week) to one working days that is only 5.5hrs a day mon to fri and means i can drop kids at breakfast club and pick them up at the end of the day!

I obviously took quite a pay cut to do these hours but at the time i was getting ill from working nights taking the kids to school and then back for pick up so was only averaging about 4hrs sleep three days a week! I was a miserable cow most days shouting at the kids and just had no energy to cope with them all. My old job was very physical and i loved the actual work and my new one is an office job which i know has more prospects but i just find it so dull. Im not used to sitting still and its just dead scilent the whole time im there. I know just need to suck it up and get on with it as the kids are now happier i have the energy and time to read with them, cook proper dinners ect. I feel so bad for not liking it.

Add to this im so worried about money. Dp and i where earning the same amount (15000pa) but now im down to 12 and im really feeling it. Dp has always paid the rent and me everything else and he cant seem to get i dont have as much anymore. im skint by half way through the month and he just doesnt get that i cant afford everything. I also worry so much about our lack of savings ect.

So like my question says have i made a mistake?

Chickennuggetfeeder Tue 07-Feb-17 21:10:02

Sorry for any spelling mistakes im on my phone

YouMeddlingKids Tue 07-Feb-17 21:12:14

The fact that you were getting ill from the nights means you didn't really have a choice, so it doesn't sound like you've made a mistake... The lack of money sounds tough though! Do you get any tax credits or anything to help bridge the gap?

user892 Tue 07-Feb-17 21:13:02

Have you adjusted your tax credits claim as you're now earning less?

RandomMess Tue 07-Feb-17 21:16:17

Also sounds like you need to look at finances together, you need to share the costs relative to you income!

Chickennuggetfeeder Tue 07-Feb-17 21:16:22

Yeah i do and it does help. I think maybe im just having a wobble and dps lack of helping money wise is making it harder. He always says he has no cash but then can splash out a couple of hundred on his pride and joy.

As for nights i did them for 3years and became a horrible person my children where scared to be around me when i was tired and thats no way to live. Plus i started having suisidal thoughts which i never have in my life.

Maybe i just need to find a way to wear off my excess energy.

rollonthesummer Tue 07-Feb-17 21:17:52

Surely your husband can understand that you earn less money now, so there is less in the pot??

FromIbizaToTheNorfolkBroads Tue 07-Feb-17 21:24:10

No you haven't made a mistake - your nights were making you ill and you couldn't have carried on like that.

Remember as well that this new job isn't forever. There's nothing to stop you looking for something better paid or more exciting whilst you're there.

Chickennuggetfeeder Tue 07-Feb-17 23:17:45

I guess thats what i have to keep telling myself isnt it! Its not forever and things will change. My youngest is 6 so its great to fit round the school and they do grow up so fast. I also think i really need to sort money with dp as him paying 600 rent and me doing the rest (council tax, food, clubs, cloaths ect) isnt fair.

HeddaGarbled Tue 07-Feb-17 23:34:07

There are two issues, one, the reduction in income and two, you not really enjoying the job.

With the first, yes, you definitely need to sit down with your partner and work out a new and fairer division of finances.

With regard to enjoying the job, I don't think you made a mistake in giving up the previous one. It was clearly very unhealthy to have so little sleep and your relationship with your children was suffering. But if you are finding the new job dull, you don't have to stick with it. Have a really good think about what you like (daytime, prospects) and what you don't like (sedentary) and keep looking for something that's a better fit for you.

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