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Was my friend or the school being unreasonable?

(4 Posts)
Nibledbyducks Sat 04-Feb-17 02:08:15

My friend's son attends a school for children with behavioural needs, he's 12. He is on respiridone for his condition. On Wednesday my friend put his medication in a cup on the side for him with a drink while she was washing up, his taxi arrived and she realised that he hadn't taken his pills. This has been the routine for his medication for several months. The next day he took his medication as normal. He left home at ten past eight. Just after ten the admin office called to ask if he was OK as he had been sleeping. She mentioned that he hadn't taken his medication the day before and that was most likely the reason and that he was otherwise well. She spoke to him and he said he went to sleep because he was bored, a common strategy he uses when he doesn't want to engage. Just after twelve the safeguarding officer rang her and told her that he had been asleep for three to four hours and that she needed to accept help from parent support or it would be reported to social services that she wasn't monitoring his medication properly. He has missed his medication a total of three times ever. She told me that she was defensive but explained this and was told she was being aggressive and the call would end if she didn't stop. At no point did she raise her voice or swear. After she had calmed down she returned the call to point out that her son could not have been asleep for even three hours as she had spoken to him two hours before, the officer replied that she would need to investigate but my friend retorted that she had a lot on her phone. The officer went on to admit that she had no idea of her son's condition.
AIBU to think that it is not unusual to dispense medication to a 12 year old and expect him to administer it and that the safeguarding officer was heavy handed and should have read his file before the call?

RedastheRose Sat 04-Feb-17 02:18:58

Unless there is more that you do not know it sounds to me like the school was unreasonable not your friend.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Sat 04-Feb-17 02:39:20

Definitely the school! You poor friend shock

Chilli1 Sat 04-Feb-17 03:01:23

The school were. My daughter is at a very similar school, and we've often had the same sort of thing. I think they're so busy, with unexpected things happening all the time, that they don't have a complete idea what's going on. I often get calls to say my daughter has walked out of school, and that they'll ring me when and if she returns. No one ever calls me back, but I ring her and she's always on the (very small) playground somewhere, just taking 5 minutes when something has upset her (e.g. Someone has been violent to her, or she's witnessed another student or member of staff get hurt.). She always goes straight back to class.

I get calls about once a week telling me they don't think my daughter has taken her medication. Every time I say no she hasn't. She stopped taking it in June under medical advice. This week I had a call saying she was very dark around her eyes, had she taken something? I spend the day a nervous wreck only for her to come home and tell me she'd lost her concealer (the cat loves small things that roll, and he'd knocked it under her bed), and not worn make up that day. Things really seem to be blown out of proportion.

I get calls every single day, usually more than one and I wonder how other parents cope. It's mostly office staff, who are great, but a couple of the teachers are a bit irritating. One always mentions my daughters autism and when I tell her she's not autistic she says I'm very defensive. I probably am a bit, but she isn't autistic, what am I meant to say? We've had the same conversation maybe 20 times, but it doesn't seem to sink in.

I feel really sorry for your friend. Is there a chance of her son going back into mainstream school or being educated another way? My daughter is in year eleven so only has a few more months left. I've been really positive towards the school up until recently, but am just counting down until she leaves now.

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