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To NOT be super annoyed at OH

(57 Posts)
Georgeofthejungle Tue 07-Feb-17 13:31:17

So OH has been a bit of idiot and let his van run out of oil. The engine has now seized and needs replaced. Goodbye £4000!

My neighbour was round and suggested i might be really annoyed at him (understandably!). But I'm not really. It was daft of him and an expensive mistake! More so given we don't have the money and are saving for an impending wedding.. But I just think it was a mistake and sh!t happens. Me giving him a hard time won't make the situation any better.

How would you react?

JohnLapsleyParlabane Tue 07-Feb-17 13:32:24

Just like you. Sometimes shit happens.

WendyIsMyName Tue 07-Feb-17 13:33:26

Just like you

Nocabbageinmyeye Tue 07-Feb-17 13:34:23

It depends, silly accidents I can cope with and get over but if he was ignoring an engine warning light and then that happened I'd go bananas as that's not an accident that's him being a lazy bastard so I would not be impressed

Bluntness100 Tue 07-Feb-17 13:34:58

Yeah, I'm not so reasonable, I'd tell him he was a twat. Didn't the oil indicator light come on? 🙄

PurpleDaisies Tue 07-Feb-17 13:35:19

Me too.

My car was a write off after an accident that was my fault. I'm glad dh was kind to me and not angry. I'd hope I'd be the same.

Mrsglitterfairy Tue 07-Feb-17 13:36:44

Yeah a bit like you. I'd probably call him something along the lines of an incompetent twat and keep this in my locker until I make a little fuck up so he can't be mad at me but I wouldn't fall out with him over it. He probably feels like a right nob pretty sheepish about it anyway

Georgeofthejungle Tue 07-Feb-17 13:37:00

Bless him he keeps apologising. asked if I still wanted to marry such an idiot (as a joke). I told him I knew he was an idiot before I agreed to marry him! grin Nothing a 0% credit card can't rescue us from.

I am actually more annoyed that whilst the van is getting fixed he has to use my car for work and I've had to cancel all me and DS plans (but also a little happy that I get to just stay in my jammies all day).

pettyprudence Tue 07-Feb-17 13:38:46

I would not be at all reasonable about it...

Georgeofthejungle Tue 07-Feb-17 13:38:46

Yes the indicator light was on....... I'm a bit of a procrastinator myself so I guess that's why I'm not too annoyed about that. I know he's had a lot on.

xStefx Tue 07-Feb-17 13:38:55

If he ignored the warning light going amber then red then I would actually be fuming (but you prob have more patience than me)

If the warning light didn't work then ok maybe not so much his fault

Thing is OP, obv it was a mistake ... but surely cant he be aware of how expensive things are when you don't take care of them, and are saving up for a wedding.

Don't get annoyed, but be sure to point that out. Ill be annoyed for you :-)

TheMasterNotMargarita Tue 07-Feb-17 13:39:06

Life's too short. Yes it's a lot of money but I guess he didn't do it on purpose.
I'd be annoyed but I wouldn't give him a hard time I'm sure he will feel bad enough himself.

Nocabbageinmyeye Tue 07-Feb-17 13:39:24

Was there no engine warning light?

HerOtherHalf Tue 07-Feb-17 13:41:35

It's not really a silly accident, it's entirely avoidable. Checking oil, coolant, screenwash and tyre pressure on a regular basis should be routine for any car owner.

For those who may not know already, most cars only display the oil warning light when it's pretty much critically low. Attend to it as a matter of extreme urgency - not in 50 miles or tomorrow, but right now.

S1lentAllTheseYears Tue 07-Feb-17 13:43:41

If it was a one off, I'd react the same as you (although I would want to know if he'd been ignoring a warning light as that would be pretty crap)

If he did this sort of thing all the time, or wasn't apologetic and mortified, then no!

Costacoffeeplease Tue 07-Feb-17 13:44:31

Bless him confused

I'd be fuming - the warning light must have been on for a while and he's ignored it, lazy and irresponsible

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Tue 07-Feb-17 13:44:57

It's in the bank of goodwill now - some day your calm reaction might be repaid if you do similar.

alltouchedout Tue 07-Feb-17 13:47:21

I'd be angry about a totally avoidable £4k mistake, yes. Oh, so angry.

Georgeofthejungle Tue 07-Feb-17 13:48:03

Yes it was on but the van is due an MOT at the end of the month so he's planned on getting it all done at the same time - probably not understanding the urgency.

I could be a annoyed but unfortunately that won't make it go away. And it's him that's now got to work extra to foot the bill and he feels like a grade A moron, I think that's punishment enough really.

Spam88 Tue 07-Feb-17 13:48:25

My DH generally feels bad enough when he has silly accidents so my concern is telling him it's okay rather than being annoyed with him.

Georgeofthejungle Tue 07-Feb-17 13:49:07

Hopefully I'll not be so stupid Donkeys

thebakerwithboobs Tue 07-Feb-17 13:50:44

OP I would LOVE it grin This is years worth of piss taking surely?!

Life is too short. I bet he is pretty gutted with himself and four grand is huge. I guess just be grateful nobody will starve as a result and maybe rig up some sort of electric shock to the gonads for every future warning light?

Crunchymum Tue 07-Feb-17 13:52:48

You are saving for a wedding and can afford to say goodbye to £4k?? (sticking it on a CC - 0% or not - means it still has to be paid back!!)

I'd certainly not be as understanding.... in fact I'd be pretty annoyed that he let it get to such a stage when he had plenty of warning!

And now he has messed up all your plans as he needs your car?

Be careful you don't enter doormat territory!!

IrregularCommentary Tue 07-Feb-17 13:52:54

I'd be pissed off, but there's no point falling out about it. We all screw up sometimes. I'd be the same as you OP.

Gatehouse77 Tue 07-Feb-17 13:53:20

I have found that DH is annoyed with himself enough. If I get cross then it gives himself something else to rail against/blame and it ain't gonna be me!

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