Ds and homework

[Whatthefudger]

I'll try and keep this short.

So firstly, some background. DS. In year six is ten years old. From December 2015 until October last year, he was bullied terribly by another child. I'm not over exaggerating when I say the bullying was horrific, it was physical and verbal and DS went from being a happy little boy to an incredibly depressed anxious child. Things got so bad he became mentally ill and cahms became involved. It got to the point where he wanted to kill himself and was caught trying to harm himself by my mum.

In October last year I absolutely lost my shit and basically removed him from school. Thankfully the school finally pulled their finger out and sorted it and cahms and the support officer in school worked with him so he could go back.

The change has been amazing he has gone back to the funny self deprecating (if slightly cocky) child he was before.

As I said, he is in year six so we are in sats territory. He is a sort of top end middle of the road student, however with last year's events and the fact he missed a lot of school he's a touch behind.

So since January we've been putting pressure on (albeit slowly). He goes into school one hour early once a week with a group of kids for extra literacy. Tbh his teacher has said he's not necessarily that behind in literacy but needs some confidence in writing. He does a maths workbook which is homework once a week and spellings on a Friday. He is also having extra tuition for maths which I have arranged privately. We also try and do 10 mins of maths an evening. School also send weekend homework home which is normally a little topic to write about and hand in on Monday. This year I've decided that can be left, at least whilst he's doing the early morning club once a week. I discussed this with teacher and the school counsellor who he sees for 10 mins a day and they didn't look impressed.

DS has now said his teacher has started to say he should be doing this as he's not going to pass his sats if he doesn't . I'm a bit annoyed that she couldn't talk about this with me.

So mumsnetters. AIBU? I don't want to push him too hard as I'm still very wary about his mental health. Or should I insist on the topic as well. Sorry that's very long.

[allofthestress]

If he needs more confidence in writing surely the topic work would help that?
If he's top end of middle does he really need the maths tuition and the extra maths you do every day? It doesn't seem like he's really behind.

If the teacher has said he'll fail that's not on though.

[Whatthefudger]

Hmm maybe you're correct. I did sit down with his teacher at the beginning of the year and she said he had got behind in both maths and English. So the extra hour at school a week is for English and the maths at home and with tutor is to help in maths.

It's a toss up between getting him sat ready and my fear that pushing him too hard could cause problems.

[TeenAndTween]

It seems a bit strange to be doing extra literacy to improve confidence, and then unilaterally not do the actual literacy homework.
Surely if he's doing too much you drop one of the extra things?

But I'm not that keen about teachers talking about passing / not passing SATs either.

[Allthewaves]

He needs confidence in writing so they are sending him some hw to complete over wkend that is writing to help him - why wouldn't u do it