Iam - Both of my children know that I love them unconditionally, and without hesitation or doubt (on my part). My daughter (whom I've asked for advice regarding on here before, last year) uses me as an emotional punching bag because she knows that I love her and won't just cast her aside whilst she's ill (and she really is, and I wish she would do something constructive about getting better, rather than continue to blame everything that goes wrong in her life on me and her younger brother). Her coldness is a choice, though, because it's only me she employs it against at the moment (I am dreading if she ever has children of her own, though, I have to confess). My mother also knows that I love her unconditionally - and that I won't take sides in her "fallings out" with my brothers. She equally hates and loves that I still talk to them both (one, only very recently, have I stopped being NC with, because I finally got an acknowledgment/apology for his having tried to kill me when I was 5 and he was 15...), and the silent treatment now is because I won't tell her anything about them other than "yeah, they're okay". They don't want me to. And I am not going to put the relationship that I and my son have with them at risk. It's as simple as that (my daughter is also NC with them, her choice but also theirs given that she is very like my mother). My father misses them both desperately (they're not biologically his, but he was around from the time DB2 was 4 years old), but won't go against my mother and have a relationship with anyone he's related to - except me and my children. Because I'm seen as "the passive/submissive child". I'm actually not. I just... don't see the point in engaging with most of the abuse, to be honest. My concern is raising my son and getting my daughter the help that she needs. My parents? Have made their choices and, one day, they will reap what they have sown. Just as I will. Just as my children will.
I don't remember my mother ever telling me that she loved me when I was growing up. She didn't even hug me - and if I tried to hug her, she'd awkwardly stand there with her arms at her side and make uncomfortable noises until I gave up. So I've made sure that my children (and my friends) know that they are loved. But I was one of the lucky ones who had an older brother, a father and grandparents (and older generations) who told me that they loved me frequently. It drove my mother mad, and she went out of her way to isolate me from all of them... but I knew I was loved. Just not by my mother.
Sorry OP for briefly hijacking - but you're not alone. It is a method of abuse, and one which I'm told is employed by those who had it used against them whilst they were growing up. It's their last line of defence. My mother, for example, has a mother (who I am NC with for various reasons) who still can't tell any of her children/grandchildren/great-grandchildren that she loves them... yet her parents were (and I know this from personal experience of them) warm, open people who told all of us how much they appreciated/loved us. Some people are just... cold. Emotionally detached. No empathy, no comprehension of how to treat others. Essentially? It's their problem, their choice, their responsibility.
Not ours!