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To think this was incredibly rude?

(33 Posts)
CesareBorgiasUnicornMask Mon 06-Feb-17 14:24:37

Just moved into new flat yesterday. Today ds has discovered that one of his trucks makes a lovely rumbling sound on the floor and has been pushing it about constantly. I briefly wondered if it was too noisy then thought as we're ground floor there wouldn't be anyone it could bother.

Then as DS and DH were going out for lunch with mil earlier (so front door was open) a random woman just strode in, didn't introduce herself at all, pointed at ds and his truck and said 'That has to stop - it's horrendous. I'm upstairs and it's a terrible noise. I'll complain if it carries on.' Then just walked out again confused.

I have no issue, obviously, with being told it's too noisy. I'm sorry we disturbed her and it really didn't occur to me that the noise would carry upstairs - and we'll stop DS doing it amd be more careful now we know noise does carry up. But who the heck just walks into a new neighbour's flat and barks at them like that?! Feeling slightly nervous about living here now!

witchofzog Mon 06-Feb-17 14:28:01

Cheeky cow (her not you) . It sounds like you would have been receptive to making changes about the noise levels but she didn't give you the chance. Are you renting or have you bought the flat?

user892 Mon 06-Feb-17 14:28:35

Ha! Of course it's not reasonable to stride in... Counter-complain if you share the same LL

SingingInTheRainstorm Mon 06-Feb-17 14:30:31

Rather rude to walk in, but maybe in her mind, they've hardly been here a day and already I'm been driven mad. Some people are precious about weird things!

xStefx Mon 06-Feb-17 14:32:35

Yeah that's terribly rude of her OP. Your right, who the hell just walks into someone elses house and speaks like that.

I would ignore her and any request she makes until she at least introduces herself and speaks to you in a better tone.

CesareBorgiasUnicornMask Mon 06-Feb-17 14:33:39

Yeah I thought that, Singing. It was very disconcerting though! And we've bought, not renting, so I really hope this isn't a sign of things to come. She's going to love having a crying newborn below her once DC2 arrives in the summer... confused

wheresthewine36 Mon 06-Feb-17 14:35:25

She is FUCKING rude.
I would be pissed off that she had the gall to walk into my home uninvited. If I was you, I wouldn't discourage your DS from playing with his truck. Why shouldn't he play in his own home?! I could understand her being put out (but not the way she dealt with it! ) it if there was an excessive amount of noise or if it was at night but I really can't see it being noisy enough to be annoyed by, especially as it isn't a a floor/ceiling which is shared with the neighbour. I would ignore her. Or barge into her flat and demand she never hoovers again.

EmeraldScorn Mon 06-Feb-17 14:37:36

You can remind her of her attitude when she's making noise, she was very rude and unreasonable!

NoCleanClothes Mon 06-Feb-17 14:40:02

Very rude and impolitic. You sound like a considerate neighbour so she could have just asked you nicely and had you stop before she got so irate.

SallyLeStrange Mon 06-Feb-17 14:46:50

Oh ...that is terrible her just walking in! I hope you told her where to go

If it helps, we had issues when moving into our house. Our neighbor complained on moving in day that we were moving in too loudly. Then on day two, complained that we were scraping wallpaper off the walls too loudly. At this stage we hadn't even got our TV or stereo out of the boxes.

He was told to get off our doorstep . and never did bother us again..this chap was trying to take the piss out of us and show us who was boss as he had lived in his house for 40 years, and we were newcomers to the street.
You have to remember you have as much right to be there as your neighbour

randomer Mon 06-Feb-17 14:53:08

nice start! Nip this in the bud polite and ask her round for a coffee.

ppeatfruit Mon 06-Feb-17 14:56:38

I hope you stood up to her like Sally says. Say it quietly and firmly. But don't back down, she was being very unreasonable.

toptoe Mon 06-Feb-17 14:59:55

Agree she is letting you know who she thinks is in charge. Ignore. Living noise is acceptable.

HookandSwan Mon 06-Feb-17 15:04:17

That is rude to a) barge in to someone's home and b) speak to anyone you've just met like that.

Some people are just naturally rude I think. I was on the bus today stood with my pram. This women came to get on the bus and said "move your leg please" in a really rude abrupt tone. There was no need for such rudeness of course I would move but I had my back I her so I didn't see her get on.
I always ask nicely the first few times in any of those situations.

NootNoot Mon 06-Feb-17 15:05:08

Have had new neighbours move in on Friday night. They appear to be dismantling the flat & rebuilding it from scratch. I'm on night duty & they decided to start stripping wallpaper on the wall that is other side of our bedroom.
Other half knocked on the door (brandishing two cups of tea) & said "hi I'm X, welcome to Y Street, my OH is currently working nights, would there be any way you could stop stripping Z wall as it's right by the head of our bed, she'll be up at 5pm & tonight is her last night". Their reply "oh gosh sorry, yes sure thing".

