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To try this with toddler?

(55 Posts)
littlem133 Sun 05-Feb-17 06:23:19

DS3 is 2 this month. He always used to be a good sleeper but since Christmas he's refused to go to sleep in the day, is problematic to get down in the evening and wakes throughout the night. DH and I work full time shifts and have two older children. We've tried cutting his day nap, leaving him to cry, and now generally sleep on his floor throughout the night hoping it's just a phase. It's a long phase now. I've got him to sleep yesterday afternoon by sitting on his floor by the door with my back to him and crept out after a bit. What do I do at night though-sit on the floor again each time he wakes?! He woke at 5.20 this morning (which is a good long chunk of sleep for him) and I'm still sat by his door with my back to him whilst he's stood in his cot! I'm full of cold and exhausted!

Iwasjustabouttosaythat Sun 05-Feb-17 06:46:04

What's he doing in a cot at 2 years old? Get him a proper single mattress on a trundle bed and lie down to cuddle him to sleep. At least in the evening. I just say goodnight to DS and take a (much needed) little nap next to him. He's sound asleep by the time I wake up.

You can do it in the day too but it's possible he's dropping his naps? Some kids do that pretty early.

Baffledonthisone Sun 05-Feb-17 06:46:28

I assume from the approach you are taking cosleeping isn't something you would try. But I would recommend it if you could. Step away from the baby books and follow what feels natural.

Oogle Sun 05-Feb-17 06:51:25

What does it matter if he's still in a cot?! My 2yr old is still in a cot. He's happy, sleep is good and I know that if he was in a proper bed he'd be up and down like a yo-yo.

There is a sleep regression at 2. We went through it and it was hell but we're out the other side. For now, you do whatever gets you through the night. Whether that's co-sleep, sleep on his floor or whatever works. Not helpful I know! For daytime nap, would he sleep in car? Not ideal but sometimes needs must!

EyeStye Sun 05-Feb-17 07:07:29

Iwas I don't know many kids who were out of a cot before their second birthday! Mine stayed in until well over 2, only when they started to climb out, keep them contained as long as possible I say
Op I would do some controlled crying you can't go on like this.

Eminybob Sun 05-Feb-17 07:17:35

DS went through this just as he turned 2 too.
He was still in a cot (still is at 2.5) so I would lie next to him with my hand through the bars until he fell asleep. It lasted for about a month and then he went back to settling himself.
I originally put it down to the fact that we got rid of his bedtime bottle at the same time, but actually it sounds like it is pretty common to have a sleep regression at that age.
Just ride it out, do what you need to do.
Fwiw DS has never self settled for daytime naps, I have always had to cuddle him to sleep for that and still quite happily do now!
I say do whatever makes your life easist.

Baffledonthisone Sun 05-Feb-17 07:18:13

She said she has tried that and it hasn't worked. I think it only works if you are personally invested in the approach. The same with cosleeping. It's not that one works better that the other, but different approaches 'fit' different families.

(But that doesn't sell baby books!)

ASqueakingInTheShrubbery Sun 05-Feb-17 07:22:00

Who has him while you're working and what happens there about his nap? If you work FT, does that mean you only deal with naps at weekends? I don't know how to fix it as I've never managed it, but with DD I stick her in the car and drive about until she's had an hour's sleep. Ideally we arrange that around ending up at somewhere we wanted to go anyway, but sometimes I just drive. I like an hour's break to listen to the radio. I probably wouldn't do it if she was with me every day as the petrol would cost a fortune, but for the weekends it's manageable.

MakeItRain Sun 05-Feb-17 07:22:58

One thing I would definitely do is get up with him at 5.20. That's quite a normal time to begin the day for some children. My son woke at that time for years! He was ready to get up and would never have gone back to sleep.
Otherwise, well dropping the nap isn't that unusual at 2 either. I also cuddled mine to sleep at night, but that's not for everyone.

liquidrevolution Sun 05-Feb-17 07:30:03

Drop the nap or reduce it to max 30 mins?

You sound exhausted!

user1484226561 Sun 05-Feb-17 07:34:41

It sounds to me that you want him to sleep more than he needs to. Mine had dropped their day time naps way before this, and slept much less at night,- until they were teenagers!

Somehowsomewhere Sun 05-Feb-17 07:38:19

Mine dropped her nap completely at 20 months so it might be that he just doesn't need to nap any more?

Ponderingprivately Sun 05-Feb-17 07:41:23

What's he doing in a cot at 2 years old? Huh?! Loads (I would guess majority) of two year olds are still in a cot.

Op, have you looked at gradual retreat method? Also agree nap dropping consistently might work.

insancerre Sun 05-Feb-17 07:44:09

If he is awake at 5.20 then you need to get up with him
He sounds like you are trying to control his sleep when you should be supporting him to regulate his own sleep
A lot of children don't need a day time nap and sleep better when they drop it
If you are fighting with him to get him to sleep during the day then I would say he doesn't need that sleep
You should be aiming for your 2 year old to be getting about 12 hours sleep a night

Mindtrope Sun 05-Feb-17 07:46:05

He may sleep better in bed with you.

AliceInUnderpants Sun 05-Feb-17 07:49:08

Are you in the UK? So posted this at 6.30?

He may be ready to give up nap. My youngest didn't nap regularly after 15 months. He won't nap during the day forever, surely you know that?
Why didn't you get up with him at 5.30? Instead you left him in his cot for another hour trying to force him to sleep?

Somehowsomewhere Sun 05-Feb-17 07:50:03

We moved DD1 into a bed at 22 months. Wish we hadn't. It made her sleep much worse.
DD2 is 19 months and in a cot. She sleeps 7-7 (which DD1 has never done!) so will be in a cot until she's 18.

(Joking, obvs)

NapQueen Sun 05-Feb-17 07:54:27

I'm another one with a 2 (2y3m to be specific) in a cot. Why take them out if they aren't yet trying to climb out of it??

Can you start an earlier bedtime whilst he gets used to no nap?

empirerecordsrocked Sun 05-Feb-17 07:56:39

I had to resort to driving dts around for an hour or so at that age. They needed the sleep but fought it all the way.

nutbrownhare15 Sun 05-Feb-17 08:05:33

It does sound like a phase. I don't understand why you would have your back to him? No doubt it's some sort of sleep training technique but he is clearly finding it hard to.sleep and just wants some human comfort, especially as he has been.subject to being left to cry. I would go for the floor bed rather than cot and cuddle to.sleep approach too, go to bed early and share lie ins with partner on the weekend.

mygorgeousmilo Sun 05-Feb-17 08:17:13

None if mine napped at 2, as they then didn't sleep at night. Drop the nap

GloGirl Sun 05-Feb-17 08:19:30

There is no way I'd treat 5.30 as a reasonable morning wake up time. Anything before 6.30 I classed as the middle of the night and treated it the same as 2.30 am.

Somehowsomewhere Sun 05-Feb-17 08:23:39

Similar to GloGirl, anything before 6am has always been considered a night waking here.

user1484226561 Sun 05-Feb-17 08:23:57

There is no way I'd treat 5.30 as a reasonable morning wake up time.

depends on your child, when mine were little, this would have been a lie in!

Flisstizzy Sun 05-Feb-17 08:29:48

I'm with the PP's in saying 5.30 is not a reasonable getting up time. The DS needs to get back to sleep, the OP sounds exhausted.
What time does he go to bed OP? If it's too early can this be pushed back along with dropping day time nap?

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