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Massive room for 3yo -AIBU

(168 Posts)
funkky Mon 06-Feb-17 16:09:14

Just after some advice and to get people's thoughts.
Scenario: 4 bedroom house and two Massive bedrooms, one tiny bedroom and study.
I currently have a ds in the tiny room and he is 3, and a dd 3 months old in cot in the master bedroom with Us.
I think both kids should share the second big room till they are around 10? ish. To help them bond and mainly because I can't imagine ds all there by himself at this age in the massive room. When they are older, dd can move to tiny room while ds retains big room.
Dh thinks it's not worth the hassle and to just put 3 yo in big room now and baby by herself in small room when we move her at 6 months. He also thinks bedtimes will be easier if they are apart than together plus not keen cause they are different sexes??

This is more a what do people do tbh as if they were both the same sex, we both agree they would definitely be sharing the big room. It really is massive even bigger than our master bedroom and if we ever have guests stay over, they will have to share with ds but at least we can have a spare room for guests if they both share? AIBU?

LovingLola Mon 06-Feb-17 16:10:57

So at 9 or 10 you would expect your dd to move to the tiny room while her brother has the massive room?

reallyanotherone Mon 06-Feb-17 16:12:41

I put both of mine in the big room, and had the small room as a guest room.

When the eldest was about 9 it became tricky with different bedtimes, so dc1 was asked to choose a room. They chose the small room with a high sleeper. Dc2 stayed in the big room with twin beds, and shared with occasional guests (family).

Chattymummyhere Mon 06-Feb-17 16:13:28

But them both in the small rooms and use the massive one as a study/guest bedroom sees the fairest way of splitting the space.

I certainly wouldn't make them share to kick one out in later years when you have enough rooms for a room each.

AppleMagic Mon 06-Feb-17 16:14:02

We put our two in together and it has actually made bedtimes and nights easier.

He's being stupid about the B/G thing and it could be that they share for another 7 YEARS so doesn't make sense for it to be "not worth it".

Witchend Mon 06-Feb-17 16:14:02

I agree with your dh, if you've got the rooms.
If nothing else it reduces messing around at bedtimes and in the mornings when they keep each other awake.
Plus there is absolutely no reason if they are in there together why your ds should have the bigger room. If one is moving out that's a different matter to putting the cot in the smaller room.

I wouldn't have them share even if they were both boys/girls.

reallyanotherone Mon 06-Feb-17 16:14:45

Loving mine chose the small room for a variety of reasons- they got the new bed, and didn't have to share with guests or mil when she came to visit.

We explained pros and cons, she chose smaller room with a new bed and not having to share her space with visitors.

BeansMcCready Mon 06-Feb-17 16:16:20

I'd put DS in the tiny bedroom, DD in the study and use the massive room as the study, guest room and possibly toy storage. That way the kids get a fairer deal and you will get more guests if they don't have to share with (or move out) your kids. (If you like having guests - I really do!)

AllTheBabies Mon 06-Feb-17 16:17:10

Are you planning on having more children?

I'd have them in separate rooms from the start seeing as you have the space. They don't spend much time in their rooms anyway so I don't think it would help bonding to have them together.

Scarydinosaurs Mon 06-Feb-17 16:17:23

What do you plan to do long term? Will you've living there with older brother in massive room younger sister in tiny room until they leave home?

Is there anyway to split the massive room into two?

greeeen Mon 06-Feb-17 16:17:26

I would have them in a small room each and use the big one as a spare/office. It won't be fair when they are older tô have one in a massive room and one in a tiny one.

Notso Mon 06-Feb-17 16:17:51

I don't see the issue with a three year old in a big room and I don't see where the 'hassle' in moving rooms in 6 or more years comes into it either.

I think I'd be inclined to do as pp said and switch the massive room to office/spare room for fairness.

IndigoSister Mon 06-Feb-17 16:20:18

We have a similar bedroom setup and put DS1 in small double bedroom, DS2 in single bedroom and had the large bedroom as home office & guest room. DS2 has recently moved into the big bedroom (he's 12) on the understanding that if guests stay he will have to move.

funkky Mon 06-Feb-17 16:20:49

Chattymummy - the study is downstairs and shaped all wrong so not really suitable as a bedroom.
I just assumed ds would have bigger room cause he's older but he'll obviously get to choose one or the other when the--can't stand each other-- time comes

ineedwine99 Mon 06-Feb-17 16:21:42

Hi OP, i had to share with my brother until
I was around 10 and i HATED it.
We fought and wound each other up, he was messy whereas i am tidy, he pinched my things and broke them. It didn't help our relationship at all, though thankfully we're good now

BertrandRussell Mon 06-Feb-17 16:22:02

"When they are older, dd can move to tiny room while ds retains big room."

How do you see that working?

MimiSunshine Mon 06-Feb-17 16:22:30

What's the layout like upstairs?

Do you absolutely need a study? I.e. One of you works from home every day?

If not and it's next to the little room then I'd remove the wall between them and just have a 3 bed for now, you could alget and put the wall back up if you decide to sell although you may find a double three bed sells better than a four bed where 2 rooms are tiny

Or if the huge 2nd double is next to the tiny room could you move the dividing wall and borrow some space making the 3rd bedroom bigger?

Trifleorbust Mon 06-Feb-17 16:22:49

I think it's fine for them to share or not share, but he has a point about bedtimes!

Why don't you flip a coin for the big room? Not sure why you have decided to give it to your DS, although I know that isn't the point of the thread.

minipie Mon 06-Feb-17 16:22:50

If the room is that massive could it be split in two (either now or later?)

BertrandRussell Mon 06-Feb-17 16:23:22

"he'll obviously get to choose one or the other "

Why will he get to choose?

Trifleorbust Mon 06-Feb-17 16:24:41

Sorry just saw your update. Why should he choose because he is older? Find a fairer method than that!

Iggii Mon 06-Feb-17 16:26:12

Are large room and tiny room next to each other? Would a mallet and a joiner help?
Of course this is mumsnet where "tiny" can mean "as big as an average person's house"! How much would your dd be able to fit into the room?

MuseumOfCurry Mon 06-Feb-17 16:26:35

I'd put them together in the big room so it can also be a playroom and worry about the future arrangements in the future.

PoundingTheStreets Mon 06-Feb-17 16:27:17

Consider moving a wall so they have equally-sized rooms? Not as much hassle as people think, even when it's a supporting wall.

kierenthecommunity Mon 06-Feb-17 16:27:42

I always had the boxroom being the youngest. It sucked. I have, admittedly, just about got over it (aged 45)

I'm confused, where has the fourth bedroom gone? If the fourth room is downstairs, not bedroom shaped and a study, then that's a study not a bedroom, right? confused

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