No storming, no yelling & certainly no bursting through anyone's front door aka behaving like a normal person.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Mon 06-Feb-17 15:05:44

Yes she was rude. The epitome of rude, in fact. However I fear this could only be the tip of the ice Berg. If I'm honest.
You can't expect children not to play abs make a noise, and living in a flat noise travels.
Some people just have no tolerance.
Its not your fault. You can't tie you soon up. Kids have got to play.
It goes without saying there's no blame on your ds part.
Its not really her fault, either. I don't suppose. She can't a help being an intolerant cranky mccrank face.
Now one thing I will say in her defence. If this is happening constantly at 11pm at night. I could understand her being peeved. Okay kids are kids, but. You've got to have a bit of respect.

Yoksha Mon 06-Feb-17 15:17:18

I'd be inclined to invite her in for tea/coffee. Be ultra polite then, mention you didn't appreciate her method of complaint.

We bought our daughter a house for her & our grandchildren. Her neighbour started shenanigans similar to what you & other pp's mention upthread. She just wasn't confident enough to deal with the problem. I didn't want to interfere because it might have escalated. Her other neighbour told us she had form.

I went to the council offices & picked up one of their printed booklets written by them and the environmental health dept. I suggested to my Dd that the next time she turned up to harass her, just hand her the leaflet. Simply say to her " Yes, I've taken steps to address where we both stand according to the law. You'll find the local number inside this booklet on who and how you should address your complaint ". Then calmly shut the door. She's not been back. That was 4yrs ago.

HarryTheFluff Mon 06-Feb-17 15:25:15

As others have said, yes she was very very rude!! YANBU!

I'd be very careful about trying to placate her or stopping your child playing in the circumstances. It might seem easiest to stop the noise but if you accept this what will be the next request? Don't make yourself a pushover!

We had similar (unreasonable) requests from a neighbor once, the first few things we thought ok it won't affect us too much, we can change our behaviour etc. but then it just got out of hand and because we hadn't challenged them straight out it made it a lot harder to tell them to piss off later down the line!!

mambono5 Mon 06-Feb-17 15:46:33

* If I was you, I wouldn't discourage your DS from playing with his truck. Why shouldn't he play in his own home?!*


It's up to you. The neighbours are above your head. You are not going to win a noise war against them. You are going to have 2 young children and you just bought. Do you really want loud music every evening until 11pm? Someone walking with heels and stomping above your head at nap time?

The woman sounds deranged for barging in your home, I give you that. She is lucky you did not throw her out with a kick in the butt like others would have done. However, your own peace and quiet might depend on her. Maybe the people living in your flat previously were horrendous, and she snapped, believing that the hell will start again. Who knows.

Sometimes it's doesn't matter if you right or wrong. You should apologise and try to be friendly. In the long run, it's so much better to get on well with neighbours.

When you live in a flat, you are not free to do as much noise as you want. You respect other people.

loobyloo1234 Mon 06-Feb-17 16:00:24

She is BU for barging in but I hear so much noise from the flat below me it actually pains me at times so I feel her pain. I've never got so annoyed I needed to go and burst into someones flat mind you. I just bang on the floor with my feet or whatever I can find and tell them to STFU smile

Isadora2007 Mon 06-Feb-17 16:04:42

Was it a very noisy truck? Or is it a very badly insulated flat?
How odd.

I do think that with her being above you I wouldn't be looking to start a noise war as she will win... but I'd just smile and say hi next time you see her as if she hadn't been such a weird cow!

GwenStaceyRocks Mon 06-Feb-17 16:08:36

Did you open the door and then she walked in? Perhaps she had knocked and thought you were opening the door for her?
A rumbling truck noise constantly would be horrendous. So although she was rude, I can sympathise if the noise had been grating on her for hours.

Trifleorbust Mon 06-Feb-17 16:19:35

How loud is the truck?

She shouldn't have walked in but if it was a loud, persistent noise then I don't blame her for complaining.

leojohnsmummy Mon 06-Feb-17 16:21:01

wow she defo should not of just walked in and spoken to you like that!
a simple knock on the door would of been fine but to barge straight in and talk to you in such a rude manor is wrong!

you son is young so he doesn't understand that his truck is noisy. some people really think they are better than the rest of us when tbh they are worse! i'd complain about her for walking in to your home without permission, technically she is trespassing!

play her at her own game and see who wins because what she done compared to the noise the truck makes shes more in the wrong!

FlyWaxSleepRepeat Mon 06-Feb-17 16:26:33

She was, of course, rude and unreasonable to barge into your home like that.

It is worth bearing in mind though, (and I see that you already plan to) that when you buy a flat you accept that there will be some level of everyday noise from your neighbours, but you also accept that you have to be mindful of your own noise and how this can affect people living around you.

Washing machine or vacuum noise, etc, is fair enough, but the sound of a rumbling, in your own words "constantly", would be enough to drive anyone to distraction.

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