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Too see my arse?

(11 Posts)
studentnurse1234 Tue 07-Feb-17 11:45:58

I'm a fulltime student with an income of a bursary (I know I'm very lucky!). My OH is wonderful and the most caring person, we live separately with an hour and half journey between us. We see eachother around once a fortnight for the weekend which works well for us. However, more often than not it's usually me travelling to see him. Recently he's been concerned with saving money, which I understand he needs to do. Despite his income being three times more than mine, we split everything down the middle exactly. My AIBU is if he wants to save money, why does he constantly agree to go out with work colleagues, arrange nights out in his home town, meet up with old work friends and attend leaving do's? Yet complain and say he has to save money when we go out?
Just hoping for another perspective on this!

NavyandWhite Tue 07-Feb-17 11:48:16

Of course he's wrong. I'd insist he comes to you once a month. He's taking the piss.

WizardOfToss Tue 07-Feb-17 11:50:45

Well, he's made his priorities very clear, hasn't he? It doesn't sound very wonderful and caring, more selfish.

Have you discussed how you feel?

studentnurse1234 Tue 07-Feb-17 12:09:23

Yes it's been discussed and it's been a mutual agreement we both make the journey once a month. IT came to ahead during a phone conversation last week whilst discussing watching the Rugby this Sunday, he mentioned that he doesn't want to spend much. Having brought this up with him he doesn't see my point of view despite explaining that he wouldn't say that to his colleagues or friends. It's fallen on deaf ears as he's going out on Saturday...

TheMysteriousJackelope Tue 07-Feb-17 12:15:07

I would take this quite seriously as it speaks to a lack of common sense and self control when it comes to spending money. I would find continual whining about something when there is a screamingly obvious fix boring and frustrating.

Leaving do's I understand, but there can't be that many of them a year unless he works for a horror of a company.

KylieJo Tue 07-Feb-17 12:25:44

I think this could also be an indication that he is trying to dodge a certain visit and that maybe he will reconsider soon enough.

SpackenDeDoich Tue 07-Feb-17 12:27:11

I'd fuck him off.

WatchingFromTheWings Tue 07-Feb-17 12:34:01

I wouldn't say he was caring at all. Unless you count caring for himself...

He wants you to pay out to travel to see him while he keeps as much of his cash as possible for nights out that don't seem to include you. I'd be seriously reconsidering whether to carry on with this relationship. It doesn't seem to be going anywhere.

WizardOfToss Tue 07-Feb-17 12:39:45

So he doesn't want to spend much - on you.

Sorry, OP, I know it sucks but I'd end it now flowers

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Tue 07-Feb-17 14:10:20

This is exactly what my uni boyfriend was like. He had a fulltime job while I was a student with just a loan for everything - so £2k a month for him and about £k a YEAR for me. He would come and visit, but everything would be split completely down the middle - quite often he'd come because he wanted to see a particular band play and I'd end up spending a lot of money on tickets for things I wasn't particularly interested in. He also regularly needed me to pay and he would 'pay me back' - which obviously never happened hmm.

Basically my then boyfriend was a selfish shit who cared for nobody but himself. If he can't see your point of view, then he's either spectacularly thick or just doesn't care enough. He's happy to cut back where it suits him which is obviously with you. I bet when you see each other he just wants to stay in.

studentnurse1234 Sat 11-Feb-17 19:18:19

Thank you all for the replies and advice! Guess I need to tell him to buck up his ideas. Felicia, my situation sounds so very similar to yours hmm

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