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AIBU?

To be pissed off that I have a family of grazers who eat nothing but shit.

94 replies

YoureNotCockingHungry · 05/02/2017 19:07

Sorry for the rambly post- trying not to drip feed.

I'm no angel. I eat as much pap as everyone else. I haven't eaten gluten for 20 years having been diagnosed with an intolerance so bread, cakes, biscuits, convenience foods are limited for me.

I have two dc who are easy- they eat whatever I cook and will drink water in between meals. I have one dc who is a nightmare and very fussy- please don't tell me to withhold food from her because she actually will starve herself and had to go to hospital and be put on an IV drip rather that eat food that had moisture in.

The problem is dh he gives in to my fussy dc. He goes out and does a separate shop for them- crisps X36 packets a week, mulripackets of biscuits, salty snacks-and in between 3 square meals he grazes on this stuff constantly- I only noticed this when he started working from home a year ago.

My dc has gone downhill- she's have dental isssues to due poor diet, she's constantly dehydrated and the whinging is unbelievable, she struggles at school and leaves in tears because she's so famished (she leaves 70% of her packed lunch untouched) I'm at the end of my tether. It took me YEARS to get her to the point of eating a healthy balanced diet and now honestly it's all gone to shit.

Sorry to be such a whiney cowbag- just spent two hours cooking to have to put half of it in the bin when I know I'm 45 minutes dh and DC will be gorging on crisps, pepperamis and chocolate.

Dh- If ever he's in charge of the DC NEVER cooks it's always takeout -

For the interests of clarity I could be wrong but I'm not a shit cook. I cook regularly for friends and neighbours .

Oh I feel a bit better now

OP posts:

Report

early30smum · 05/02/2017 19:11

Oh this is a rubbish situation. You need to get DH on side, why is he doing it? Do your 2 DC who are good eaters still eat their dinner etc despite the snacks? One thing we have are separate treat boxes- each person has their own one, and when it's gone, it's gone til it's next replenished. Could you try that? I've no idea why your DH would want your kids to eat rubbish?

Stormwhale · 05/02/2017 19:14

I would be questioning why he doesn't give a shit about their health? Your daughters teeth are being affected, is that not enough to make him see the light? I would be devastated to find that my child had dental problems because of something I had done. I think you need to go apeshit over this one op, it's not ok.

YoureNotCockingHungry · 05/02/2017 19:18

Earlymum thank you! 😰
I know it's first world problems but I feel like I'm constantly fighting with someone and being the bad one.
Why does dh do it? Because he likes to graze on shit- a normal day is him eating every 45 minutes - fried eggs, toast, crisps, sugary tea, chocolate

OP posts:

Penhacked · 05/02/2017 19:19

Have you and he read "my child won't eat?"

YoureNotCockingHungry · 05/02/2017 19:20

Stormwhale I have gone apeshit
I made my dh come to the last dental apt with a new dentist and I told her exactly the situation and she (the dentist) tore strips off him and her.

His response- they're baby teeth. My child is 10!

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WorraLiberty · 05/02/2017 19:20

It sounds like he's encouraging the kids to share is unhealthy eating habits, so he's not the 'only one'.

If that's the case, he's a selfish pig.

Have you sat him down and spelled out what he is actually doing to his kids?

YoureNotCockingHungry · 05/02/2017 19:20

No Pen

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YoureNotCockingHungry · 05/02/2017 19:25

Yes WORRAL 😰
So many times.

I'm mocked for eating grains and whole foods I have no choice - actually the kids will eat loads of grains because of watching what I have. It's just this last year everything has gone to pot- he says I'm a hypocrite because I always kept crisps in the house- he doesn't get that they used to last us a fortnight for a bag of 6

I'm exhausted.

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Dragongirl10 · 05/02/2017 19:27

Your DH is a terrible father, he is actively damaging your DC.

There is no food value in the rubbish he is allowing her, and of course DC will be less hungry for your cooked meals if he/she is allowed to fill up on crap.

