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Continued from previous AIBU to be disappointed by this from the school

(4 Posts)
OopsDearyMe Tue 07-Feb-17 20:06:00

If you read my previous AIBU. You will know, about the problems I had on Monday. My DD has had periods of school refusal in y3 and 4, she seemed to settle but now in y6 she's started again.
After Monday mornings upset. I was asked to come tho school for a meeting, in which I was assured that my DD1 had been fine on I left and I was reassured , however DD2 had been ganged bup on by a group of vher class mates and teased, I was told it was a problem they are aware of and arevdewling with it as the whole year group are generally being pretty mean to each other.
Then I get home and DD1 is in tears, today was as awful as I expected and she's never going back.
I let her calm down and didn't raise the subject again.
Then this morning, she is screaming and having a massive meltdown over school again, so much so that I had to leave her at home with my neighbour and take my other two. I spoke with the teacher and we agreed to meet with my DD after school.

This is the AIBU

Almost immediately, one teacher launched into a diatribe bombarding her with questions, not to much of an issue for a neurotypical child, my DD begins to rock (self soothing) and answers yes and no.

Then the teacher starts to ask her if she cares about her mother's feelings and how does she think her behaviour is affecting me? She really goes to town, she might as well have said shame on you! The other who is safeguarding lead, tells her that if she doesn't come to school, this teacher will come and take her whether she likes it or not and in her PJs if she's has too.
I am bemused, surely thjos is what you say to a old who is being difficult, not one who is genuinely miserable and cannot bare to be in school.
The rest of the meeting was taken up discussing how they have attendance targets to meet and that the council would get I involved.
There was a short time where they actually tried to find oh what issues there were are how to help. But I left the meeting with no idea what we solved. We still don't know what the issues are? No action plan was created and all that was said was that she better be in tomorrow.

YANBU - not at all! I would be furious with this heavy handed and aggressive approach. Poor dd and poor you!

I don't have any experience of a similar situation, but can you complain to the HT about this? And I would consider phoning your dd in sick, if she is still distressed in the morning (stressed to the point of being that upset sounds like genuine illness to me).

Mumzypopz Tue 07-Feb-17 20:14:37

What are the issues with your DD? Why did she have periods of school refusal in year 3 and 4,?

OopsDearyMe Tue 07-Feb-17 20:20:35

She is unable to communicate verbally to really understand, but its the break times and less structured sessions she hates, including PE. But despite trying to explainntyo the teachers that this was because she doesnt want to be close to other people, eg in tag rugby. The response was that its not a contact sport and no one likes PE at this time of year! Ignoring what I had said. Everyone know you have to reach for someone's waist to grab the tag. That is too close to someone for her.

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