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A shared driveway one - who was BU?

(74 Posts)
iknowimcoming Sat 04-Feb-17 13:00:39

We live in one of 3 houses which share a single lane driveway (not long btw, in a housing estate). Last night DH came home to find he couldn't get down the drive as next door was having supermarket delivery. The driver had reversed into their drive but was sticking out on the drive so as DH couldn't get past. DH waited for 6-8 mins and then realised that the driver hadn't even knocked on the door so was clearly going to be some time.

So he left his car at the top of the driveway (blocking it) and unloaded the car of our food shopping and brought it in the house, not wanting our frozen stuff to defrost. He assumed that at the point the delivery truck was ready to leave, driver would come and knock on the door.

Anyway fifteen minutes pass and I'm upstairs, DH downstairs, when I hear my mobile ring, I shout to DH to see who it is, but it goes to voicemail before he gets to it, but sees missed call is from ndn (she and I are friends) and assumes they need him to move car so goes to do so.

Whilst walking up driveway ndn shouts out to him, how dare he block the driveway!! DH explains frozen food etc, she says he should have waited, he says he did wait initially, but it was too long, she says it couldn't possibly have been more than a minute. DH says how would you know you were inside and the driver hadn't even knocked your door yet!

She stomps off indoors before DH had finished his sentence, slams door. I come downstairs, listen to voicemail message, from which it is clear that she is very angry and that DH is totally in the wrong!!

DH comes in fuming and we are both baffled as to how it's apparently ok for her driver to block the drive but NOT OK for DH to do the same.

Had it been me I would have knocked on the door and said sorry you couldn't get down the drive, the driver has finished now could you please move your car. No biggie! However, I suspect this will be a friendship ending event, she has form for a very quick temper, sadly. So oh wise ones who WBU?

HecateAntaia Sat 04-Feb-17 13:06:37

Since the driver was still in the van I'd have knocked on the window and spoken to them and arranged with the driver to just tap on your door when they need to leave.
Maybe they'd have repositioned the van even.

TheMaddHugger Sat 04-Feb-17 13:08:44

If all it takes is this for the friendship to end, She was never a true friend anyway

Chloe84 Sat 04-Feb-17 13:09:07

SIBU

Next time knock on her door and tell her she needs to get the delivery driver to move.

bloodynosyneighbour Sat 04-Feb-17 13:09:08

Driver and your dh were both BU but dh a bit more.
Why didn't your dh speak to the driver before blocking him in?
Also how come it took him 15 mins to unpack the shopping? It sounds as though he was being deliberately obtuse.

NightWanderer Sat 04-Feb-17 13:09:34

I agree with Hectate. Or he should have popped in with the shopping and come straight out again.

LucklessMonster Sat 04-Feb-17 13:10:33

Weird behaviour from your husband. Why didn't he ask the delivery driver to move?

Neighbour overreacted though.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Sat 04-Feb-17 13:11:45

She's unreasonable but I don't know why your husband didn't knock on the drivers window to alert him, or go out immediately after putting the shopping in the house.

EweAreHere Sat 04-Feb-17 13:15:01

Your neighbour is being unreasonable, as was the food delivery truck driver.

We have had the same thing happen here, and we DID ask the delivery driver to move their truck so we could access the shared drive. They were very rude about it. I had a right go and complained to the store (Tesco).

StarlingMurderation Sat 04-Feb-17 13:15:42

Why didn't he just ask the delivery person to move?

OverAndAbove Sat 04-Feb-17 13:18:28

Why was the neighbour so angry? It wasn't her that was blocked in. That's odd!

FireInTheHead Sat 04-Feb-17 13:20:12

Agree, DH should have approached the driver and said let him know when he was ready to get out. What he did sounds a bit PA and arsey. Frozen food won't defrost in 15 minutes. I get the impression this isn't the first time something like this has happened maybe because your ndn has form for being arsey herself? Even so, it wasn't the driver's fault. Shared driveway is always going to be difficult and there are always going to be little inconveniences you'll have to suck up so compromising is the only way to go.

