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To be upset that no one is ever happy/pleased to see me?

(13 Posts)
MrsPolkaDotLady Tue 07-Feb-17 20:36:53

Whenever I see or meet up with anyone, they never seem happy to see me and are always quite offhand and grumpy, whilst with others they are nice, chirpy, and smiley!

I met a friend this afternoon and she was very indifferent to see me, and didn't raise a smile the whole time we were with each other. Another mutual friend saw us when we were having a coffee and came over to us and again was all lukewarm with me and friendly towards my friend, who was also all smiley and friendly towards her!

I always try to be upbeat and not moany or grumpy, and it hurts that no one can extend the same courtesy to me.

I see lots of mums on the school run each day who are all serious and 'Hello MrsPolkaDot' when they see me, then they will see someone else who is near me and be delighted to see them!

Everyone is just always to lukewarm with me.

Even DH, if I phone him, or when he gets home in the evening, is always grumpy with me and not with others.

And my colleagues are all friendly and happy towards each other but lukewarm to me!

Why is everyone like it to me? Like I said, I am an upbeat person and always polite and nice to people. I'm not horrible, or bitchy. Everyone seems to take me for granted.

NarkyMcDinkyChops Tue 07-Feb-17 20:45:15

I always try to be upbeat and not moany or grumpy, and it hurts that no one can extend the same courtesy to me

It's not a courtesy though is it? You are either happy to see someone or you are not very happy to see them. I imagine you'll get lots of replies about how everyone you know must be bitches, but thats not really the most likely answer logically.
Either you are imagining it, or there is a reason for it.

Bodear Tue 07-Feb-17 20:46:58

I didn't want to read and run. Is there anyone you can speak to in rl? It may not be as bad as you think and people are just focussed on their own issues? X

nobodysnogslikejoebloggs Tue 07-Feb-17 20:48:34

Could you ask your DP, or do you have another very close friend you could ask to be honest with you and tell you if there is something you do that people may find annoying? Explain the above and say you want to rectify it if possible.

DontTouchTheMoustache Tue 07-Feb-17 20:49:39

Please don't think I'm trying to make a dig at you op, I'm genuinely trying to help you get to the bottom of it when I ask...are you over compensating with this upbeat happy persona? Perhaps you come across as fake as a result? Or slightly OTT and annoying? As I say, that's not me suggesting that is the case or trying to be horrible.

mrsBeverleygoldberg Tue 07-Feb-17 20:54:09

Could you have some social anxiety? You feel that people feel like that towards you. Maybe you feel that they're like it with you because they dislike you, when it may be they're showing you their true face, rather than pretending to be happy and jolly like they do with other people.

Screwinthetuna Tue 07-Feb-17 20:59:21

Maybe people feel that they can actually be themselves with you and don't have to fake it? Maybe you come across as 'real' and they don't have to be all, 'hey Hun! So lovely to see you look amazing!' etc?

MrsBobDylan Tue 07-Feb-17 20:59:58

I'm cheery with everyone, even those who royally piss me off/bore's my default setting. I can't believe EVERYONE is choosing to treat you differently. If your friend is choosing to meet up with you, she must like you. Your husband chose to marry you, so he must be fairly appreciative of the person you are.

I think you are imagining it - are you low on confidence at the moment?

Derlei Tue 07-Feb-17 21:06:02

Would you consider yourself pretty or attractive? I'm only saying that because I have actually met some women who have told me they don't like another woman because "she's pretty but she thinks she's God's gift" confused]
Humans are weird

Screwinthetuna Tue 07-Feb-17 21:36:06

Similarly, I know women who are the opposite. Light up and lick the arses of attractive/pretty women only, like they want to be in the popular crowd in high school, haha. Not implying you aren't, op, just saying how fickle some people can be (and I'm not sure they're even aware of it!)

WeddingsAreStressful Tue 07-Feb-17 21:40:14

To be honest, this sounds unlikely to be true. Sounds like you're either imagining it or have some skewed expectations about others. Sorry.

gandalf456 Tue 07-Feb-17 21:44:06

Has there been a circumstance where this has not happened and, if so, what was different? When I feel uptight, it sometimes feels like this for me. If I'm genuinely in a good mood, it's infectious.

I do think there are some people who like to be exclusive, though. It's rife among school gate mums

ineedamoreadultieradult Tue 07-Feb-17 21:45:37

I don't have many friends but using my family as examples. If my Auntie was your walk into my house I would be very smiley and welcoming and full of 'how are you', 'I love your dress' etc. Whereas if it were my Mum who I am close to I would probably just open the door and say something like 'alright? Cup of tea?' as I walked back into the room leaving her to shut the door, take her coat off etc. Being normal and not overly friendly is something you tend to keep for close friends you can be yourself with in my experience.

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