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AIBU?

To be sick of listening to my racist brother?

15 replies

RottenTomatoes959 · 05/02/2017 19:43

My not so db is 16. He can barely go ten minutes without using some form of racist language. Everyone is a n*r or p*i or poxy Jew. He speaks awfully to everyone in the house and I'm exhausted by it. I think hes testing out boundaries to see how far he can push everyone in the house.
I've tried to call him out on it before but my mother jumps in and says she'll deal with it and its no my place,which to be fair is true,but then she doesn't do anything.
I'm trying to move out atm so I don't have to around it but unfortunately I'm stuck for a while as I only make 1200 a month and average rent around here is 1500!
I feel at my wits end. I don't feel like I can invite people over or have any company as I'm appalled and embarrassed by him.
I know realistically there's sweet fa I can do atm I just needed a vent

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ConfessorKahlan · 05/02/2017 19:50

Well your mother is completely wrong! It is absolutely your place to confront your brother if his opinions are so offensive. It is preventing you from having friends over and making you feel unwelcome and unhappy in your own home.

Just keep telling him how ignorant and offensive he is and that he needs to keep his disgusting racist language to himself. And then keep telling him until he gets the message. Stand up to your mother to, don't be rude and disrespectful. Explain to her exactly how it makes you feel.

RottenTomatoes959 · 05/02/2017 19:55

I've said to him countless times and he literally laughs in my face and continues It which is around the point my mother intervenes. My.mother is a good woman but any time I bring it up to her she takes it as a criticism to her parenting which its not at all and shuts me out. She trots out the line of its her house not mine and if I don't like it I can leave,which obviously I can't do right now.

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BarbarianMum · 05/02/2017 20:08

Can't you rent a room in a house, rather than your own (whole) place, for less than £1,500?

RottenTomatoes959 · 05/02/2017 20:13

I have a 2 year old DS so finding a house share willing would be a nightmare and I think it would be unfair to put that on housemates and also LO himself.

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MichaelSheensNextDW · 05/02/2017 20:16

You do know you'd be entitled to housing benefit? I think you'd be able to claim for a two bed property even though your child is so little. I'm surprised your son or daughter hasn't started repeated those words if they are hearing them at home.

ConfessorKahlan · 05/02/2017 20:17

Council house or housing association might be helpful as you have a child? Idon't really know, but it sounds as if you have to moe out for your own sake and that of your child if you possibly can.

RottenTomatoes959 · 05/02/2017 20:23

I'm in Ireland,not sure of the rules here but would be great if someone could advise me? So far I've been lucky enough in that its mostly after LO had gone to bed at seven that his tirades start but I won't stay lucky for long. I've pointed out to my mother that LO will eventually pick up on it but as it hasn't happened yet it's apparently not a problem yet

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BarbarianMum · 05/02/2017 20:23

I don't think you should discount house shares completely. Obviously with a toddler it is going to be harder to find somewhere suitable but it may not be impossible. My last house share (many years ago now) was when I was a lodger in a single mum's house - she'd have been up for a share with another single mum. I also have another single mum friend who let's rooms and who sometimes has lodgers with kids (pm me if you are in Sheffield).

BarbarianMum · 05/02/2017 20:24

X post.

RottenTomatoes959 · 05/02/2017 20:28

Thanks anyway barbariunmum

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ShoutOutToMyEx · 05/02/2017 20:31

Is he at school? Does he spout this crap there?

I'd be thinking about a way to get school involved to address it. Even just a quick meeting with a form tutor or HOY. IME they take racism very seriously. Easier said than done as you're not his parent but I just could not hear this kind of thing in my home, I'd be desperate to do anything to stop it.

I was hoping those words would die out soon. Apparently not. Where on earth has he learned this kind of attitude?

I'd be wondering if he wasn't involved in some kind of white supremacists group. Like other extremist groups, they brainwash young men via the internet.

ShoutOutToMyEx · 05/02/2017 20:34

Or you could film it and send it to the gutter press. They love this kind of shit. Would probably go viral. That might shut him up.

RottenTomatoes959 · 05/02/2017 20:34

Yes he's still at school,I don't know if he goes on like that outside of the house,he must but possibly his friends are like minded.
I doubt he's in a group like that. Its not said in a particular anger fuelled or hate way. I think he just thinks its funny to insult any minorities. He's not brainwashed he's just an awful prick.

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RottenTomatoes959 · 05/02/2017 20:37

It would be a good idea to get the school involved but my mother would never go for it and if I rang or spoke to them they'd tell her.
Though the recording him wouldn't be a bad idea even though he'd love the attention. Any attention is good attention for him

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mimishimmi · 05/02/2017 21:00

Remind him that people used to (and some still do) talk about the Irish the same way and show him the pics? Of course, if you're actually Anglo background in Ireland that may not work - he might talk about ethnic Irish like that too!

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