Bluntness100 Sat 04-Feb-17 13:20:13

I also have a shared drive and if a workman or driver is blocking it, I simply ask the driver to move As I need access. If too difficult for him I simply say ok just let me know when you're done. I am unsure why he simply blocked the guy in and didn't say anything. Unusual behaviour in my view. Our neighbours do the same as us, speak to the driver, and we've never had a problem. It's simply common sense.🙄

NerrSnerr Sat 04-Feb-17 13:21:15

I think he should have just asked the delivery driver to move. If that wasn't possible I would have just kept an eye out for when he was delivering and I would have nipped out and moved the car at the right time. It does sound like she really overreacted though.

woodhill Sat 04-Feb-17 13:21:52

Neighbour was being vu, I would have been mortified if my delivery was causing inconvenience to my ndn and stopping them being able to park

OurBlanche Sat 04-Feb-17 13:22:22

Drop her a note.... explain what happened in detail and tell her, she has absolutely no god given right to shout and bawl at you for blocking in a delivery driver that was blocking you out.

Remind her that you are neighbours and have to share that drive being nice might be useful to her at some point.

If she has form for losing her temper, anyone she moans to will have sympathy for you

Oakmaiden Sat 04-Feb-17 13:36:28

Thing is -isn't it illegal to park so you are blocking someone's access to the main highway? Whereas it is not illegal to prevent someone from accessing a private driveway. So that makes your husband legally in the wrong.

Added to which he KNEW he had blocked the delivery van on the drive and did so deliberately, whilst the delivery driver was unaware (presumably) that your dh would happen to return and want to drive up the drive at that moment. Which makes him doubly unreasonable.

harderandharder2breathe Sat 04-Feb-17 13:37:13

DH should've spoken to the driver and asked him to move. NDN has no control over how the delivery driver parks.

EastMidsMummy Sat 04-Feb-17 13:37:40

A delivery driver (who presumably doesn't know about the shared driveway) is parked at the address he's been asked to deliver to.

Your husband blocks him in.

Why couldn't your husband unload the frozen food and them move his car??

FireInTheHead Sat 04-Feb-17 13:38:37

woodhill And come the time for the OP to have a delivery? Her ndn blocks that driver in and so it escalates. Honestly, for the sake of a few minutes inconvenience you need mutual allowancesfor such inconveniences on both sides, everyone can get on. But, hey, you're right it wouldn't be good if everyone thought like that because then we wouldn't have parking wars to talk about on MN.

Olympiathequeen Sat 04-Feb-17 13:39:21

Your DH was being an arse. The driver just checks for 2-3 minutes before getting out of the van. He should have knocked on the window and asked to driver to move a little or have waited 5 minutes. Frozen food doesn't defrost in 10 minutes.

It was a case of parking rage

greenfolder Sat 04-Feb-17 13:40:19

We have a shared driveway in a corner spot. On the odd occasion either of us come home and a delivery or similar is blocking the drive we just turn and park on the road. It's called being civil.
Your neighbour is being unreasonable but so was your dh for blocking them in assuming there was a space on the road. Can't beleive dh sat for 8 mins without knocking on the window of the van

Allthewaves Sat 04-Feb-17 13:41:41

Why didn't your dh unload car then park it in street do delivery driver could get out.

Suppose neighbour thought he deliberately blocked driver in to make a point

barinatxe Sat 04-Feb-17 13:42:17

Why didn't your DH ask the driver to move?

Wondermoomin Sat 04-Feb-17 13:43:12

Your DH sat waiting in the car for 6-8 minutes and realised that the delivery driver hadn't knocked on the door yet? What were they doing, having a staring competition?! confused Something doesn't ring true - the sensible thing would've been for your DH to speak to the delivery driver...

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