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To feel so emotional about this?

(12 Posts)
ChanandlerBongsNeighbour Tue 07-Feb-17 20:15:05

So, DH and I have taken the momentous decision to make a big family move (think one end of the country to the other) after living in our current city for 14 years, which is nearly all of our lives together. We got married and had our children here.

We have always said we would 'eventually' move back that way. The driver now is that DH has been offered a fantastic job in the new area, better salary, career advancement, prestige and working conditions (he is VERY unhappy in his current job). The new area is significantly closer to both our families (journey time down from 4+ hours to less than an hour) which is important to us as our parents get older etc.

I am very excited about the move, specifically being closer to family (family are also ecstatic about it!) and my career is very 'portable', (I am a primary school teacher) so am hoping to find a job in one of the MANY schools in the new area.

My AIBU is that since making the decision and setting a date etc I have been bursting into tears at the mere thought of handing in my notice at my current job (crying writing this now!!!). I have been at my school for 11 years and my colleagues are like my family. I am so involved in the life and community of the school that the thought of leaving is breaking my heart! My rational mind recognises that it definitely the right time for us to move and is the right decision for us as a family and in the long run but I can't stop crying!!!

It's going to be made so much worse when I actually hand in my notice as everyone is going to be very shocked (only my closest friends know atm). I'm worrying that this emotion is going to cloud and ruin the excitement of the move or maybe that it means subconsciously that I don't want to go!! Is this a normal reaction?!!

BrownEyedLady Tue 07-Feb-17 20:24:36

It 's natural to feel a bit weepy about an end of an era. You're in the lucky position of leaving on a high/for positive reasons. If you were my friend, I would understand why you were emotional about it and then start talking about all the fabulous new and exciting things that are opening up to you. I'd also be looking forward to hearing all about it once you've made your move! xxxx

Sugarpiehoneyeye Tue 07-Feb-17 20:25:04

Hi Chan, I think any major change, can evoke strong emotions, but clearly, you do acknowledge that this is a great move, for the whole family.
Just think of all the benefits.
Nothing will spoil the excitement of the move, unless you let it. Yes, you have been at work for 11years, but you could be in your next job for longer.
It's going to be an incredible adventure, let yourself enjoy it.

cowgirlsareforever Tue 07-Feb-17 20:26:58

Those pesky mixed emotions. We've all been there but good luck with your new adventure.

ChanandlerBongsNeighbour Tue 07-Feb-17 20:32:58

Thank you! That made me cry again!! It's hard also because I know my friends here are devastated I am leaving (although they acknowledge the benefits!). Just feel like I have a knot in my stomach, feel guilty for leaving in the middle of a term as well, like there's less closure or something? God knows what I'll be like on my actual last day, think I'll need to be carried out!

ChanandlerBongsNeighbour Wed 08-Feb-17 17:51:37

Standing outside my daughters dance class now sobbing because she'll have to leave it soon! (My best friend is her dance teacher!) WHY can't I get my shit together!!!

Allthebestnamesareused Wed 08-Feb-17 18:11:24

I was like this when we moved areas too even though I was excited for the move. We even let out our old house in case we wanted to move back. 3 months in and we have already decided as soon as our tenant (in our old house) wants to move out we'll sell up.

PassTheWineAndFags Wed 08-Feb-17 18:15:54

I would go with the emotions, I think its a healthy thing, sticking your head in the sand will just delay the mourning period you are going through. I have moved a lot, and its not easy. It is exciting though and the sadness will ease with time as you plan more. All you can think of is the sense of loss and not the gain. Be gentle with yourself brew

junebirthdaygirl Wed 08-Feb-17 18:16:44

You are going to go through this many timesaving you pack up. Be prepared. It's normal but difficult. I moved years ago when children were young. Cried as l packed up their rooms, cried everytime l told anyone including their teachers, cried leaving my garden. It went on and on. But if you managed to build all those connections in your place now you will do it again in your new home. It's a necessary part of moving. Remember you will be able to visit with your old friends and have them stay with you.

ChanandlerBongsNeighbour Wed 08-Feb-17 19:11:08

Thank you so much everyone, junebirthdaygirl that's exactly how I feel! Every new person I have to tell just starts me off crying again!

steppemum Wed 08-Feb-17 19:15:12

Counsellors will tell you that every change, however positive, involves loss. Allowing yourself to grieve the losses actually means you will make the change better in the long run.

xx

ChanandlerBongsNeighbour Wed 08-Feb-17 19:24:34

It's helping enormously to know that others have felt the same!

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