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AIBU?

to ask for your top tips for lifting up the down?

41 replies

ReallyDownxxxx · 06/02/2017 22:54

Just that really. Not clinical suicadal depression but just feeling really low and like life has no fun and there are no real true friends.

What are you top simple tips for cheering yourself up?

(I have no DH or a partner so seeking a hug or care is no good. This is probably part of the problem for me)

OP posts:
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Jaynebxl · 06/02/2017 22:56

Spend time with a nice person. Invite someone for coffee. Count your blessings (sounds corny but it works).

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CHJR · 06/02/2017 23:01

Make sure you have had enough sleep and enough to eat.
Stay warm!
Go for a walk outside, even if it's just a short stroll to the newsagents.

When you're feeling a little better, consider what you used to enjoy or might enjoy and schedule a way to get it back into your life. Even better if it's something a little scary or hard: it will lift you to succeed.

Start a longer-term project you can inch towards slowly: maybe saving for a very special holiday or learning a skill you've always admired or...?

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RussellTheLoveMuscle · 06/02/2017 23:03

((Hug))
Reaching out is the first step :)
Getting outside every day- park, woods, window shopping down the high street, which ever.
Being kind to yourself.

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ReallyDownxxxx · 06/02/2017 23:08

Thanks for your replies. I wish I knew a nice person to ask for a coffee. Feels like everyone I know is totally self interested with no time for me. Sad


Enough sleep is a good one but I find when I'm down it's difficult to make myself go to bed. Like right now.

OP posts:
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tobecontinued2000 · 06/02/2017 23:09

Listen to guided meditation on YouTube

Taking the dogs for a walk

Reading a mag with a cuppa

Looking at videos of dogs hating baths on YouTube

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VforVienetta · 06/02/2017 23:12

I'm on ADs now, but in the years before when I felt as you do, my best tactic to get out of a dip was to 'fake it to make it'.
I'd be purposefully cheery and helpful (when I remembered anyway!), and found that it both lifted my mood and improved how others related to me.
Added bonus is it becomes habit to be more positive, like CBT, so I became more relaxed and accepting.

Smiling physically lifts your mood via chemical release or something - as does laughing. Search YouTube for comedians you like, seek out blogs/IG of cute animals, whatever makes you smile.

I hope you can climb out of this trough soon OP, it's tough.

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devuskums · 06/02/2017 23:13

What about learning a new skill? When I had a bad car accident that left me with anxiety disorder and low low feelings I learnt to knit using videos from youtube and joined knitting groups on Facebook. The members of the groups are so supportive and caring, and you can knit things for charities that help make you feel useful! Also concentrating on the knitting helps distract me in the evenings...

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devuskums · 06/02/2017 23:14

And buy yourself a nice bunch of flowers to enjoy x

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Kookypants · 06/02/2017 23:15

Do something to improve your living environment, cleaning, decluttering, gardening. Listen to stuff on audible while you do it.

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Tomorrowillbeachicken · 06/02/2017 23:18

I went and volunteered at a local toddler group once a week. My favourite day of the week.

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VforVienetta · 06/02/2017 23:18

Are you a visual person OP?
I am and found my surroundings would also be a symptom when I was v low - piles would teeter, dust gather etc.
Clearing all the surfaces, and making the place look bright and tidy genuinely helps me feel calmer and more content.

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apringle · 06/02/2017 23:18

I find music really helps. Listen to all your favourite old songs or sometimes even fun random playlists on you tube. And yes, definitely getting outside.
It's been a long cold winter and I think it's effecting lots of people but I saw flowers starting to bloom at my nearby park, so fingers crossed the warmth will come soon too.

Also, Remember you're not alone. So many of us are here doing the same things you are.

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NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 06/02/2017 23:19

Perhaps try having a "me" day - plan it out ahead of time - it didn't have to be anything expensive it or complicated - cook your favourite food, or order a cheeky takeaway. Run a bubbly bath and listen to some music you love.

Do some light exercise regularly, preferably outdoors
Do something kind for someone else (even if it's just holding a door open or paying a compliment to a stranger in the street).

Look into mindfulness, the basic principles are spot on and so effective

Be kind to yourself.

