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To be really pissed off with my Sister

(37 Posts)
Tink06 Sun 05-Feb-17 10:55:04

Dsis is a nightmare for repaying money so I don't lend her anything. Plenty of form for saying you pay and I'll give it you back later. This month though I have paid for a few things on my card which were unavoidable so she has ended up owing me some money. Not a major amount but too much to forget about. I did say she could give it me on payday (over a week ago now).
The thing is I have asked her for it every day since she got paid. She always says oh yes I'll do a bank transfer but then nothing happens. She hasn't put the money in still and I now have to ask again. I feel like I'm pestering now and I can see it causing an argument.
She isn't flush with money - neither am I but she has just been paid and has plenty of money to go out. Am getting really fed up of it now and feel like I am harassing her. Aibu to think she should have just given it me back when she said.

Wolfiefan Sun 05-Feb-17 10:57:07

She has form. Don't lend her money or pay for things for her.
Ask to meet to get the cash.

FlyWaxSleepRepeat Sun 05-Feb-17 10:59:49

I can't imagine what you've had to pay for, for her, that was genuinely unavoidable?

She has form, you know the score, stop paying for things for her.

sooperdooper Sun 05-Feb-17 11:00:55

Going forward you'll have to stand firm and never pay out for her, if she hasn't got the money she goes without and only your things go on your card

MidnightVelvetthe7th Sun 05-Feb-17 11:07:24

If it helps in the future, me & my sister use Paypal to transfer money over to each other, e.g. if I buy a gift for someone that's joint she whizzes me her half of the cash over to Paypal, takes seconds & no waiting around.

Keep asking your sister or else she'll assume its a debt that can wait forever.

foxyloxy78 Sun 05-Feb-17 11:10:33

Keep asking her for the money and don't ever lend her again. She needs to grow up and take responsibility.

FlyWaxSleepRepeat Sun 05-Feb-17 11:11:14

If it helps in the future, me & my sister use Paypal to transfer money over to each other, e.g. if I buy a gift for someone that's joint she whizzes me her half of the cash over to Paypal, takes seconds & no waiting around

It's exactly the same with a bank transfer, which the sister has repeatedly promised then failed to do.

Softkitty2 Sun 05-Feb-17 11:26:35

Pester as much as you want. Or enough of the niceties and tell her straight that she needs to pay you back no ifs no buts. And stop lending or paying for anything.

OurBlanche Sun 05-Feb-17 11:29:04

Am getting really fed up of it now and feel like I am harassing her.

Tell her that! Be blunt! She obviously doesn't think it is a big deal... put her straight

And add... because of this I won't ever be lending you any money again.

EweAreHere Sun 05-Feb-17 11:42:10

I agree. Be blunt!

You are not her bank. You are her sister. And you can't afford to be out of pocket. And how rude and self centred she is to think she doesn't have to pay you back.

Because that it what she thinks. Her behavior is telling you this.

Spell it out to her.

ghostwatch Sun 05-Feb-17 11:45:03

YANBU you shouldn't even have to ask for it back. Try to avoid an argument by not raising your voice and just ask her again and tell her how it's making you feel.

LindyHemming Sun 05-Feb-17 11:47:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LindyHemming Sun 05-Feb-17 11:48:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Closedenv Sun 05-Feb-17 11:50:26

You know yabu because she has form. Sad to say but it's true. You felt it was unavoidable, was it really definately unavoidable or was it easier? Would it have caused you personally any problem to just not pay and you both or her to have gone without? Or was it a situation that you found history repeating itself, one of oh sister will pay/sort this out with her own card or cash? I only say all this because I have personal experience and it's hard very hard but in the end it's you who the sister will fall out/or moan to everyone about.

happypoobum Sun 05-Feb-17 12:03:16

You know she has form for failing to repay so why did you put yourself in this position again?

Ilovecaindingle Sun 05-Feb-17 12:04:36

Just tell her that bank of sis has gone bust. ...

Bluntness100 Sun 05-Feb-17 12:07:04

She's clearly out of line, if you owe it you pay it when you said you would or explain why you can't. Text her and say you're disappointed she has not transferred the cash as promised and to get it done immediately.

StickyMouse Sun 05-Feb-17 12:08:01

Ask again and if not paid today tell her that you are tired of her flakiness and won't be booking/paying for things for her again, even if it means that she is missing out

Meridien Sun 05-Feb-17 12:09:18

Don't be apologetic or embarrassed! Be detached, polite, cool headed, firm and tell her you're very disappointed that she could treat her own sister this way. Does she really want you to think she's a thief? If that's a conversation over coffee or lunch, pay for your own, not hers. So frustrating. Sometimes, shaming is the only option.

EZA15 Sun 05-Feb-17 12:19:08

It's difficult isn't it? My sister used to do this to me. We'd go to the till together and there'd be some reason as to why I ended up paying for her food shop or clothes (I was a student and she lived in a nice big house, I knew she had money because she'd leave her bank statements in plain view). It came to a head when we had gone out for lunch, I paid for mine. She claimed she had not bought her purse with her and I refused point blank to pay for her half. Lo and behold out came her purse!

diddl Sun 05-Feb-17 12:19:27

Are you saying that you've put stuff for her own your card?

What was so important if so?

mumgointhroughtorture Sun 05-Feb-17 12:22:34

My Sis is exactly the same. I'm still owed for my kids Christmas presents from her. Even though I've spent a fortune on my DN since he's been born. It drives me mad. I think they expect it if you do it so often. You need to point blank say no more and mean it. Coz otherwise she will never change and it will affect your rship with her.

TeaholicsAnonymous Sun 05-Feb-17 12:37:07

I would announce quite ceremoniously that you're magnanimously going to write off existing debts but you will never lend her money again.

LexieLulu Sun 05-Feb-17 12:40:11

I'd make up a lie and tell her you're desperate for money as you need to pay XXX.

Shouldn't have to lie but if she doesn't pay you back when you can't pay for electric say, well she is a horrible cow

VeryBitchyRestingFace Sun 05-Feb-17 12:41:51

Unless you paid for life saving treatment for her, I'd say you're just as culpable as she is here.

I know that's harsh, but just remember Einstein's definition of insanity next time she asks.

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