I would not tolerate this behavior from my DH....

early30smum · 05/02/2017 19:28

It's so tough. It's not great he's eating rubbish but to inflict on your kids is not on. Maybe you could say he's an adult, you won't attempt to police what he eats, but you don't want the kids eating such a large amount of rubbish? So let him have his own stash and ask him to eat it away from them, let them have a sensible amount?

early30smum · 05/02/2017 19:30

Also there is definitely a thing of the more snacks are freely available they more they eat. I stopped buying multipacks of stuff because DH would never eat just 1, he'd eat 3 packs of crisps for eg. So annoying!!

Flisstizzy · 05/02/2017 19:31

Gosh, I'm shocked your Dh would do this. He is damaging your daughters health. He needs to control himself and stop buying the crap.
Can you Bin the lot and get fruit for snacks instead?

YoureNotCockingHungry · 05/02/2017 19:33

They went through 36 bags of crisps last week and I think about 30+ chocolate bars

I'm going to try to separate treat boxes that's a start.

I cannot police an adult on their diet , I serve normal family food- today was chicken paella and home made bread with strawberry shortcake
Half of it in the bin.

OP posts:

YoureNotCockingHungry · 05/02/2017 19:35

Fliss I have bowls of fruit in three rooms (thank god for Aldi) and every morning I make them a fruit salad to eat with something carbie he then sits there eating chocolate croissants and then they want that.

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AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 05/02/2017 19:46

I agree, he is a terrible father who is actively sabotaging your child's health.

BurningBridges · 05/02/2017 19:48

Blimey youre I think your biggest problem is your DH undermining you and behaving like a toddler. Does he have form? How are things with you otherwise?

YoureNotCockingHungry · 05/02/2017 19:52

Otherwise things are ok.

Yes I agree it's really bad form.

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Cocklodger · 05/02/2017 19:55

You need to sit down and tell him straight what he is doing is actually bordering on abusive.
He is willingly putting his DC at risk, and not only that, when you talk to him about it he laughs at you and brushes you off.
36 packets of crisps gone in a week, as well as chocolate bars etc. Not at all normal unless you have a family of 30 to feed.
Your children are clearly suffering from that.
You need to stop him buying these things, if he doesn't relent then you need to seriously reconsider your entire relationship.
Poor nutrition as a teen can make or break someones relationship with food for their whole life.

AllTheLight · 05/02/2017 19:55

I'm shocked at your DH's behaviour. I'd be furious with mine if he did this. I don't know what to suggest really, as you've already tried to talk to him about it many times. How can he think this is ok??

YoureNotCockingHungry · 05/02/2017 19:57

He gives in and I think he blames me for my daughter having to go on a drip a while back.

A few months ago I was with my dc at an event and I'd forgotten cash I only managed to scrabble together some pennies and the only thing we could buy my Dd was a plain ham (she won't eat ham)with butter (she won't eat butter)sandwich on brown bread- I didn't bother to order it because it's something I've had to bin time and time again- she said she was so hungry that she would eat it - and she did every last crumb. That's how I know she's being stubborn and fussy .

OP posts:

YoureNotCockingHungry · 05/02/2017 19:59

I know
I get it
That's why I'm trying to sort it all
And I am tired to shouting
I'm tired and depressed by it.

It's making me feel like a skivvy too but that's beside the point.

OP posts:

foxyloxy78 · 05/02/2017 20:05

I would throw all of the bait food out into the bin. Keep on doing it until he gets the point. If he wants to eat crap he can eat it outside the house.

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YoureNotCockingHungry · 05/02/2017 20:25

Foxy did that in the New Year
He took the packaged stuff out of the bin then took the DC to MacDonald's.
Following day he bought more and hid it in the car.

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Dragongirl10 · 05/02/2017 20:32

Oh op this sounds really bad he is totally undermining you, NOT acceptable at all...you are right re the ham sandwich...your Dc is being fussy and difficult because she can eat rubbish....I do feel for you..

Maybe an ultimatum....he keeps his junk in a locked cupboard and your DCs are not allowed it full stop, he backs you up, and he gives you total control over their diets no more trips to MDs unless you sanction it....or you ask him to leave.....

Please don't give up your DCs health depends on it...

Mummyoflittledragon · 05/02/2017 20:45

I'd be livid. Something has to give. He's acting like a teenager

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