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Pleasejustgetdressed · 06/02/2017 23:22

Swimming outdoors, cycling, oldfashioned detective stories, stroking a cat, walking a dog, writing a letter to your grandparents (living or not), daydreaming for five minutes, going on a swing, write a 250 word short story in an hour, draw 20 circles and then turn them into something,draw a self portrait of all that's good about you.

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Marcipex · 06/02/2017 23:29

Can you join any local groups? I love my running group and my knitting for charity online group (Woolly Hugs ).

I work in a playgroup and a lovely local lady helps as a volunteer, reading stories and playing with the children.
You'd soon have lots of friends there, even if they are small and sticky.

I totally get the can't-force-yourself -to-bed thing. I do that if DH is away.

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RedastheRose · 06/02/2017 23:34

Do something kind for someone else! Volunteer at a charity shop, local church (if that floats your boat), homeless drop in centre or whatever! It really does help you appreciate what you have and also gives you human contact and an appreciation of other people's problems. Also, a warm bath, cup of hot chocolate and a good book are great for relaxing before bed. If you don't sleep too well I have found audio books a great help cos they can play away quietly in the background and if you wake up you just listen for a bit before drifting back off to sleep. If you feel that your friends are not there for you perhaps you should try and meet some new friends, take up a hobby that you've always wanted to try. Get out and live your life, only you can do this. You may find it difficult to start with but it will get easier. If you feel really low go and see your doctor, anti depressants can help you in the short term.

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BeastofCraggyIsland · 06/02/2017 23:38

Sorry you're feeling down OP. My dogs are the main things that keep me happy and relatively sane, closely followed by being outdoors/exercise. If it's not possible for you to have a pet then I would recommend that you try to get outside as much as possible, fresh air and exercise really does help with stress, sleeping etc. I definitely notice an impact on my general mood if I don't get the endorphins going every day. Put together a good playlist and crank up the happy tunes while you walk/run/cycle. Planning trips away also gives me something to look forward to. I hope you're feeling better soon, this is a rubbish time of year in general but spring is on the way.

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cheapskatemum · 06/02/2017 23:38

St Johns Wort
Volunteering - for me the elderly are a tonic, I love their "mustn't grumble" ethic
A walk, particularly in beautiful countryside in the sunshine, but any walk helps.
A decent cup of tea with an upbeat friend.
Music - listening / singing / dancing to it.

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Marcipex · 06/02/2017 23:47

I must go to bed, I'll check in tomorrow.

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Zafodbeeblbrox10 · 06/02/2017 23:55

Life can really feel like a test at times, but most of us experience these feelings of emptiness at some point. Think and act positively, and it will attract positive experiences. Be yourself when you are around people, but the happy, confident you. Seize opportunities to do things or get involved with a hobby, even things you wouldn't normally dream of doing, just go for it, we all have to start somewhere. Think about what you really would like to do, and take steps to attaining that goal. Believe in yourself! This might sound hard at first but your efforts will be rewarded. Good luck!

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haveacupoftea · 07/02/2017 00:03

Getting productive stuff done is a one way ticket out of the doldrums. Especially improving your living environment as that has the double effect of cheering your mood when youre happy in your home and arent looking at walls that need painted, stacks of ironing etc.

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Gwenhwyfar · 07/02/2017 00:17

If it's just something you've had for a few days, I really think it can be tiredness. Sometimes I feel like the world coming to an end and then I get a good night's sleep and everything's better. Sorry, if it's something more deep rooted.

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user1480954406 · 07/02/2017 00:20

Do you have a practical hobby? I used to make a really silly big cake and stay up and make it, or a batch of cupcakes with a new piping technique, gave my mind something to focus on and then I felt really proud of myself when people said they looked nice... sense of accomplishment.

Also, I found that shutting off social media helped sometimes. Just taking a break from constantly being advertised at or shown a silly picture of everyone else's 'perfect life'. even mumsnet, it's q easy to crave immediate interaction with very little actual input yourself going out and getting involved helps.

Put some make up on if that's your thing. I often feel much better if I feel like I look nice.

Or just go and buy yourself some really nice bubble bath and moisturised and a face mask. The really nice onces you would never warrant buying yourself but get as gifts.

yoga also has changed my life, but mindfulness really helps

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BillSykesDog · 07/02/2017 00:26

Bloody good cry works wonders.

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devuskums · 07/02/2017 21:19

How are you feeling today ReallyDown?

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